Top Uas Tips
Ahhhh yes! Those halcyon, booze-fuelled, Tax evading, Soap dodging student days....
Here's a few tips to make your UAS career run that little bit smoother:
1. Don't call the then C in C Strike Command a pr**k because he supports Man Utd - pissed banter does have its limits.
2. Don't return from your Ski Exped with you hair dyed peroxide blonde and then wonder why AVM ****** refuses to have his photo taken with you until you get an 'Officers' haircut.
3. Don't get caught at the Summer Ball running down the runway completely naked save for a viking helmet and expect the rozzers to accept your excuse of, "I took all my clothes off to reduce the risk of FOD" and certainly don't let the rozzers get CCTV footage of it.
4. When the Boss allows you to keep the Sqn Minibus for the weekend to pick up studes from the Train Station, don't take it
on a 36hr tour around Wales. Its pretty hard to explain away the 600miles you put on the clock when the station is 20miles away.
5. When solo, don't do Aeros with the flaps down. Also, make sure that while worrying about the fallout from that incident, you are only feeding from the left tank and come back below minimums on that side. Double Trouble.
6. Declare a birdstrike and come in on a State 2, forcing a few Hawks and a Tornado to depart the circuit when in actual fact it turns out to be a rather large bumble bee.
7. Don't break into the Sqn one night because you are completely pissed and the kebab shops are shut and then proceed to eat the flying rations.
Finally:
8. After a party, make sure all the cigarette ends are put out. Your Boss won't appreciate being called out at 3am to watch his Mess/HQ burn down.
Are there any Red Dragons in the house tonight.....?
Here's a few tips to make your UAS career run that little bit smoother:
1. Don't call the then C in C Strike Command a pr**k because he supports Man Utd - pissed banter does have its limits.
2. Don't return from your Ski Exped with you hair dyed peroxide blonde and then wonder why AVM ****** refuses to have his photo taken with you until you get an 'Officers' haircut.
3. Don't get caught at the Summer Ball running down the runway completely naked save for a viking helmet and expect the rozzers to accept your excuse of, "I took all my clothes off to reduce the risk of FOD" and certainly don't let the rozzers get CCTV footage of it.
4. When the Boss allows you to keep the Sqn Minibus for the weekend to pick up studes from the Train Station, don't take it
on a 36hr tour around Wales. Its pretty hard to explain away the 600miles you put on the clock when the station is 20miles away.
5. When solo, don't do Aeros with the flaps down. Also, make sure that while worrying about the fallout from that incident, you are only feeding from the left tank and come back below minimums on that side. Double Trouble.
6. Declare a birdstrike and come in on a State 2, forcing a few Hawks and a Tornado to depart the circuit when in actual fact it turns out to be a rather large bumble bee.
7. Don't break into the Sqn one night because you are completely pissed and the kebab shops are shut and then proceed to eat the flying rations.
Finally:
8. After a party, make sure all the cigarette ends are put out. Your Boss won't appreciate being called out at 3am to watch his Mess/HQ burn down.
Are there any Red Dragons in the house tonight.....?
I don't care, at least he's got a sense of humour, unlike all you other pimply faced little oiks! Never, ever, let the truth get in the way of a good story!
Golden rule kids
Golden rule kids
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Some more tips...
1. Those lovely (and all too rare) female studes with an eye for their QFI and perhaps a good tick sheet, make sure to stroke the leg of said instructor when throttling up/down
2. Don't cut the mixture on an EFATO instead of lowering RPM
3. Don't cut the mixture on EFDW on the same sortie
4. If the curry last night in the mess comes back to haunt you on GH, request a surprise "Fumes in cockpit" drill to mask the smell
5. Don't fly the wrong way round the circuit, especially if a hawk is downwind
6. Some classic comments...
Stude to QFI: "Do the toe brakes work in the air?"
QFI: "Return me to the level attitude please."
Stude: "Do I have to use the controls?"
QFI: "No trip today since the crosswind is out of limits"
Stude: "Why don't we just have circular runways?"
QFI: "The call is "One, on the break, with intentions""
Stude to ATC: "One, on the break with intentions!"
Hungry
1. Those lovely (and all too rare) female studes with an eye for their QFI and perhaps a good tick sheet, make sure to stroke the leg of said instructor when throttling up/down
2. Don't cut the mixture on an EFATO instead of lowering RPM
3. Don't cut the mixture on EFDW on the same sortie
4. If the curry last night in the mess comes back to haunt you on GH, request a surprise "Fumes in cockpit" drill to mask the smell
5. Don't fly the wrong way round the circuit, especially if a hawk is downwind
6. Some classic comments...
Stude to QFI: "Do the toe brakes work in the air?"
QFI: "Return me to the level attitude please."
Stude: "Do I have to use the controls?"
QFI: "No trip today since the crosswind is out of limits"
Stude: "Why don't we just have circular runways?"
QFI: "The call is "One, on the break, with intentions""
Stude to ATC: "One, on the break with intentions!"
Hungry
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For budding Freshers out there:
Be very careful of the arrival paperwork and medicals - Affects of G on Sperm Motility Survey anyone?
More owning up to jolly japes and wizard wheezes from before initiation ceremonies were "discontinued" please...
Be very careful of the arrival paperwork and medicals - Affects of G on Sperm Motility Survey anyone?
More owning up to jolly japes and wizard wheezes from before initiation ceremonies were "discontinued" please...
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I recently heard the story/rumour of the dog-fighting UAS studes...
When going out to the local area for GH solo's, two UAS students (Unknown Squadron) used to arrange to meet up and simulate dog-fights, switching to an unused frequency to let each other know when they had been 'shot down'.
One day, one of the studes was out in the local area on another GH trip and, spotting a lonely squadron aircraft (Bulldog/Tutor?!), bore down on it to 'engage' it. On settling behind the other aircraft, he thumbed the comm switch and uttered a loud "dagadagadagadaga......"
Unfortunately, it was not his friend who he had 'engaged' but the Squadron Boss who ordered him to vector straight back to the airfield and RV in his office in half an hour.
When asked, "What the
were you playing at out there Bloggs?"
He replied, "Well Sir, I realised I was too close for missiles, so I switched to guns."
Does anyone know if this story is true? And if so what happened to the stude in question?!!
When going out to the local area for GH solo's, two UAS students (Unknown Squadron) used to arrange to meet up and simulate dog-fights, switching to an unused frequency to let each other know when they had been 'shot down'.
One day, one of the studes was out in the local area on another GH trip and, spotting a lonely squadron aircraft (Bulldog/Tutor?!), bore down on it to 'engage' it. On settling behind the other aircraft, he thumbed the comm switch and uttered a loud "dagadagadagadaga......"
Unfortunately, it was not his friend who he had 'engaged' but the Squadron Boss who ordered him to vector straight back to the airfield and RV in his office in half an hour.
When asked, "What the
were you playing at out there Bloggs?"He replied, "Well Sir, I realised I was too close for missiles, so I switched to guns."
Does anyone know if this story is true? And if so what happened to the stude in question?!!
Join Date: Apr 2004
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Zuma, the story is legend, and therefore probably undisputed fact.
While I was at JEFTS in 95, one of the boys on the course ahead of me joined his 'mate' for a tailchase. To his great disappointment, this turned out to be the boss (or the CFI), and he paid heavily for it when he got back - although there was no evidence of the boys meeting for doggers on a pre-arranged freq.
What you don't want to do on your first UAS solo, is forget to remove your thumb from the transmit switch after your white-knuckle 'downwind' call. The reason is that every bit of self-encouragement, such as "come on mate, you can do it", that you give yourself as you patter yourself through your first shabby circuit may be heard by all on freq. You'd also be wise to realise earlier than on the roll-out after your landing. This will prevent you from receiving any banter from your QFI/mates.
It wasn't me, by the way.
While I was at JEFTS in 95, one of the boys on the course ahead of me joined his 'mate' for a tailchase. To his great disappointment, this turned out to be the boss (or the CFI), and he paid heavily for it when he got back - although there was no evidence of the boys meeting for doggers on a pre-arranged freq.
What you don't want to do on your first UAS solo, is forget to remove your thumb from the transmit switch after your white-knuckle 'downwind' call. The reason is that every bit of self-encouragement, such as "come on mate, you can do it", that you give yourself as you patter yourself through your first shabby circuit may be heard by all on freq. You'd also be wise to realise earlier than on the roll-out after your landing. This will prevent you from receiving any banter from your QFI/mates.
It wasn't me, by the way.
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I have to admit to being involved with a couple of other studes in some illegal tailchasing when on summer camp in kent some years ago - we used 123.45 as a 'collector'....
Thats what you get when you have 3 waves of solo GH on a friday afternoon :-)
We didn't get caught luckily
Thats what you get when you have 3 waves of solo GH on a friday afternoon :-)
We didn't get caught luckily
Opportunity Formation
Zuma & Dr Falken
There's nothing new under the sun! Back in 1966 (When Pontious was a young Navigator) two Cranwell students going solo at the same time arranged to indulge in a little "opportunity formation". A third stude was due to takeoff 5 minutes later and expressed a willingness to participate, so an arrangement was made to join up at FL120 over Coningsby. The first two duly departed and when safely out of sight closed up. No3 then took off and climbed to FL140 in the vicinity of Coningsby where he soon spotted a pair of JPs. He slotted neatly into the No3 position and was just settling down when he realised that the other two aircraft were not sporting the Cranwell "ring of confidence" His subsequent explanation that he had had an airmiss with the pair and closed up on them to establish their identity was met with a degree of scepticism. Neither of the JP crews from Manby had any recollection of an airmiss.
The sad postscript is that the of the three studes involved, 2 were killed in accidents within four years, and no,I wasn't the third.
I expect it's all changed now.
YS
Zuma, the story is legend, and therefore probably undisputed fact.
While I was at JEFTS in 95, one of the boys on the course ahead of me joined his 'mate' for a tailchase. To his great disappointment, this turned out to be the boss (or the CFI), and he paid heavily for it when he got back - although there was no evidence of the boys meeting for doggers on a pre-arranged freq.
While I was at JEFTS in 95, one of the boys on the course ahead of me joined his 'mate' for a tailchase. To his great disappointment, this turned out to be the boss (or the CFI), and he paid heavily for it when he got back - although there was no evidence of the boys meeting for doggers on a pre-arranged freq.
The sad postscript is that the of the three studes involved, 2 were killed in accidents within four years, and no,I wasn't the third.
I expect it's all changed now.YS
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SVK
Seems things don't change much with the Red Dragon's. I remember a student who shall remain nameless doing aeros with the flaps down back in the early 80's. The Bulldog concerned then spent a very long time sitting in a hangar. I understand that the same hero did something similar to a Tornado some years later.
There hasn't been a UWAS re-union for some years. The last one was a fairly epic although expensive do largely due to the costs of various repairs that were required afterwards.
Anyone fancy organising another one? Skyrabbit?
Seems things don't change much with the Red Dragon's. I remember a student who shall remain nameless doing aeros with the flaps down back in the early 80's. The Bulldog concerned then spent a very long time sitting in a hangar. I understand that the same hero did something similar to a Tornado some years later.
There hasn't been a UWAS re-union for some years. The last one was a fairly epic although expensive do largely due to the costs of various repairs that were required afterwards.
Anyone fancy organising another one? Skyrabbit?
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The new Plastic Fantastic Teutors have a GPS that transmitts position back to a base station for the benefit of the Q's. I can half imagine they'd notice if several of these blobs found their way to the same spot of airspace... 
(of course, no-one would ever consider pulling the GPS CB and claiming it had just "lost signal", eh?)
(of course, no-one would ever consider pulling the GPS CB and claiming it had just "lost signal", eh?)
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Or better yet take a look at it in action next time you are in the tower. The aircraft position is plotted as a blob and tail reg. over what I think is a civi half-mil, with height, heading, etc reports. It's quite interesting to see what everyone is up to!
ASI
ASI
