Best/Worst In-Flight Catering
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"But by the time I left it was baby-puke baguettes and bloody S1 boxes due to the laziness of certain ALMs in 10 ops who weren't capable of phoning through the crew meal order on towline trips."
No phones on the captains desk then Beag's
Without a doubt the worst item of in flight I have had the misfortune to order was the "racing chickin" out of Nairobi This stuff was so fuc'in tough it put Arnie to shame......even the army bods down the back couldnt face it
However OEU trail from Boscombe to somewhere in Nevada and it's Joe's route check
One lame duck bends into St Louis and we dutifly follow. Hasty handling agent/hotel/caterer faff but all seems to fall into place...........possible upgrade coming
A nice evening in town and a trip up the "tower" is spoiled by the fast jet bods, sneaky b@stards, fixin the dead jet early and like the start of the grand national..... were off
Quick call to caterers reveal they can't help, not enough notice, so a call to the handlers reveals they can access most civvy outlets. I order pizza and sub rolls for all on board, 23 pax and 6 crew, as its a planned 4 hour leg. All change as we are now going down the road to Oklahoma and it's only just over 1 hour flying time. Handlers pitch up with 2 golf carts laden with food.....a dustbin lid the size of Bournmouth for everyone and a "yard long" plus chips etc .....examiners cool is slowly dissapearing. however imagine Krakatoa and you have some idea of the pooh I was in when the very helpful caterers pitched up with our assorted main meals gateaux etc etc. He was last seen heading for the airport perimeter swearing and hasten to add no upgrade for Joe
Managed to salvage most of it at Oklahoma by getting the hotel to chill it overnight and did'nt poisen anyone the following day.
Best rations have come inlots of places but "supermarket shop" in Bari has produced some superb in flight delights but any of the curry/samosa/spling loll/nan bread combinations form Muscat etc have to rate as some of the best food around.
al spelling mistakes are "df"alcohol induced
No phones on the captains desk then Beag's
Without a doubt the worst item of in flight I have had the misfortune to order was the "racing chickin" out of Nairobi
This stuff was so fuc'in tough it put Arnie to shame......even the army bods down the back couldnt face it However OEU trail from Boscombe to somewhere in Nevada and it's Joe's route check
One lame duck bends into St Louis and we dutifly follow. Hasty handling agent/hotel/caterer faff but all seems to fall into place...........possible upgrade coming A nice evening in town and a trip up the "tower" is spoiled by the fast jet bods, sneaky b@stards, fixin the dead jet early and like the start of the grand national..... were off
Quick call to caterers reveal they can't help, not enough notice, so a call to the handlers reveals they can access most civvy outlets. I order pizza and sub rolls for all on board, 23 pax and 6 crew, as its a planned 4 hour leg. All change as we are now going down the road to Oklahoma and it's only just over 1 hour flying time. Handlers pitch up with 2 golf carts laden with food.....a dustbin lid the size of Bournmouth for everyone and a "yard long" plus chips etc .....examiners cool is slowly dissapearing. however imagine Krakatoa and you have some idea of the pooh I was in when the very helpful caterers pitched up with our assorted main meals gateaux etc etc. He was last seen heading for the airport perimeter swearing and hasten to add no upgrade for Joe Managed to salvage most of it at Oklahoma by getting the hotel to chill it overnight and did'nt poisen anyone the following day.
Best rations have come inlots of places but "supermarket shop" in Bari has produced some superb in flight delights but any of the curry/samosa/spling loll/nan bread combinations form Muscat etc have to rate as some of the best food around.
al spelling mistakes are "df"alcohol induced
Guesting as an Examiner on 'Shiny' Ten, we flew from BAH to AKT. I thought that the in-flight rationing was perhaps a bit meagre - but it wasn't a particularly long leg so no big deal. After getting to the accommodation block, the reason for the meagreness was obvious - tray after tray of canapes, lobster tails etc.....which the pie master and his cohort of thieves had hidden away during the flight and then laid out for a 'room party' so that they wouldn't have to pay for a kebab out of their own pockets. "Glad I won't be signing for your cabin crew's fraud", I told the captain - then the real aircrew went off to Polis' for a proper kebab, leaving the thieves to their own devices.
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Worst in-flight grub:
Just about every effort produced out of Brize N for consumption by the self-loading-frieght.
For professionals who have been in the business for years the in-flight grub productions are frankly appauling. I strongly suspect penny-pinching from above as being the prime reason coupled with a staggering lack of imagination.
Best in-flight grub:
The very next meal after Brize's efforts.
Most amusing:
The beautifully cut one centemeter long bits of kit-kat wrapped in yards of cling-film + crisp packet designed to expolde at 20k cabin alt in cruise+mini orange juice carton minus straw (loose article hasard)+sarnies minus butter(flammable whilst chewing in an oxy mask). Oh! the cling-filmed apple was a ****** to get in to as well.
Just about every effort produced out of Brize N for consumption by the self-loading-frieght.
For professionals who have been in the business for years the in-flight grub productions are frankly appauling. I strongly suspect penny-pinching from above as being the prime reason coupled with a staggering lack of imagination.
Best in-flight grub:
The very next meal after Brize's efforts.
Most amusing:
The beautifully cut one centemeter long bits of kit-kat wrapped in yards of cling-film + crisp packet designed to expolde at 20k cabin alt in cruise+mini orange juice carton minus straw (loose article hasard)+sarnies minus butter(flammable whilst chewing in an oxy mask). Oh! the cling-filmed apple was a ****** to get in to as well.
Like many other things, stillin 1, it's just indicative of the change from excellence to bare adequacy which has been going on now for 15+ years.
Where once you had military chefs doing their best to show what they could do, you now have civvie contractors working down to a price.... That said, they're probably doing the best they can in the face of constant cut-backs, as you imply.
Whatever happened to BIG 'Waggon wheels' and 'George's Family Crisps' which we used to get from AKT? Their moussaka was always prety good - as were the chili con carne and Chinese pork. Strange how even in a VC10K2/3 we were able to feed our passengers pretty well, but on a wretched Albert (with the same oven) the same number of pax are either starved or just given the dreaded S1 box!
In fact the folk at ASI are capable of providing some very good in-flight catering - which made the BZN-supplied cack dished out on the southbound Timmy even less palatable. But a quick trip to the Timmy loo with one's illicit hip-flask helped to anaesthetise the journey......allegedly!
Where once you had military chefs doing their best to show what they could do, you now have civvie contractors working down to a price.... That said, they're probably doing the best they can in the face of constant cut-backs, as you imply.
Whatever happened to BIG 'Waggon wheels' and 'George's Family Crisps' which we used to get from AKT? Their moussaka was always prety good - as were the chili con carne and Chinese pork. Strange how even in a VC10K2/3 we were able to feed our passengers pretty well, but on a wretched Albert (with the same oven) the same number of pax are either starved or just given the dreaded S1 box!
In fact the folk at ASI are capable of providing some very good in-flight catering - which made the BZN-supplied cack dished out on the southbound Timmy even less palatable. But a quick trip to the Timmy loo with one's illicit hip-flask helped to anaesthetise the journey......allegedly!
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Most difficult in flight meal to eat was prior to Red Flag Detachment on Jags when we had to practice AAR for hours on end out over the North Sea - you know the scene - take it off the tanker whilst jettisoning it out the back so you didn't fall out of the basket.
Anyway we had asked Colt Mess for a packed lunch to while away the time so having backed off a little way, clenched the contol column between your knees, unwrapped white paper bag to find, among other things, a hard boiled egg still in its shell!!
Anyway we had asked Colt Mess for a packed lunch to while away the time so having backed off a little way, clenched the contol column between your knees, unwrapped white paper bag to find, among other things, a hard boiled egg still in its shell!!
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Beags
Not a good comparision between the Herc and K2/3, Herc has an oven that takes 4 meals at a time requiring at least 20 mins to heat.
90 plus pax down the back, interlocking knees, a trip to the can ensure's that you tread on every person between you and the green curtain and if you want to feed them all a hot meal it would take 7.5 hours, the C130 maybe slower, but it would still mean you could not feed all the SLF, who goes without? The "royals" at the front end?
Most 130 ALM's do their very best to feed the PAX as best they can bless 'em, and their ability to "hit" a pax at 20 yards with a Mk 1 buttie box would impress any quarterback.
Not a good comparision between the Herc and K2/3, Herc has an oven that takes 4 meals at a time requiring at least 20 mins to heat.
90 plus pax down the back, interlocking knees, a trip to the can ensure's that you tread on every person between you and the green curtain and if you want to feed them all a hot meal it would take 7.5 hours, the C130 maybe slower, but it would still mean you could not feed all the SLF, who goes without? The "royals" at the front end?
Most 130 ALM's do their very best to feed the PAX as best they can bless 'em, and their ability to "hit" a pax at 20 yards with a Mk 1 buttie box would impress any quarterback.
bay17-20 - if memory serves, the max no. of pax in VC10K2 was 18 and 17 in a K3.
Galley working space was about 2 ft; however, even as a relief captain working as trolley-tart I managed (with the help of the GE - thanks, JR) to feed everyone 2x3 course hot meals plus appropriate snacks on a 10 hour trip from Ellsworth to Brize. Including the AOC of the day plus his bottom-wiper.
Whereas in the wretched Albert, 18 pax would only get an S1 box - or even 2 (oh, joy...!!). Which would, as you rightly state, probably be thrown at them by the pie-master...
Galley working space was about 2 ft; however, even as a relief captain working as trolley-tart I managed (with the help of the GE - thanks, JR) to feed everyone 2x3 course hot meals plus appropriate snacks on a 10 hour trip from Ellsworth to Brize. Including the AOC of the day plus his bottom-wiper.
Whereas in the wretched Albert, 18 pax would only get an S1 box - or even 2 (oh, joy...!!)
. Which would, as you rightly state, probably be thrown at them by the pie-master...
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Beags, you are reviving memories of trips in the States catered by Dave B......, two packed trollies, three courses, hand prepared salad, choice of sweets, after dinner mints, cool towels for the face, did I dream it, did that world really exist once upon a time?. I think it did and because the food was bought in supermarkets and crew managed it was probably as cheap as contract catering.
Yes - those days really did exist! Plus it was much cheaper than using handling agents, as you say.
But that was before the food-preparation police - and before the stupid rules about who could be trolley-tarts led to pie-masters invading our hallowed world
Nice food on the A330-200 I flew in from Brize last year though
But that was before the food-preparation police - and before the stupid rules about who could be trolley-tarts led to pie-masters invading our hallowed world
Nice food on the A330-200 I flew in from Brize last year though
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Many Moons ago on 53 Sqn Belfasts there was a Loadie called Paddy Kane who used to take on board with him a small bag full of metal cutlery, sauces etc and look after everyone on board without exeption. sadly the old boy is no longer with us and neither is his attitude towards the catering. You could never forget flying with Paddy once you'd had the tap on the shoulder whilst strapped in for the take-off and be handed a brimming hot cup of coffee!
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OC BZN Inflight is my neighbour and would welcome any constructive suggestions. Post away and I'll keep printing the thread for him.....
I, however, am not a caterer; I just eat the stuff.
I, however, am not a caterer; I just eat the stuff.
No longer being in the mob, it wouldn't be appropriate for me to make any suggestions. I'm sure that BZN in-flight continue to do the best they can within the budget allowed....
A couple of observations:
Too many individual items in the S1 box, many of which are never eaten. Fewer, but better perhaps?
Does 'RAF fruit juice' come in any flavour other than orange?
A couple of observations:
Too many individual items in the S1 box, many of which are never eaten. Fewer, but better perhaps?
Does 'RAF fruit juice' come in any flavour other than orange?
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Best:
My first trip on a C-17, coming home from VERITAS out of Seeb via Thumrait. The loadie produced two outstanding hot meals for everyone on board (including us 'self loading freight') -chicken in a red wine sauce I recall?
Worst:
About any S1/Mk1 Butty box you could mention...my heart's racing now just thinking about all the 'E' numbers in the crappy crisps and pop!
CV
My first trip on a C-17, coming home from VERITAS out of Seeb via Thumrait. The loadie produced two outstanding hot meals for everyone on board (including us 'self loading freight') -chicken in a red wine sauce I recall?Worst:
About any S1/Mk1 Butty box you could mention...my heart's racing now just thinking about all the 'E' numbers in the crappy crisps and pop!CV
Scene - a Red Flag many years ago. Exercise Admin Orders required the big aircraft to provide receipts for re-payment from the Det cashier. Us, the VC10 and the Albert had the good idea of catering from Burger King. Fast and cheap.
Det cashier didn't like this. Refused to pay for burgers. We just accepted it, but the C 130 loadie knew the rules and used the 38gp catering instructions as a guide which mentioned that when at USAF airfields it was permissable to order from the local civvie airport. The case mentioned being Nellis where food could be ordered from McCarren.
The next day, the cashier was handed a bill for well over a thousand dollars. Burgers all round after that!
Det cashier didn't like this. Refused to pay for burgers. We just accepted it, but the C 130 loadie knew the rules and used the 38gp catering instructions as a guide which mentioned that when at USAF airfields it was permissable to order from the local civvie airport. The case mentioned being Nellis where food could be ordered from McCarren.
The next day, the cashier was handed a bill for well over a thousand dollars. Burgers all round after that!
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So nothing much has changed then? My kids used to enjoy the Kit-Kat from the AH boxes though and the Cornish pasties full of dogsh!t and bust tickets.
Yours,
Transport Command 1959 through to Whatever Command it became in 1977.
Yours,
Transport Command 1959 through to Whatever Command it became in 1977.
