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-   -   When is it time to say goodbye? (https://www.pprune.org/jet-blast/598512-when-time-say-goodbye.html)

G-CPTN 18th Aug 2017 22:33

When is it time to say goodbye?
With the (inevitable) departure of Brucie at the grand old age of 89 (inevitable because nobody lives forever), how do others view their ultimate demise?
Almost 30 years ago I was convinced that I was facing sudden imminent death (ie I was surprised when the ambulance reached the hospital and I was declared to have a healthy heart), having travelled on blues and twos with oxygen.
Following major surgery I was 'renewed' and now I am 'average for my age', but resigned to the fact that I have accomplished my three-score-years-and-ten.
I have procreated successfully and my children have also procreated successfully, so I consider that my job is done.
I am not morbid, nor do I have burning desire to accelerate the process.
I read the obituaries to ascertain whether I am listed, and carry on if I don't appear.
I appreciate that there are people on PPRuNe who have significant life-threatening conditions (which I no longer do), and my sympathy is with you.

For the rest of you, who, like me are in the twilight zone, what is your attitude for the next 20 years?
Are you working on your bucket list?

treadigraph 18th Aug 2017 22:44

You are twenty years older than me Mr Captain, 70 is the new 50. Believe it. You aint old. I'm not...

Ogre 18th Aug 2017 22:44

With the way the world appears to be going at the moment I will continue doing what I'm doing until I get lynched for not being enthusiatic enough about the latest minority....

Seriously though, I lived through the Cold War without too much concern about imminent fiery death, but I'm concerned that the next decade or two will result in some serious civil wars / extremist political parties in power / drives towards ideals which are not sustainable (most likely from the aforementioned extremist political parties) / and a global focus on "me and what I want" rather than the greater good.

I've already ticked off some of my bucket list and the rest of it isn't too long (I'm easily pleased), I'll play it by ear from now on.

RedhillPhil 18th Aug 2017 22:56

It's alright saying that seventy is the new fifty but my seventy years and ten months old wife is off to meet her maker at Treswithian Downs Crem on Monday.
Bastard bloody Cancer.

G-CPTN 18th Aug 2017 22:57

Originally Posted by Ogre (Post 9866095)
I lived through the Cold War without too much concern about imminent fiery death.

October 1962 was pretty scary, having been educated on nuclear matters during the Air Training Corps lectures in the mid 1950s.

My sincere commiserations, RedhillPhil.

treadigraph 18th Aug 2017 23:05

So very sorry to hear that Phil. Cancer is a total bastard.

Nigerian Expat Outlaw 18th Aug 2017 23:12

Ogre, I'm with you. Having survived cancer, small bowel blockage and malnutrition here I am at the tender age of 58 with two sons and two grandchildren having lived and worked all over the world and starting to think I've done my bit. I'm also easily pleased.

However despite my extensive travels I didn't taken time to explore my own country; so that's what I'm doing until anarchy/lawlessness and general disrespect makes it unsafe.

All the plans for my goodbye are in place; Power of Attorney, will, what will happen as I'm pushed into the oven, the lot. Best to plan in advance.

Phil, my thoughts are truly with you.


G-CPTN 18th Aug 2017 23:16

Originally Posted by treadigraph (Post 9866110)
Cancer is a total bastard.

Agreed - we recently lost my wife's youngest sister at 56 - who I first met when she was aged 14.
To me, an aspect of her was still that 14-year old.

SARF 18th Aug 2017 23:37

Stop,being old you,old tarts. Live life then die and do a Bowie. Hospital cremation, job done.. no,funeral. Life moves,on. Just as it did when we were all twenty

ExSp33db1rd 19th Aug 2017 00:03

You could be run down by a white van next time you walk over London Bridge.

Tankertrashnav 19th Aug 2017 00:12

Really sorry to hear that Phil, you have my genuine sympathy.

I must admit I do get slightly annoyed at all those smug 70 somethings who are lucky enough to enjoy good health who say that we should all be rushing around doing white water rafting and bungee jumping etc. I rather agree with G-CPTN's view of the matter - we've had our turn and done the best we could, we shouldn't moan that it's someone else's turn now.

ChrisVJ 19th Aug 2017 00:37

Having preserved the genes, done all sorts of wonderful things and reached the three score and ten and then a couple I am not too worried about being dead so much as the means of getting there.

On the other hand knowing that the members of my paternal family who survived their wars all lived into their nineties I think, "Well, if I have to do another twenty years here I might as well get on with something interesting."

goudie 19th Aug 2017 09:42

Commiserations to you Phil. I have two friends who recently lost their wives to cancer. My wife is in the last stages of Alzheimer's disease and watching her slowly fade away over the last three years has been very distressing. The only consolation is that she is well cared for.
For myself I've survived cancer and am in reasonably good health. Not worried about dying, what' the point. Just hope it's not too painful

RedhillPhil 19th Aug 2017 11:46

Thank-you all for your kind thoughts. Ameral was one of the "never had a days illness in her life" brigade and was going to live for ever.

Loose rivets 19th Aug 2017 13:20

Phil, so sorry to read your post. I'm seeing so many of my contemporaries depart, often leaving a loving partner. Knowing the inevitability doesn't really help when the time comes.

Danny42C 19th Aug 2017 14:00

Phil and goudie,

My sympathy to you both. On Monday a year ago, my Iris slipped peacefully away - we'd been married for 61 years. She was seven years younger than I - it wasn't supposed to be this way.

goudie, your case must've been even worse - my brother in law went the Alzheimers way last year: it was terrible for his wife, "losing" him in a kind of dreadful slow motion, with no hope of recovery.

But: "You know not the date nor the hour". Just carry on - you can do no other.


funfly 19th Aug 2017 14:57

I'm with SARE on this.
I don't mind when I die although I am not wishing it on myself. I have made sure my wife is looked after and am quite sure that when I am dead I won't know anything about it anyway - as long as it doesn't hurt. In case it does start to hurt I would like a magic pill to put an end to it all.
It has been said that "Nature rewards us for putting up with our life by giving us an everlasting dreamless sleep" and I am quite comfortable about this.
Why worry about what will happen after you are dead - did you ever worry about what happened before you were born?
I do know how some of you feel as I lost my last and well loved wife when she was 54 years old. My consolation is that she knows nothing about it.
Anyone who dies at any age, child or old person, knows nothing about it, it is the ones who are left who suffer.

Pontius Navigator 19th Aug 2017 15:05

Have out lived my father and grandfather (paternal side) now set my sights on my GGGF who did 83. After that my GGF who did 92.

Sir Niall Dementia 19th Aug 2017 15:20


You've been on borrowed time since about 1941! When you eventually pop off to valhalla you will at least know that the borrowed time was never wasted.

I've stared the Reaper in the eyes a couple of times, and while death doesn't bother me (much) the way I go does. It seems that as science has improved longevity the methods of going have got worse. Currently have a close friend with advanced Parkinsons, lost someone else to motor-neurone disease and know someone else with it.

My grandfather was relaxing with brandy and cigar after a good lunch when he suddenly stood up, said "shit! that hurt" and died from an aortic aneurism at the age of 92. He was gone in the time it took me to cross the room. My father died horribly from cancer. I'd like to go in a huge crash in a Gypsy Moth on a green English airfield in high summer, at the age of 103, but I suspect that may not happen.

However it comes, I'd like a little dignity left, a woodland burial with a walnut tree over me so that in 100 years a top class gunsmith can use the walnut to make beautiful gun stocks. (The last bit is actually in my will)

For those of you who have lost, and are losing loved ones my thoughts go to you, and I hope that although you may find yourselves alone, you are never lonely.


Loose rivets 19th Aug 2017 15:34

goudie, sorry to not have included you as per Danny's post.

The OP asked a question close to my heart right now. I survived prostate cancer some years ago but am losing my battle with depression.

I can walk miles. Climb stairs like they're not there. Follow the PhD input on Quora about astrophysics, though it has to be said that while I'm doing that I'm just hiding my head in the sand. Lost in the stars. Longing to be in some kind of reality where everything makes sense. Not one thing about this part of my life does that.

I've just erased the next three paragraphs; they'd come under the heading of Agony Aunt and we're forbidden any such forum. Just as well, I prefer to make friends chuckle . . .

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