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The really really boring and totaly pointless snippets of information thread

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The really really boring and totaly pointless snippets of information thread

Old 19th Dec 2003, 02:05
  #4141 (permalink)  
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: Newcastle/UK
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two Comets due in May Mr G, we should have two in the sky at the same time, brightening up in a very promising manner, but we have heard that before.
So we can look forward to May being a crap month in the UK, with wall to wall clag.


Well sink me Sir!!one has just learned something on the Military Forum, the Gray Funnel Line has been forced by those wooses in Brussels to suspend Courts Marshal.
Dammit man, no more Drum Heads, no more Kissing the Gunners Daughter, no more floggings round the fleet, how is a chap to maintain disipline?


Last edited by tony draper; 19th Dec 2003 at 02:24.
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Old 19th Dec 2003, 03:40
  #4142 (permalink)  
 
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Saddam

What were Sadam's first words on leaving his little pit thing ?
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Old 19th Dec 2003, 03:54
  #4143 (permalink)  

Jack's Granddad
 
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"Did I beat David Blaine?"
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Old 19th Dec 2003, 03:59
  #4144 (permalink)  
 
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Correct - I shall retire to bed hurt
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Old 19th Dec 2003, 10:13
  #4145 (permalink)  
 
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Did you know that you can turn into a soap mummy if you have significant amounts of body fat and your corpse is submerged? Or if the environs are just really wet. It's called soponification.
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Old 19th Dec 2003, 15:04
  #4146 (permalink)  

Yes, Him
 
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Foggy again. I have cut a bough of holly and looked in the phone book to find out where the Halls live. When said fog lifts, I'll go & deck 'em.

Perhaps Christmas has some fun points.
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Old 19th Dec 2003, 15:12
  #4147 (permalink)  

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Onan the Clumsy has posted 88 times in the last week and 147 times in the last two weeks. The good news is he is nearly at 2000 posts so maybe then he'll have won the bet and gone back to work.
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Old 19th Dec 2003, 15:21
  #4148 (permalink)  
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Remember taking me sister to the Hancock Museum in Newcasle she was about seven at the time,walking thru the Egyptian Gallery we round a corner to be confronted a lady Mummy sort of nailed to the back of a tall glass case this dead lady was, this was not the sort of lady wrapped all up in bandages type Mummy, but a kind of lady skeleton cobvered in parchment like skin mummy with empty eye sockets.
Small sister lets out a shriek that should really have woke said Mummy up and flees howling like a banshee thru the corrodors of the museum, oh dear what a panic, chaps in brown coats rushing hither and yon to see who is being murdered.
Small sister was eventualy captured and subdued.
Never took her to that Museum again.
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Old 19th Dec 2003, 16:46
  #4149 (permalink)  
Suave yet Shallow
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
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Why thank you Miss DESK , hope you're as stunning and as flirtatious as always

You know how sometimes, you send an email...and deliberatly don't copy someone else..for example the boss...as you abuse him in it. Then...the person you sent it to...replies..and copies the boss so he can see what you put. That's happened to me today. Sh1t. P45 on it's way me thinks.
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Old 19th Dec 2003, 17:12
  #4150 (permalink)  

Starry-eyed surprise
 
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Indeed Mr Topcat, I am always stunning and nearly always flirtatious

I have 150 Christmas cards to write today. Nothing like leaving things to the last minute
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Old 19th Dec 2003, 17:34
  #4151 (permalink)  

Nice-but-dim
 
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Any career opportunities within your organisation Ms Desk? Methinks an admirer may have an interest.

(Hey, just think, TC450 as your subservient lapdog.....)
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Old 19th Dec 2003, 18:05
  #4152 (permalink)  

Starry-eyed surprise
 
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Now there's a thought - I could do with someone to lick my envelopes.
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Old 19th Dec 2003, 18:09
  #4153 (permalink)  
Suave yet Shallow
 
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Now would I be so crass as to suggest my licking and general oral skills should be more than upto the job!!


Hang on a cotton-pickin' minute! Thats not a euphamism is it Miss DESK

PS..Why not do what I've just done...1500 odd ELECTRONIC Xmas cards...mentioning you're making a charitable donation in liue of paper cards.
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Old 19th Dec 2003, 23:58
  #4154 (permalink)  

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This is only the second occaion that this thread has drifted onto page two so to restore it to its proper place found the following (apparently true) anecdote:


While visiting a Greek air force base, General Metaxas was invited to test a new flying boat. After a short flight, he was preparing to land when the base commander, sitting shotgun, intervened: "General, it might be better to come down on the water, as this is a flying boat."

Metaxas, quickly approaching a runway, immediately pulled up, made another pass, and safely touched down on the water. Then, killing the engine, he turned to his host. "Thank you, Commander, for saving me from making a fool of myself," he said, before opening the craft's door and jumping out - into the water.
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Old 20th Dec 2003, 01:04
  #4155 (permalink)  
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Anybody else see that CCTV clip of the Ghost at Hampton Court?
Couldn't have been Wolsey, he was a fat bastard.
Load of old bollix if yer ask me.
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Old 20th Dec 2003, 15:49
  #4156 (permalink)  

Cut & Paste Intellectual
 
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Was that the 17th century ghost rapidly adapting to a 21st century class 1 fire door?

Well, a ghost ain't goin' be toast

.
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Old 20th Dec 2003, 16:18
  #4157 (permalink)  
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Looks like the output from a crappy 300 line low resolution camera anyway, those pickies offend ones profession.
Retained images or burn on was quite common on the old tube camera's seen them punted as ghosts before now, although they were always static.
According to the chap at Hampton Court, some of the guides are clad in period costume,nuff said, some poor bigga nipping outside for a sly woodbine one thinks,, they prolly have a strict no smoking regiem, so nobodies going to admit to the sin of sins.

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Old 20th Dec 2003, 16:48
  #4158 (permalink)  

Yes, Him
 
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Looks like Michael Jackson to me, only more talented.

Hmm, what to do today? List of outside jobs is in the pending compartment of one's brain, as it is persisting down and blowing a semi-hooligan.

Maybe do a loft search for the Bah! Humbug! items so NAGCINCHOME can adorn the place with glitzy frippery and fol-de-lols of an annoying nature.
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Old 20th Dec 2003, 16:57
  #4159 (permalink)  
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Filthy morning here also Mr G its almost ten and its still feckin dark.
Number one brother took small hound for his morning defacation perambulation,so one has as yet not venured outside, don't think one will if one can help it.
Blackbird has taken up residence on a chimney pot across the way and has commensed singing at 5 am these last three mornings, one thinks the small chap must have his seasons mixed up somewhat.

oooh goody!! Dan Dare is on channel five,dunno why they had to make Dan Dare look like Tom Cruise, Dan Dare was a lantern jawed Englishman, not some Hollywood fop with gleaming teeth, still, this one can at least act, even if he is just a puter graphic,


Dunno where the series is made, but the English accents are on a par with thingy in Mary Poppins.


Last edited by tony draper; 20th Dec 2003 at 17:16.
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Old 20th Dec 2003, 17:36
  #4160 (permalink)  

Yes, Him
 
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Local pheasant shoot on out the back. Ah, the quiet country life, what with shoots, Chinooks, copperchoppers and jets from Gatwick its more like feckin Khe San sometimes.

As to dog perambulation Mr D, my two got as far as the back door, stopped dead, gave me that "you surely jest mate" look and retired to kip.

Was never keen on Dan Dare. Thought him and Digby were prolly "life-long bachelors" as folk used to say.
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