PPRuNe Forums

Military Aviation A forum for the professionals who fly military hardware. Also for the backroom boys and girls who support the flying and maintain the equipment, and without whom nothing would ever leave the ground. All armies, navies and air forces of the world equally welcome here.

Closed Thread
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 13th Jun 2004, 03:01   #1 (permalink)
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Warrington, UK
Posts: 3,144
Just When You Thought This Government Couldn't Do Any Worse...

Found this on a Government website:

The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as “EuroEnglish”.

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly this will make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of the “k”. This should klear up konfusion and komputer keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replased with the “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will encourage the removal of double letters, which will have always ben a deterent to akurate spelling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent “e”s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away. By the 4th year peopl wil be reseptiv to such steps as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”. During ze fifz year ze uneseary “o” can be droped from vords kontaining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ze fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensbl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trublis or difikulties and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

MightyGem is offline  
Old 13th Jun 2004, 10:59   #2 (permalink)
Red On, Green On
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Between the woods and the water
Age: 18
Posts: 6,489
Old hat MG, this one's been around for years....
airborne_artist is offline  
Closed Thread

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT. The time now is 20:39.

© 1996-2012 The Professional Pilots Rumour Network

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.1