That first **** of the day

[Slasher]

Id've post this in the Medical forum - but I'll end up a bloody
hypochondriac if I go there anymore. Besides....I think JB'ers
would be more qualified and experienced to answer.

I've always taken a satisfying massive dump every morning I
can recall, usually within 20 mins after waking up. It brings
tears to me eyes (something akin to what a knee-trembler is
in masturbatory circles) and so I start the day in quite a good
mood as a result.

Problem is for the past month there's been no usual dump of
massive proportions which brings tears to the eyes - merely
a few solid lumps which have to be backed out with quite a
bit of force, and not just the relaxation of the sphincters as is
with my normal morning crapping habits.

Now...what's strange about all this is there's been absolutely
no change in my diet, and I still guzzle plenty of water every
day. A quick inspection of the toilet bowl reveals no change in
the turd colour but only in texture - and a very severe lack of
slop factor (iso of them being like mashed up brown porridge
they're almost as solid as tree branches!)

My afternoon matinee ****s are all quite normal - a semi solid
lump or two and little effort. Just that my morning visits are
way off the mark and I dunno why.

I am not gonna run off to the quack as there's nothing to be
concerned about - no bleeding, internal pain etc. But I am a
little worried as I can't explain it away. Is there anyone here
who could maybe tell me WTF is going on? Thanks.

[Ancient Mariner]

I should have known better.
Per

[GANNET FAN]

Check out Diverticulitis, as a possibility

[Vercingetorix]

Slash

there's been absolutely no change in my diet, and I still guzzle plenty of water every
day

Two thoughts:
1. It might be an age thing
or, more likely
2. A lack of beer thing.

Hope it all works out in the end!

[Takan Inchovit]

You might need some bacteria, throw a couple of cubes of fetta in your next salad.

[DX Wombat]

I am not gonna run off to the quack as there's nothing to be
concerned about - no bleeding, internal pain etc.

Slasher, I shall put this very politely but I am VERY serious. DO NOT BE SUCH AN IDIOT - GET TO THE DOCTOR! If possible take a specimen with you. It may well be something innoccuous but if by some chance it isn't then the sooner it is treated the better. There are a lot of people around who have regretted not going to the doctor. You are not a doctor and, as far as I'm aware, not medically trained so you are not in a position to decide if there is nothing to worry about. Report back here when you have seen your doctor. Remember, failure to go to your doctor will result in a serious nagging campaign and arrangements will be made for Mrs S to play that video relentlessly until you do. GO! NOW!

[Slasher]

Looks like its been gone and dumped (so to speak) in the
Medical forum anyway. Oh well - I'll have to just make do.

Check out Diverticulitis

Looks like a bunch of malformed feet!



Thanks for that Gannet but no I'm not displaying any of those
symptoms.

Yeh I'm thinking its an age thing too Verce but it happened
all of a sudden just over month ago. Age things tend to only
slowly creep up and not a sudden "in yer face" thing. Think
I'll look into what Inch suggested - with my rabbit food diet
I just might be lacking in colon bugs and get the missus to
throw in some fetta.

Table you know that clarity and succinctness are my bestest
virtues!

DX and Ovation - its just a sudden change in morning turds.
There is absolutely no pain nor symptoms of any kind in any
way whatsoever, which is why I haven't been to the quack.

And as I mentioned my arvo craps are completely normal. Do
you guys really think I should go see one? I will have a crack
tonight at the fetta first and see what happens.

Anyway thanks for replies so far.

[GANNET FAN]

Slash, I'm not a doctor but my son who is in Korea teaching has just gone through the Diverticulitis route with Ct scans and was cleared of that. Next was a a colonoscopy (had me in hysterics when described) and was declared to have IBS Irritiable Bowel Syndrome which you might want to explore as well.

Good luck!!!

[1DC]

On the other hand Slash, if you aren't getting it all out in the morning, you will probably be full of **** in a fortnight.
Trip to the Doc wouldn't do any harm, more qualified people than you and I are giving you that advice..

[Slasher]

Ok fair enough - but let me try recolonising the bacteria with
some smelly cheese first and then we'll see. With my present
diet its quite possible Inch has something there.

[DX Wombat]

Slasher, you have had a month in which it could have sorted itself out. That is more than enough time. Stop messing about and get to the doctor. Forget all the nonsensical claptrap about re-colonising your bowel, the only time it might make any sense is after a course of antibiotics. Research has shown that all this drink-a-tub-of-yoghurt-a-day malarky is just that. You have been eating your normal diet of many years standing and something has changed with the inner workings and THAT needs proper attention. So, until all is proved to be normal you have to regard it as abnormal and no matter how embarrassing the subject you need to get to your doctor. Stop procrastinating.
A little tale from a Consultant Surgeon (now retired) giving us a lecture on problems of the urinary tract. "What", he said, "would you rather have, painful or painless mictirition?" He opted for painful as it had less association with malignancies. That is NOT to say that painless problems mean something is malignant.

[Genghis the Engineer]

Any changes in exercise patterns? A marked increase or decrease in mine often modify my bowel movement patterns and comfort.

G

[mad_jock]

Sushi has that effect on me.

I usually cure it with a gallon of strongbow cider and then sticking a dirty great donner kebab on top of that.

[Bad medicine]

Righto....change in bowel habit with no obvious cause....Go to your doctor.

As this has no real relationship to aviation......click.