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The really really boring and totaly pointless snippets of information thread

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The really really boring and totaly pointless snippets of information thread

Old 22nd Aug 2003, 04:28
  #1241 (permalink)  

Cut & Paste Intellectual
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Durham UK
Posts: 114
I went into my local tonight and said to the rather attractive girl serving behind the bar:

I AM MAXIMUS MERIDAS, GENERAL OF THE FELIX REGIMENT OF THE ROMAN ARMY AND SERVANT TO THE EMPEROR MARCUS AURELIUS!

I AM FATHER TO A MURDERED SON AND HUSBAND TO A MURDERED WIFE AND LANDLORD TO A MURDERED WORLD -- AND I WILL HAVE VENGEANCE!

I was dismissively ignored and I bought a lager shandy and a packet of crisps.
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Old 22nd Aug 2003, 04:37
  #1242 (permalink)  
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My local is always full of Emperor Commodus yes men and off duty Pretorian Guard as well, you would not get any joy here either.
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Old 22nd Aug 2003, 05:00
  #1243 (permalink)  
 
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Crikey Drapes - it must be something in the air. I've had Frosty the Snowman (Ronnettes version) running through my head all day. What's going on? We should be told...
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Old 22nd Aug 2003, 05:02
  #1244 (permalink)  

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I went into Littlewoods to buy some bonsai trees, but all they had was pot pourri with pine cones.
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Old 22nd Aug 2003, 05:19
  #1245 (permalink)  
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I suggest we all put our tinfoil caps on and wear them even during the day, thanks for the input spork, I have now worked out that they are going to land in Louisiana during the winter.


Go to Woollworths singapore girl, their bonsai trees are much bigger.

Last edited by tony draper; 22nd Aug 2003 at 05:41.
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Old 22nd Aug 2003, 05:47
  #1246 (permalink)  

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Arrow

Sorry Drapes - the correct answer was:

Vengeance is off tonight sir, but we have it on the good authority of Lucius Aelius Aurelius Commodus, sitting in the corner supping a vintage Old Monk's Ale, that although no two breweries are alike, the basic principles of brewing are the same everywhere. The product of the mashtun, the brew kettle and the fermenting vessel bring a totally pointless and really, really boring thread to life. Therefore, can I interest you in a delightful and refreshing Pilsner?

Where's "fred" and why is he boring and pointless?
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Old 22nd Aug 2003, 06:50
  #1247 (permalink)  
I'll mak siccar
 
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Keep your mind on your driving, keep your hands on the wheel,
keep your snoopy eyes on the road ahead.
We're having fun sitting in the back seat
kissin' and a huggin' with Fred!"
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Old 22nd Aug 2003, 07:09
  #1248 (permalink)  
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Oh! I remember that song from Two Way Family Favourites,Mr Davvar, it used to be on the wireless on a sunday, we had wireless's then, not radios, and joints of real beef the size of Range Rovers roasting in the oven.
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Old 22nd Aug 2003, 07:16
  #1249 (permalink)  
I'll mak siccar
 
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Just for you, then, Mr D, here is the rest of it:

De-do-de-do-dum
De-do-de-do-dum
De-do-de-dum-dum-do!
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Old 22nd Aug 2003, 07:21
  #1250 (permalink)  
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Ah I remember that well Mr Davvar, and the voice breaking in and telling us that the Russians had launched a artificial moon.
Me dad said we were all doomed, he hadn't been back long from his Z training yer see.
He did his Z training in Wales, as he said ,they couldn't very well
go about practicing their shootin on Russians as we were not officialy at war yet, but there were plenty of Welsh folk.
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Old 22nd Aug 2003, 18:54
  #1251 (permalink)  

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Is Emperor Commodus the one who had a twin brother called Latrinus?
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Old 22nd Aug 2003, 19:10
  #1252 (permalink)  
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I have never received or sent a text message.
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Old 22nd Aug 2003, 19:16
  #1253 (permalink)  
I'll mak siccar
 
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Probably, but it was never admitted officially. Some thought he was Latrina, a closet queen.
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Old 22nd Aug 2003, 19:17
  #1254 (permalink)  

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Maybe you should change your name to Textus.

You'd have thought he would be flushed out easily enough.
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Old 22nd Aug 2003, 19:23
  #1255 (permalink)  

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It's true. Never, ever, ever put milk in the cup along with the tea bag before adding boiled water

Ozzy
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Old 22nd Aug 2003, 19:25
  #1256 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Feb 2003
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Having had 4 liquid lunches this week, today I've decided to have a break (although I may yet change my mind).

Planning my weekend, I think I'll have 1 night in York, although I've only spoken to Travel Lodge & they were (predictably) full!

York, Jorvic or Eborum have some latrines in the city centre which could do with a bit of renovating courtesy of a Roman army. They're
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Old 22nd Aug 2003, 19:27
  #1257 (permalink)  
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Go to the Novatel, they bought 150 colour tellies off me.
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Old 22nd Aug 2003, 19:29
  #1258 (permalink)  
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Red face

tony draper has accumulated 6,428 posts since he registered in May 2001.
Assuming that he registered on the 1st of May, that's an average of 7.906519 posts per day - however if he didn't register until May 20th that would bring the average to 8.1059268 per diem.

It was 35 degrees C here in osaka today, and the weather bureau thinks they'll rescind their statement that the wet season has finished, because there is still a High pressure system persisting.
And my mate Nev went away on a 4 day trip yesterday morning - his wife's having a baby in February. It will probably be a boy or a girl!

Edit - Draper just put another post up, so that makes it 7.907749/8.1071878
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Old 22nd Aug 2003, 19:32
  #1259 (permalink)  
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You are in trouble now Kaptin,it is Binoculars job to keep track of Drapes posting stats.
Used to be a good bar in Osaka called Clancys,run by a Ozzie chap, it had proper toilets.

Hmmm , I could be thinking of Kobe, twas a long time ago, and the remember stuff part of me brain don't work very well now.
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Old 22nd Aug 2003, 19:35
  #1260 (permalink)  

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There now, keyboard all clean again.

Ozzy
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