How our Managers get to the top.
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Middle E
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How our Managers get to the top.
Ever wondered how your VP, EVP etc got into the position in the first place. Well in our demanding times the solution is to give more than 100%. This is how they do it.
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bull**** and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bull**** and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.
Join Date: Aug 2000
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Now that's the sort of maths equation even I can understand! AND the added benefit is that it's pretty much spot on form what I've seen!!
Thanks for that!! I'll have another go at that "tough" sudoku puzzle now, with my new found mathematical skill!
Cheers...enjoyed the laugh.
CTOAN
Thanks for that!! I'll have another go at that "tough" sudoku puzzle now, with my new found mathematical skill!
Cheers...enjoyed the laugh.
CTOAN
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Luton
Age: 59
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Sudoku? Now you're talking! I could not stand doing only one puzzle a day in the Gulf news Tabloid section. So I got the special Carol Vorderman edition! It's got over 200 puzzles and a sexy picture of the woman on the front. Brains and beauty? A rare treat if you can get it!! 
Oh, almost forgot to mention, in response to the original post, I laughed so much! Almost as good a read as the Caravan Scrolls!! Now they seem to have been re-discovered by a whole new 'generation'!!
Oh, almost forgot to mention, in response to the original post, I laughed so much! Almost as good a read as the Caravan Scrolls!! Now they seem to have been re-discovered by a whole new 'generation'!!
