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Old 8th Mar 2005, 20:30
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My aircrew partner has been posted at relatively short notice against his wishes (and possibly with detriment to his career) to a ground tour that is not commutable. Other colleagues have been able to turn this down, but he has been posted on the grounds of service needs. This has happened many times during his service career. To date, he has always accepted these postings as part of his "job", but now in our late 30's, with small children we would like a modicum of stability. We are not married, and have had to postpone our wedding twice due to service committments. I feel discriminated against as we are living together but not married. Ironically, my career is in HR and professional development! Does this exist in the RAF? Any advice as to where we should go from here?
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Old 8th Mar 2005, 20:54
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Red face

This sounds like a familiar tale of the RAF Personnel Management Agency. Let me guess - there was "no-one else who could possibly do the job"..? You will note that the RAF doesn't use the advert where they shut the supermarket when one of the employees gets a thorn in their finger...
Has his command chain tried to pull the plug on the posting?
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Old 8th Mar 2005, 21:00
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Very true Compressorstall! Can't say I recall the advert though. So far apart from a lot of support and kind words from close colleagues nothing seems to have been done. Would be interested to know if anyone else has been penalised for not being "married"? Owning a home together and having kids doesn't seem to count!
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Old 8th Mar 2005, 21:00
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Short answer, and probably not what you want to hear, but he will go where he's told and if you love him you will follow

Not ideal but thats what service life is all about.......Mrs L has followed me round, 10 houses and 8 postings in 25 years of married life, cos that's how it is...........but as she got a fantastic new job yesterday some would say it's worth the effort

all spelling mistakes are "df" alcohol induced
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Old 8th Mar 2005, 21:04
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Fair point and hat's off to your loyal missus! But why does the RAF only take your view point into account when you are married? Quite prepared to move, but feel disappointed that the short notice is down to him being classed as "single".
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Old 8th Mar 2005, 21:10
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Binky1969 - Sympathetic one may be but as Always_broken_in_wilts syas it is down to service needs. Methinks it is fortunate you were not a "partner" in the 60's or 70's. Incidentally the notion of HR and professional development is far far different in the services than in most civilian firms. In the services for example one issues ORDERS that have to be obeyed, like postings.
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Old 8th Mar 2005, 21:12
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Sorry I think you are living a dream world if you think that married couples have it any better.

Memo to self:
Must remember at work to stitch those nasty co-habiting couples!

What tosh, I don't look at married status when handing out those short notice detachments that are increasingly part of the job.

As for PMA and postings, don't think it is possible to comment on your experiences without all the facts.

Want stability, so do we, so I am retireing.

Will edit later for excessive grumpiness!
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Old 8th Mar 2005, 21:13
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Binky. Always Broken has a point, but it is a very traditionalist point. Your partner is entitled to a degree of fair treatment and it should only be a short notice move if PMA have some pressing reason to create the move, normally they should know well in advance of a post coming up - don't they control them anyway?
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Old 8th Mar 2005, 21:27
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Dear Working Hard and Mr Ripley - if nothing else you have made me chuckle! Being a 'partner' in 2005 has caused many a raised eyebrow at mess functions and guffaws from the chaps but I'm sure it was much worse in the 60's. Mr R, don't worry about seeming grumpy - I wish you well on your retirement and I hope you find highly paid work in the commercial sector (which can still be highly unstable I'm afraid).
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Old 8th Mar 2005, 21:41
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I know of many folk in the RAF who have told their partners that the posting/detachment/course, etc was against their wishes so that the angst can be directed elswehere...ie the "uncaring" desk officer.

Somebody who has been posted "many times" would usually get a decent hearing if he questioned the move at the outset.
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Old 8th Mar 2005, 21:51
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Dear DP Harvey. Another fair point, but I'm not blaming the desk officer here as I feel he has also been pressed into a corner. A 'fair hearing was given', but in the end he was told he was going anyway. The short-notice aspect seems unfair as it gives no opportunity for us to move as a family.
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Old 8th Mar 2005, 22:04
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Binky. The others all have a point, but it is reasonable in this day and age to have your interests taken into account too. The military fights wars, and the needs there are pretty much cut and dried, but outside of those excursions, military people have lives too. You have a valid point and I understand that you feel disgruntled about a short-notice posting. Hopefully, the next posting will suit your families needs as well as serving the ever changing needs of wherever your partner serves.
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Old 8th Mar 2005, 22:06
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Binky,

I'm sorry to hear of your plight but abiw is right. And i'll also say this from having a service family background. If he is career-minded then your relationship with him will come a very close second to his relationship with the RAF. Sorry but that's my take on service life and I hope i'm wrong.
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Old 8th Mar 2005, 23:01
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Strange he's had so many 'short notice' postings - does he keep fcuking up?

16B
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Old 8th Mar 2005, 23:03
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I feel discriminated against as we are living together but not married.
Maybe you do Binky, but you shouldn't do on the grounds of the short notice posting or the ignoring of your partners' wishes. I'm married accompanied. My last posting came at 3 weeks' notice and the one before that was even less. Last time, I managed to get the family moved with me (moved on the Fri, started work on Mon), but the time before took 6 weeks to arrange their move after I had started at the opposite end of the country. Each time, the wife has had to abandon her employment and start the round of job hunting again at the new location. In this way, you are not being discriminated against - we really are all treated at least as badly... Always try to look on the bright side - not only would it have been much worse in the 60s, but it would be much worse now if your other half was not aircrew, as he could expect to be subjected many more frequent moves as a ground pounder than the average aircrew mate. (Or should that be mean aircrew mate? Stats always bored me silly.)
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Old 9th Mar 2005, 00:03
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Errrr - Binky, it has to be asked!!!!
If you have been together long enough to have a family, should not you by now have seen the benefits of legitimising said family by doing the legal bits.
You can then join the rest of us and suffer the whims of the "DESK MAN" without recourse to winge-ing about it!!!!
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Old 9th Mar 2005, 03:48
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It used to be due to the 'exigencies of the Service' that one received what was known in 'The Andrew' as a 'pier head jump'.

The more things change ....
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Old 9th Mar 2005, 06:07
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Dear All. Thank you for your comments. It seems that short-notice postings are very common. I may have seemed naive, but I really hadn't come across anyone else who had been given such short notice with no option to challenge. You are obviously all far more tolerant than me! Rant over - I will have to look forward to his weekly commute.
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