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The really really boring and totaly pointless snippets of information thread

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The really really boring and totaly pointless snippets of information thread

Old 24th Dec 2003, 01:05
  #4241 (permalink)  
I'll mak siccar
 
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I expect you're right. I probably remember my Aberdonian because of his facility in the dialect. I thought it was hilarious, and so did he (of my efforts in French. I suppose it must have been French, come to think of it). We had a great chat or "crack".

I do remember a program on BBC radio about the trade, many years ago.

I always rather thought they must have a secret local depot for their ingins of mass destruction, to which they crept at dead of night to festoon the handlebars yet again.

They were not the only wandering workers. I can just remember the Clyde steamers pre-war, and on them the "German band" was always a fixture. They came for the season.

My great-grandpa was chief engineer in the "Columba", fastest and most beautiful of all. She plied the Firth for well over fifty years, and he kept her going for quite a few of them.

I expect your own Liverpool packets had no band.

The "P.S. Davaar" was a graceful vessel too.

Gone! All are gone, the old familiar faces!
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Old 24th Dec 2003, 01:21
  #4242 (permalink)  

stiletto psychopath mk4
 
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Actually, Mr Draper, I did enquire as to the price of a coco de mer in the Seychelles. Nigh on £200 quid! Even for one as well-heeled as me (and the Seychelles is a kitten heel rather than a stiletto sort of place, I feel), I thought this a little steep.

And although some of the coco de mer nuts resemble buttocks, the most prized ones look like, ahem, female hips as seen from the front (they even have a suitably placed tuft of hair). Of course, they grow only on female coco de mer trees. Male coco de mer trees sport tassel-like protuberances that can grow up to 2 metres long.

Nobody has ever seen a male tree pollinate a female tree because, legend has it, anyone who does so is turned into a black parrot.
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Old 24th Dec 2003, 01:24
  #4243 (permalink)  
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Indeed Mr D generations of Glasweigien shipwrites are rotating at speed in their graves today with the news that the new Queen Mary has put to sea from Le Harve where she was built.
I remember the Esso Northumbria towering over the streets in Wallsend.


Ah ok singaporegirl, its just that the one I have in me fruit bowl along with me chrissy tangerines is arse shaped.

The Entish race were ever a shy folk
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Old 24th Dec 2003, 04:22
  #4244 (permalink)  

stiletto psychopath mk4
 
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More likely that there were no Entwives, Mr D.
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Old 24th Dec 2003, 05:09
  #4245 (permalink)  
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Dunno about the Coco De Mer thingies but I once carried a exceedingly fat four foot long water melon that weighed almost as much as Drapes up the gang plank of a ship,,as I recal it was completely devoid of any taste whatsoever.
Never the less it was a splendid specimen of water melon hood, never seen a one like it since, can't recall where this was,just as well I suppose or singaporegirl would be on a plane in a trice, seeking the land of the Giant melons,and more sun tan.

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Old 24th Dec 2003, 05:44
  #4246 (permalink)  

Self Loathing Froggy
 
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Mr D

I hate being pedantic (do I ? ), but the truth must be said, the new Queen Mary has put to sea from Saint Nazaire where she was built.

Not the Froggies' fault if Cunard could not find a competitive shipyard in the whole UK.
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Old 24th Dec 2003, 05:54
  #4247 (permalink)  
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I think Cunard would be hard pressed to find "any" shipyard in the UK Mr Bre.

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Old 24th Dec 2003, 06:00
  #4248 (permalink)  

Self Loathing Froggy
 
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Looks like it's gonna be tough in France too, within a couple of years. The Chantiers de l'Atlantique at Saint Nazaire seem to have very few, if any, orders to follow the QM2.
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Old 24th Dec 2003, 11:41
  #4249 (permalink)  

Bluey
 
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Maybe it's time for another Titanic then ... and no, I do not mean a film about it.

Actually, a friend of mine had a smallish dinghy in which he was wont to putter about Gage Roads just outside Fremantle. Equipped with a small outboard motor and a pair of oars just in case, the vessel, "Kristina", had the phenomenal range of about four kilometres from the entrance to the fishing boat harbour. This was not due to a lack of fuel, you understand, the problem lay in the lack of storage space for a decent esky in which to preserve the correct degree of chill for the beer.

The tiny esky my friend was forced to use could contain, at best, four tinnies surrounded by shaved ice. Since, on a hot day, he used two of these tinnies while motoring over to one of his favourite fishing spots, it follows that he would then need the other two while motoring back back to obtain more, thus leaving none for drinking while he was actually fishing.

This was a real problem. Various solutions were proposed and rejected and, despite the passage of several years, no effective resolution was ever reached. My friend decided that, regrettably, the time had come to dispose of "Kristina" and replace her with a vessel of superior beer-carrying capacity. He decided to build this new boat all by himself.

For the next two years, he spent most of his waking hours in his (very large) shed from whence issued all manner of strange noises. Friends enquired about the progress and received favourable reports ... but nobody was ever permitted to enter the shed which was always locked.

Everyone, however, was invited to the launching of the new craft ... and what an innovative creation it was. Shiny, spotless aluminium skin, completely unsullied by so much as a lick of paint, flared brilliantly in the sun and forced everyone to put on their sunglasses. Able to see again, one of the Master Mariners present observed that the vessel appeared to be somewhat smaller on the inside than she was on the outside. He was quite correct.

My imaginative friend had constructed a double-hulled dinghy and the resulting space between the two skins had been filled with styrofoam. He had carefully constructed a series of "lids" to cover the top of the space between the inner and outer hulls and these could be removed to reveal tinnie-shaped cutouts in the foam beneath.

My friend was so proud of himself. Not only had he solved the beer problem (the amount he could carry), he could also keep it cold in its foam nest while the foam itself would assist in the flotation characteristics of the vessel. "It's unsinkable, he asserted and, sure enough, carefully written across the back of the dinghy was, "Titanic II."

Carefully, the new vessel was transferred to the waters' edge where a glass of champagne was poured over her bow and the traditional words were spoken. A couple of gentle shoves transferred her to her natural element where she rode the little waves, proudly bobbing up and down .....

..... and tipping dramatically from side to side as the foam filling did its job too effectively for the little boat to settle to a more natural depth.

Not only was Titanic II unsinkable, she was also unusable. It was a sad, sad day for my friend.

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Old 24th Dec 2003, 13:54
  #4250 (permalink)  
 
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For the 1000th post my first attempt at verse.

T'was on the eve of Christmas
And snow lay on the ground
When Drapes set forth, with grain in hand
To scatter it around.


With Cody bounding at his heel
The lake came into view
The geese upon it honked and hissed
In greeting for the two


The geese did fly across the lake
They should have had some guidance
So low they flew, at such great speed
They quite misjudged the distance


Our patient pair awaited them
The geese came nearer yet
And faster still, and on they came
And Drapes said "bloody heÁk"


Cody stood in horror
A big disaster loomed
And Drapes moved nary a muscle
He knew that they were doomed


The end came swift enough
With a honk and an oath and a bark
And a bloody great mess and a tangle
When Drapes last went to the park
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Old 24th Dec 2003, 16:47
  #4251 (permalink)  
Suave yet Shallow
 
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V V good first attempt at verse, far better than me. Bu99er Something else someone is better at than me. I'm starting to feel a little inadequate now!

I was late today, I've never been late so many times since I moved near work. It's odd, have to get up at half six - be out by seven, I always managed it. Today I had to be up for half 8 to give myself time to pack stuff for my Xmas travels to see family, and I woke up at 7, 7.20, 7.55 and then 8.55! Grrrrrrr why does it happen like that.



Mind you, it was one of those great sleeps when you wake up feeling 110%!
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Old 24th Dec 2003, 18:20
  #4252 (permalink)  
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First class Mr Crun, excellent,nurture this gift,nothing strikes more fear into a forum opponent than the knowledge that one may make up a rude poem about em.

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Old 24th Dec 2003, 18:43
  #4253 (permalink)  

stiletto psychopath mk4
 
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I remember having lunch in the Irma Hotel in Cody, set up by Buffalo Bill. It's famous for its $100,000 cherrywood bar given by Queen Victoria. There were lots of souvenir shops selling Stampede aftershave and gourmet buffalo snacks for dogs. I did think - briefly - about a cowgirl outfit, but managed to resist the temptation.

But I haven't been to Hope, in Arkansas, which apparently is the watermelon capital of the world. Their instructions for growing giant specimens state: "Remove all melons from the vine except one if you want a 200 pounder. Leave two melons on the vine if you'd rather have a pair of 100 pounders."
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Old 24th Dec 2003, 19:20
  #4254 (permalink)  
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Hmm, might have a go at growing a Marrow next year, seen them achieve a spectacular size, although marrow husbandry is more a southern sport, we is mainly giant Leek folks up here .
Being downwind of Sellarfield should be a help



Hmmm item just been on the news, Dr Harold Shipman has had his priviledges withdrawn for bad behaviour? his TV has been removed from his cell, and he wiill have to wear prison uniform, shocking !!one does not expect this of a member of the Medical profession.
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Old 24th Dec 2003, 19:31
  #4255 (permalink)  
Suave yet Shallow
 
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Location: half way between the gutter and the stars.
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Bad behaviour? I wonder what he did? Can't imagine him kicking-off at slopping out time.


Right I'm off now and hitting the town as soon as I get home so, Happy Christmas to all in the thread. I will probably see Singaporegirl in Jimmy Choos in the after-Xmas sales as I rush to buy a dainty pair of slip-ons to fit Miss DESK in my ever hopeful quest into her affections. Have a good one folks!!

Last edited by topcat450; 24th Dec 2003 at 20:00.
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Old 24th Dec 2003, 20:00
  #4256 (permalink)  

Yes, Him
 
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Slopping out?
They're spoilt these days.

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Old 24th Dec 2003, 20:02
  #4257 (permalink)  

Prince of Darkness
 
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Any word on what the bad behaviour was Drapes old chap? Was he playing with others food?

Ozzy
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Old 24th Dec 2003, 21:09
  #4258 (permalink)  

stiletto psychopath mk4
 
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I heard he introduced a computer virus that deleted all the old files.

Slinks off to bake a last batch of mince pies...
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Old 24th Dec 2003, 22:18
  #4259 (permalink)  
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Why doesn't anybody post pickies in the PPRuNe Gallery???, same ones been in there for yonks,though very nice they are, they could do with some company.
How does one go about posting picks in the Gallery??

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Old 25th Dec 2003, 00:33
  #4260 (permalink)  
 
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In addition to watermelons, Hope is also famous for Klipsch Audio Technologies. For the money, they make probably the best loudspeaker in the business.
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