Dubai, the best place to live
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Join Date: Jan 2001
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Dubai, the best place to live
This following extract is taken from an American who moved to Dubai earlier this year….
April 30th:
Just got transferred to work and live in beautiful Dubai, UAE! WOW!!! Now this is a city that knows how to live!!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. It’s like New York City minus all the crooks, murderers and drunks. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on my beautiful bedroom verandah. It was beautiful. I’ve finally found my home. I love it here.
May 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 95 degrees today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car, and everything is fully air-conditioned. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I’m turning into a sum worshipper.
May 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today around our lovely pool. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here. Heat is no problem at all.
June 10th:
The temperature hasn’t been below 95 all week, even during the night. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it’s kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
July 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 90% of my body. Missed 5 days of work. What a dumb thing to do in this lovely city. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol’ sun in a climate like this.
July 20th:
Kitty (our cat) sneaked into the car when I left for the office. By the time I got to the hot car for my lunch break, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $60 000 Audi. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat ****te. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant f...ing hair dryer in here!! And it’s hot as hell. The home air-conditioner died. The f...ing AC repairman charged 500 Dirhams just to drive over and tell me it was broken in f...ing Hindu/English or some language that I couldn’t understand.
July30th:
Air conditioner still broken. Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now because it is 7000 f...ing degrees inside. Bloody 2,000,000 Dirhams house and we can’t even go inside. Why did I ever come here? F..k the sun. F..k the wind. F..k the freakin’ ocean. And f...ing locals walk around dressed in white tablecloths followed by little black female ninjas. F...ing crazy town.
August 4th:
It’s 114 f...ing degrees today. Finally got the ol’ air-conditioner fixed. It cost 2,000 f...ing Dirhams and got the temperature down to 25, but the f...ing humidity makes the house feel 30 f...ing Dubai degrees. Stupid terrorist repairman. I hate this stupid f...ing place.
August 8th:
If another local wiseass cracks, “Hot enough for you today?” I’m going to f...ing whack him all the way back to his goddamn desert. F...ing Dubai; by the time I get to work with all that f...ing traffic and heat, the car’s radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like a baked cat!!!
August 9th:
Tried to run some errands today because it is f...ing Friday. Wore shorts and sat on the black leather seats in my Audi. The seat was so f...ing hot I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my f...ing ass. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass and baked cat.
August 10th:
The weather report might as well be a f...ing recording. Hot, humid and f...ing sunny. Hot, humid and f...ing sunny. Hot, humid and f...ing sunny. It’s been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman dude wearing the f...ing white tablecloth on TV says it might really warm up next week. Does it ever rain in this damn f...ing place? What is next, a f...ing hell freezing over wave?
August 14th:
WELCOME TO HELL!!! Temperature got to 120 today. Now the air-conditioner’s gone in my f...ing Audi. The f...ing Audi serviceman said, “Hot enough for you today?” F..k him and f..k Audi. My wife had to spend the 7,000 Dirham to bail my ass out of jail for assaulting that stupid f..king Paki bastard wiseass. F..k Dubai! What kind of a sick demented f...ing idiot would want to live in this ****te hole?
August 15th:
F..k this place. I’m off back to New York.
Does this sound familiar to some people?????
April 30th:
Just got transferred to work and live in beautiful Dubai, UAE! WOW!!! Now this is a city that knows how to live!!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. It’s like New York City minus all the crooks, murderers and drunks. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on my beautiful bedroom verandah. It was beautiful. I’ve finally found my home. I love it here.
May 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 95 degrees today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car, and everything is fully air-conditioned. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I’m turning into a sum worshipper.
May 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today around our lovely pool. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here. Heat is no problem at all.
June 10th:
The temperature hasn’t been below 95 all week, even during the night. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it’s kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
July 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 90% of my body. Missed 5 days of work. What a dumb thing to do in this lovely city. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol’ sun in a climate like this.
July 20th:
Kitty (our cat) sneaked into the car when I left for the office. By the time I got to the hot car for my lunch break, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $60 000 Audi. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat ****te. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant f...ing hair dryer in here!! And it’s hot as hell. The home air-conditioner died. The f...ing AC repairman charged 500 Dirhams just to drive over and tell me it was broken in f...ing Hindu/English or some language that I couldn’t understand.
July30th:
Air conditioner still broken. Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now because it is 7000 f...ing degrees inside. Bloody 2,000,000 Dirhams house and we can’t even go inside. Why did I ever come here? F..k the sun. F..k the wind. F..k the freakin’ ocean. And f...ing locals walk around dressed in white tablecloths followed by little black female ninjas. F...ing crazy town.
August 4th:
It’s 114 f...ing degrees today. Finally got the ol’ air-conditioner fixed. It cost 2,000 f...ing Dirhams and got the temperature down to 25, but the f...ing humidity makes the house feel 30 f...ing Dubai degrees. Stupid terrorist repairman. I hate this stupid f...ing place.
August 8th:
If another local wiseass cracks, “Hot enough for you today?” I’m going to f...ing whack him all the way back to his goddamn desert. F...ing Dubai; by the time I get to work with all that f...ing traffic and heat, the car’s radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like a baked cat!!!
August 9th:
Tried to run some errands today because it is f...ing Friday. Wore shorts and sat on the black leather seats in my Audi. The seat was so f...ing hot I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my f...ing ass. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass and baked cat.
August 10th:
The weather report might as well be a f...ing recording. Hot, humid and f...ing sunny. Hot, humid and f...ing sunny. Hot, humid and f...ing sunny. It’s been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman dude wearing the f...ing white tablecloth on TV says it might really warm up next week. Does it ever rain in this damn f...ing place? What is next, a f...ing hell freezing over wave?
August 14th:
WELCOME TO HELL!!! Temperature got to 120 today. Now the air-conditioner’s gone in my f...ing Audi. The f...ing Audi serviceman said, “Hot enough for you today?” F..k him and f..k Audi. My wife had to spend the 7,000 Dirham to bail my ass out of jail for assaulting that stupid f..king Paki bastard wiseass. F..k Dubai! What kind of a sick demented f...ing idiot would want to live in this ****te hole?
August 15th:
F..k this place. I’m off back to New York.
Does this sound familiar to some people?????
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: 3rd rock from the sun
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bwahaha. funny post. everything sounds accurate except the "AUDI" should be more like "Mercedes Benz". My 10-year old A4 never had AC trouble even with temps similar to Dubai's.
Repapips pare ko "Pom" means British people.
Repapips pare ko "Pom" means British people.
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Bespin
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This story is similar to the cuban guy that moves from Miami to Pittsburgh, to scape from the humid heat of south Florida, and "enjoy" the snow and cool climate....and heard from Cuban comic Alvarez Guedez is even funnier!!!!
Ahh...the snow....beautiful....white....cold....Lovely!!!
Three months later.........F***k the snow!!!! I'm going back to Miami!!!
Cheers!
Ahh...the snow....beautiful....white....cold....Lovely!!!
Three months later.........F***k the snow!!!! I'm going back to Miami!!!
Cheers!
Join Date: Aug 2007
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Enjoy it guys. You WILL get used to the heat & that's a fact. Just do what we do & kepp a very very very low profile during summer. Otherwise enjoy the wx now cos it's the best anywhere. BBQ time. Yeeeehaaaaaa
Join Date: Nov 2005
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LR 3 cool down mate. No malignancy here. It's just a good reading. Actually great. My stomach hurts yet. Man, what a good laugh. To all dudes in the sand pit 
and have a few rounds well chilled beer. 
and have a few rounds well chilled beer.
