Sorry Monty Python...
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Join Date: Apr 2007
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Sorry Monty Python...
....you are just made redundant by EK Management!!
With an unprecedented timing known in modern comedy they produced the best punch line ever!
After basically freezing hiring, they announced the new post of
...drum roll....
VP-Recruitment
and the encore: the VP-Network control (formerly known as SMNC) will be headed by a new SVP-NCC...
Keep discovering
With an unprecedented timing known in modern comedy they produced the best punch line ever!
After basically freezing hiring, they announced the new post of
...drum roll....
VP-Recruitment
and the encore: the VP-Network control (formerly known as SMNC) will be headed by a new SVP-NCC...
Keep discovering
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Does this sound familiar? Add/delete "EK" when and where you think the most appropriate in the narrative.
An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be. The Japanese team won by a mile.
Afterwards, the American team became discouraged by the loss and their morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team of "Executives" was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action. Their conclusion: The problem was that the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, whereas the American team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering.
The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure. After some time and billions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that "too many people were steering and not enough rowing." To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the management structure was changed to "4 Steering Managers, 3 Area Steering Managers, and 1 Staff Steering Manager" and a new performance system for the person rowing the boat to give more incentive to work harder and become a six sigma performer. "We must give him empowerment and enrichment." That ought to do it.
The next year the Japanese team won by two miles. The American Corporation laid off the rower for poor performance, sold all of the paddles, cancelled all capital investments for new equipment, halted development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards to the consulting firm, and distributed the money saved as bonuses to the senior executives.
Afterwards, the American team became discouraged by the loss and their morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team of "Executives" was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action. Their conclusion: The problem was that the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, whereas the American team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering.
The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure. After some time and billions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that "too many people were steering and not enough rowing." To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the management structure was changed to "4 Steering Managers, 3 Area Steering Managers, and 1 Staff Steering Manager" and a new performance system for the person rowing the boat to give more incentive to work harder and become a six sigma performer. "We must give him empowerment and enrichment." That ought to do it.
The next year the Japanese team won by two miles. The American Corporation laid off the rower for poor performance, sold all of the paddles, cancelled all capital investments for new equipment, halted development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards to the consulting firm, and distributed the money saved as bonuses to the senior executives.
Join Date: Apr 2000
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Nah Wiley, you've got wrong. They sacked the lone rower for "stealing from the company" by taking one day in eight off.
If they do start laying people off, it will be interesting to see what paramenters they use to make the culling.
- Age?
- Time in company (ie, the more senior you are, the bigger your pay packet, so more money saved per head lopped)?
- Number of sick days taken?
- Number of kids? (Savings to be made in education allowance and medical costs.)
The possibilities are endless.
Me myself personally, if they published an offer with a decent slice of redundancy pay thrown in, I might be tempted, because I'm getting heartily sick of the place, (which may their grand plan).
With the ADs and limited strings of days off, we're being treated like we're kids. The way things are going, all too soon we'll be lining up for the bloody cane from "sir" for misdemeanours, (real or imagined) that we are deemed to have committed. Two engined taxi? Four of the best. Max reverse? Six.
If they do start laying people off, it will be interesting to see what paramenters they use to make the culling.
- Age?
- Time in company (ie, the more senior you are, the bigger your pay packet, so more money saved per head lopped)?
- Number of sick days taken?
- Number of kids? (Savings to be made in education allowance and medical costs.)
The possibilities are endless.
Me myself personally, if they published an offer with a decent slice of redundancy pay thrown in, I might be tempted, because I'm getting heartily sick of the place, (which may their grand plan).
With the ADs and limited strings of days off, we're being treated like we're kids. The way things are going, all too soon we'll be lining up for the bloody cane from "sir" for misdemeanours, (real or imagined) that we are deemed to have committed. Two engined taxi? Four of the best. Max reverse? Six.
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RH is still there. AW is the second VP recruitment. While AW herself is a cool camper, the irony is: There is currently ZERO recruitment. In all other departments, vacant positions will not be filled. Already agreed promotions are frozen on X-1 indef. There is a growing desyncronization between the ivory tower and the troops, which will hurt the airline BIG time as soon as people will start finding jobs outside again.
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Short sighted...
Therein lies the sad fact that once the industry improves, and it will, just a matter of time, the bad blood that has been drawn will be remembered.
Will they have issues getting warm bodies into the empty seats (either in the bouncy castle or the planes), I doubt it, but the quality of the people will be that much lower. All the good ones would have left for something better.
The senior management doesn't give a hoot for sure, they are close enough to retirement to see it, thus when the **** hits the fan, it will be up to the ones left to pick up the pieces.
Will they have issues getting warm bodies into the empty seats (either in the bouncy castle or the planes), I doubt it, but the quality of the people will be that much lower. All the good ones would have left for something better.
The senior management doesn't give a hoot for sure, they are close enough to retirement to see it, thus when the **** hits the fan, it will be up to the ones left to pick up the pieces.
