Hey Muttley,

Interesting you should bring up the subject of titles. Now I don't know whether this is sheer coincidence or a Freudian slip, but your title spelt backwards is Werc Yelttum, old Gaelic roughly translated meaning 'short, pimpley one.'

Go figure....
:ooh:

...actually you brought up the topic but while we're on it....
 

Funny I was thinking a similar thing, as a friend of mine is Croation.

Dumpvalve, which backwards is close to Evlav Mud, sounds very much like the “enjoyer of ******* ******** ********s” in Croation. Imagine that…!!!

So, um……. do you???

Dumpster!!! You naughty little thing………………!! :eek: ;)






edited because I'm afraid of MontyCarpetBurns and his Ruff n' Tuff talk... also I like this name and am not quite ready to think up a catchy new one yet despite what I told you BB!!! :{

Muttley: There are limits. I think you've exceeded them. Were it not for the anonymous nature of this forum, you'd be lying face down in the street right now.

Mr Muttley,

That Croation friend of yours - obviously comes from Croatio. Is that perhaps close to Slovenio, or maybe Bosnio? Oh sorry, that was an Australian who played goalkeeper for Aston Villa before he indulged in some mind-altering chemicals....

Don't worry, wee all maek spelling miskates form tome to tome!

Hi Dumpster, what are you doing up so late??? Me, I’ve been drinking again!!

Wow… it is generally accepted a s a sine of defeet when one resorts to attacks on late-night and alcohol-influenced spelling and/or keystroke errors.

Still, being a house-wife of Jumeirah-Jane stature is, I’m certain, in no way indicative of your other qualifications and high level of education at SAs finest institutions when we peruse your own standards. For example, and from your very first post on this thread:

“peace and quite”

Spot the deliberate error, you have a 1 in 3 chance of getting it with a guess, Dumpster!! As you can see it took very little effort to find your own first literary tragedy, just in this thread!! Yeah Babeeeee!!!

That munching sound you can all hear is The Dumpster chewing down her own words...

Quite.....


In the meantime, while Dumpster’s sweating on her own blunder, Monty Burns 77 were it not for the anonymous nature of this forum, you’d never have said that!!! Still, since you’re keen, are obviously an idiot and have no idea who I am, I’ll play your game. Meet me down the corner at 10pm tomorrow night and we’ll sort it out like men. If I’m not there by 10:15, start without me… knock yourself out!







PS by the way, I was laying face down in the street earlier.....



PPS chill Monty...... Dumpster can take a joke. Anyway, she's already taken so stop it with all your shallow, chivalrous ideas....





Dumpsterrrrrrr.... I know you snuck back and read this.....
I saaaawwwww yoooooooooooo.... DumpSTER???

First warning to Mutley crew for degrading this game into the darkest depths.....umm,no pun intended! Anyway,currently tied at 1 set all.........new balls please!

M Crew

To all the CROATIANS out there, on behalf of Muttley, I apologize for the error.
It's one thing to make a few grammatical errors now and then, but to misspell an entire nation - not once, but twice! Tsk, tsk, I don't know whether I'll ever be able to take you with a pinch of salt again....

Re the 'dubious pleasures' thing - c'mon, I know a person of your undoubted literary talent doesn't need to resort to gutter humour of that kind - as your kindergarten teacher told you last year - you CAN do better!

oooh.......what a start to the 3rd set.....an ace from dumpvalve!

Dumpster!! I knew you'd be back!

Now listen, your little errors interest me, not. I was merely pointing out you are not the genius you are attempting to roast me for not being.

You made me "chukkle". I have to be careful lest I be "temporary banned" again. But I'm going off at a "tangent" now...

But Dumpster, I don't remember using a pinch of salt last time? Wouldn't that have stung????

Hey someone with as much free time as you should be able to do better than picking on a typo. You're making me stoop to your level. Was that your cunning plan all along?

Ah, sweet victory.

:ok:

well returned MC. 15 all!..................aargh.......poor light stops play.Will resume tomorrow!

You know youve been in the middle east too long when:

Your house staff make more than you do.

your arab best friend is always round your house,

and your wife has a new gold rolex.

or for the bachelors

you start to believe the sexy bird with the east european accent really does love you.bald head , fat belly and all. (and thats just her):}

look dumps no reference to ek so you can put your chip in the cupboard next to mine.

Let's face it Motley One, sparring with you is like shooting fish in a barrel - did I touch a nerve? Why so sensitive?

Me? I've never alluded to being anything special intellectually, but at least I don't resort to cheap sexual innuendo every time I'm confronted. Surely that's the domain of adolescents in boarding school?

PS. 'tangent' - I know it's a big word, but check it out, it's in the dictionary.

PPS. Dicksy, welcome back!

Rumour has it
 

Dumpvalve in the good old days before 4holerpoler was having heart flutters at the flash of an ankle, Janes would take off for the 3 months summer jaunt with their brats.
Leaving poor old hubby with the freezer full of steak & kidney pies they get a bit boring after the 3rd day!

With the advent of the Cyclone, York Hotel, Jockeys, Thank God its Fridays, Admiral, Spinneys coffe shop ( near the Ramada) Jules Bar (if you are that way inclined). That sheepish look when dragging the shopping basket around spinneys might not just be oh how lonely I am!!!!!

Most Janes dont leave him alone in Dxb for too long now with all the home comforts that Dxb can offer! Also EK stopovers (JNB) what was it a girlfriend in every port! Fat old and bold who cares!!!!

You know you’ve been in the Middle East too long when:

1. Your wife confesses she will have “veddy big problem” ever being able to pick up a mop again back in the real world.
2. you “chukkle” and agree that it shouldn’t ever be a problem.
3. You find yourself giving the wife the odd “love-slap”, in the local style, just to get your point across.
4. You see nothing wrong with this.
5. You insist your wife walks about 10 feet behind you. (Unless you're on holiday in Afghanistan, then it's 50 feet IN FRONT)
6. Your wife spends more time on PPRUNE than you do.
7. Net-surfing pilots talk about some irritating bag on the net and you’re too embarrassed to admit it’s yours.
8. 14 years no longer seems that much of an age difference when you meet a keen, new eastern European Air Hostess on your crew.
9. Late 30s to early 40s does seem rather old when you look sideways at the tired old bag spending all your dough and nagging you.
10. Your wife comes home, suspiciously, from the 3-month break after just 4 weeks “just to check how you are, Dear…”
11. The place doesn’t look like much cleaning has been done by the maid for about, oh, 4 weeks (apart from maybe a little polishing).
12. She finds the maid’s G-strings in her underwear drawer and her own crap on the floor of the maid’s quarters.
13. All the other baby-clasping wives in the “compound” say nothing whenever you walk past but glare at you from their toy-strewn huddle two driveways down the lane.
14. Their husbands (your mates) are growled at for talking to you and have to slink off trying to hide that slight feeling of envy.
15. You no longer care that you’re getting fatter and closer to baldness because you can pull chicks you’d never even think of back in the real world.
16. They greet you by name at Cyclone and have your table ready.
17. FOs bid not to fly with you because their livers can't hack the pace anymore.
18. The fast-food delivery guys know your voice on the phone and "usual" order.

Did I miss anything?








Jokes everyone, just JOKES!!

:ok:

Actually,trimotor,MC is correct on point 16.......they do have tables at Cyclones! I always book one under the name of Bond...james Bond.seems to add to the surrealism of the place and very appropriate with pussy galore!;)

As always amazed by people's ability to completely misconstrue an obviously humouros post.

Dumpvalve, you had me in tears! As much as it P####D me off when I was there reading all that does make me miss the place quite a bit.

The most memorable part for me? "No no sir, very very sorry. Al Maktoum Bridge closed - we go by Garhoud Bridge instead". NO WE DON'T, MATE!!!! Maktoum is open AND costs me 7 Dirhams less!!!!:*

Always trying it on, Dubai cabbies. GRRRRRRRRRRRR!:E

So, you find domestic abuse funny eh? Says a great deal, yet again. Smack many women about do you MC?

Domestic abuse is not funny. Especially as it sounds like eal is a battered husband. (“He just DOESN’T listen to me…” –Eal’s wife)

The wife been butch-slapping you again hey mate??

What do you say to an eal with two black eyes? Nothing he’s already been told twice. Eal you can find help at this site! Now get back in the kitchen!



PS Battered husband... not to be confused with a battered sav.

Muttley, you have to be the most offence piece of rubbish on this forum.

No, I am not "battered" husband, but I don't make "jokes" about slapping women, you do.

However, if you had said any of the above to my face, I'd have been happy to assist in booking your stay at the intensive care unit of your choice.

Can we get back on track abusing people in the middle east please:}

eal401, pull your head out of your arse and get a sense of humour. wife slappin is a fact in the gulf so its fair game to make black humour of it. it doesnt mean its being advocated.
god, no wonder we need crm.

by the way my icu is wythenshawe, so if you want to meet me there after school. bring your dad as mine is harder than yours.

and dont tell sir.

not a battered husband.....yet. me and my mates from year 6 will change that.