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The really really boring and totaly pointless snippets of information thread

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The really really boring and totaly pointless snippets of information thread

Old 17th Dec 2003, 06:12
  #4101 (permalink)  
I'll mak siccar
 
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Mr Draper, in her teaching days my sister took a group of lads into a Scottish wee shoppe for a snack. They all wanted crisps. There were no crisps. My sister said to the old biddy running it: "You should stock crisps." Answer: "If Ah wis tae stock crisps, Ah'd never be dune rinnin'"
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Old 17th Dec 2003, 06:32
  #4102 (permalink)  
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One did some work at the Tudor foods facility near here once, this is the main facility where all the crisps are built, one dropped ones screwdriver onto the conveyor belt and had to scurry down lest some hapless punter swallow a terminal driver shaped crisp at some time in the future, and perhaps be encouraged to sue the arses off said Tudor foods.
One managed to snaffle the tool, but not untill it had sailed past about twenty ladies plucking out discoloured and deviant crisps from the conveyer.
Interestingly like lots of chaps in Drapers trade one tended to store ones screwdriver betwixt ones teeth when using some other tool , ones screwdriver was cheese and onion flavoured all day.
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Old 17th Dec 2003, 06:40
  #4103 (permalink)  

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Mr Gainesy

Did you supply these door gunners with adequate oilskins and enough beer and liquor? If not, they probably swam away to the next isalnd, to dry their clothes and get a drink. Those seamen are actually very sensitive people, you know.

Another solution would be to tie them with ropes, but some might not like it, although...
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Old 17th Dec 2003, 07:51
  #4104 (permalink)  
 
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Herr Draper,

They're furrin, but them Kettle Chips (Hernspeak for crisps) are bloody good. Especially the Salt and Vinegar.

I once enquired of an off-licence chappie about a specifid liquid and received the wonderful quote, "Yeah, we get a lot of people asking about that. But we don't stock it - there's no demand for it."

Yeah...
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Old 17th Dec 2003, 15:44
  #4105 (permalink)  

Yes, Him
 
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In the village of Handcross there is a purveyor of posh kitchens. The shop frontage is adorned with "Paris, New York and Handcross" rather like Del Boy's Reliant van.

I have often wondered if any puzzled Parisians or New Yorkers have ever seen their respective local shops and wondered "Where the **** is Handcross?".

In case you are wandering, its about 10 south of Gatwick. Don't let yer missus near the place, they kick off at about £10,000.
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Old 17th Dec 2003, 16:29
  #4106 (permalink)  
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Handcross has prolly existed a lot longer than Paris and definatly longer than New York, bloody paint is still wet on New York, a Dutch cigarette maker bought it off the indians for a bag full of beads,we took it off him of course,hense the name change from Amsterdam to York, we can't have foreigners owning other bits of the world, that was our job.
Dunno how long Paris has been there, prolly a place with lots of bushes and undergrowth, where the Roman soldiers used to get off their horses and relieve themselves, Paris prolly means " good place for taking a dump" in Roman.
History is facinating.is it not.

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Old 17th Dec 2003, 16:52
  #4107 (permalink)  

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Histry is indeed fascinating Mr D. Said village (Hand X, not NY or Paris) was the site of the first charabanc fatal accident sometime around 1912. The driver lost control after brake failure on a steep hill and about a dozen unfortunates went to their maker instead of Brighton Pier.

There seems of late to be a lot of advertising by the Paris Hilton. Unsolicited communications inform one that the establishment has produced a video extolling its virtues.

:
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Old 17th Dec 2003, 16:55
  #4108 (permalink)  

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Bumpers to bumper – approximately 9000 km of new cars enter UK roads every year. Less attrition, accident write-offs and few hundred exotica surreptitiously exported to Dubai in containers – where do all these cars end up? Cos they sure don’t seem to be building sufficient new roads to take ‘em.

RRBATPSOI – there seem to be more cars on the road nowadays.

One has noticed this trend from one’s diary, casual observation, sitting in traffic jams and the irritating level of street parking on yellow lines.

As a postscript to the taxation TPSOI on preceeding pages – one remembers recently that Mr D had commended the Revenue to tax according to prescribed male anatomical dimensions. One wrote to Dawn Primarolo, Paymaster General and Sir Nicholas Montagu, Chairman of Inland Revenue, with the suggestion, giving full credit for the origination of the idea and Ms Primarolo’s PPS’s reply has pointed out the non political correctness of this potentially novel levy. Given the very high proportion of female taxpayers, some further thought will have to be given to the methodology of gauging their share of the precept.
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Old 17th Dec 2003, 16:57
  #4109 (permalink)  
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Could have been worse Mr G, the village name could have finished with the word "Job" instead of "Cross".

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Old 17th Dec 2003, 17:02
  #4110 (permalink)  

Yes, Him
 
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Quite so Mr D. Would be pertinant though, as only a [email protected] would pay uppards of £10 grand for a bloody kitchen cupboard set.
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Old 17th Dec 2003, 17:44
  #4111 (permalink)  
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First day back in ages and we've run out of coffee.

I opted for a cup o' tea instead. BAD IDEA. I now feel very very sick - at least I now know why I don't drink Tea.

Also to keep the boring thread going, I heard that Tea inhibits your bodies ability to absobe Iron.
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Old 17th Dec 2003, 18:05
  #4112 (permalink)  
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Today is the day of my foot surgery

I may well end up with a new joint; which won't be smoked. One gets high on the laughter from Jet blast.

Topcat 450 mentioning tea, when I have to be nil by mouth: you won't be on my Christmas card list! < Was that the correct place for an exclamation mark?
I hopes not to after me anaesthetic.
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Old 17th Dec 2003, 18:09
  #4113 (permalink)  
 
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Here you go Mr D,

ORIGINS: The story of Paris begins with pre-history
Ancient human presence:
The constant presence of man in Paris is recorded from 5000 years BC. Remains of hunting, mammoth bones, and those of deer and reindeer dating from that epoch were discovered in 1886 in a quarry at Beaugrenelle.

Traces of a rural habitat and Neolithic tombs were also unearthed during excavation in the courtyards of the Louvre. Other clues indicate long-term settlements of these first occupants. Knapped flints were found in 1912 in the Place du Châtelet, indicating the presence of a pre-historic workshop. Similarly, objects were found during the excavation of warehouses at Bercy in 1991: construction posts, polished stones, bone tools, ceramics.

If you're really interested, which I doubt and goes against the spirit of this thread, have a look here: http://www.parisrama.com/english%20v...ry/origins.htm


Ooh Ooh - had the honour of pushing a new page forward!
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Old 17th Dec 2003, 23:09
  #4114 (permalink)  
 
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Getting way too close to the bottom of the page Herr D!

I have two pieces of metal on my desk... samples of things wot I do....

They are shaped like ray-guns ( squarish handle-type bit and around horn).

Every guy that walks past picks them up and zaps me or others around....any female passing says "what are they???"

Must be a boy thing I suppose....
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Old 17th Dec 2003, 23:48
  #4115 (permalink)  

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Mr Dishman

To own a SPACE PILOT Jet Ray Gun was a benchmark achievement as a young lad. The sort that emitted an incandescent shower of sparks - that was particularly effective at night.

Quests into deep space were planned and stepping onto some distant imaginary planet to fend of Ming and ghoulish creatures - a ritual played out with relish and enthusiasm.

Beats the hell out of PS2

Not much has changed cos the girlies didn't understand it then either
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Old 17th Dec 2003, 23:51
  #4116 (permalink)  

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Antarctica is 98% ice, 2% barren rock. The average thickness of the ice sheet is 7,200 feet; this amounts to 90% of all the ice and 70% of all the fresh water in the world. If the ice cap were to melt, the sea level would rise by an average of 230 feet. Start building those walls....

Ozzy
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Old 18th Dec 2003, 00:08
  #4117 (permalink)  
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One is going to depart from the normal protocols of this thread here and request some usefull information.
Watching a Doc here about the early pre war days of atomic research, up to the point when the chaps realised that certain elements might be configured in such a way as to produce a feckin great bang.
Apparently the French were very interested pre war and bought up loads of heavy water,the scandyhooligans seemed to be the main supplier of this strange isotope, thus leaving the chaps sausage side scurrying about seeking some to beg borrow or steal .
OK question?, heavy water was obviously beinng produced if not in industrial quantities in fairly large amounts in a plant in Norway, what use was heavy water put to before the advent of the atomic physics?, and the search for fission?
What did these Scandyhooligans use heavy water for,making Aquavit perchance?



Thank you Mr Dishman, one has done some research into prehistoric France oneself, it seems the Proto Gauls realised that a easier life could be had by lounging about painting pictures on cave walls and calling oneself a artist, much easier than having to go out and do a honest days work making flint knives arrowheads ect, or rushing about slaying Wooly Rhinos Mammoths and the like in the manner of the proto Englishmen across the way, as there was no English channel then, they prolly just wandered across and sold us flint postcards of, err Art studies.
This pointed the way of the future, we industrious Anglo Saxons produced the industrial revolution, the French produced works of Art


Last edited by tony draper; 18th Dec 2003 at 00:28.
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Old 18th Dec 2003, 06:12
  #4118 (permalink)  

Self Loathing Froggy
 
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Mr D

After an exhausting research (15 minutes on Google) I did not find any use for heavy water (discovered in the early 1930s) except nuclear research (which was booming in those years).

Biography of the discoverer

Back to more pointless subjects please :

Did you know that Giovanni da Verazzano was serving the king of France when he discovered a bay on the east coast of northern America in 1524?

Before being called Nieuw Amsterdam, the place used to be known as "La Nouvelle Angouleme".

Always something new, that is ...
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Old 18th Dec 2003, 06:22
  #4119 (permalink)  
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Thank you Mr Bre901, one could have googled it oneself one supposes, but one grows weary of information falling into ones lap so easily, twill lead to a lowering of standards, mark ones words,Google is to general Knowledge what the pocket calculator is to mental arithmetic.
One has the Deja Vu feeling agian, one thinks one has already posted that snippet of homespun wisdom.
Deja Vu, now theres a interesting subject, one of course solved the mystery of why it happens long ago.



Well, one may as well tell fellow prooners the Draper theory of how and why Deja Vu occurs.
Has to do with short and long term memory you see.
When coming upon a strange and new scene, the normal protocol is for the image to be stored in short term memory,then compared to all the scenes in long term memory,and because it is new informatiom and designated a new scene one has not witnessed before, then stored in long term memory for future reference.
What occurs with Deja Vu is the protocol undergoes a timing error,the scene is mistakenly stored first in long term memory, before being stored, as it should be in short term memory, then all hell breaks loose, the scene is compared to all scenes in long term memory, and **** me, it is already in there, how can this be one asks, I int never been stood on the top of mount Everest before now.
So there, the answer is simple, Tiz but a filing error, no doubt the Woo person had he still been here would have tried to shoot this theory down,as he had some daffy theories about how memory works, but as with all good theories it is simple and elegant, ergo, he would not have succeeded.

Last edited by tony draper; 18th Dec 2003 at 06:41.
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Old 18th Dec 2003, 06:48
  #4120 (permalink)  

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Mr Draper, as you seem to have so deep an insight into the human brain and especially memory, may I dare ask you if you have a theory (hopefully as clever) that could explain why short term memory weakens first (and, to a lesser extent, memory of names - there prolly is a third folder in there) whereas long term memory seems to be much more resilient ?
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