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I'm running a story in six part on the medical section.

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I'm running a story in six part on the medical section.

Old 20th Jan 2020, 02:38
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Psychophysiological entity
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I'm running a story in six part on the medical section.

It's to do with me death. Probably more suited to JB I could move it here, but can't if I've already become deceased. Perhaps I could, with a little help from me friends. Anyway, don't hog all the jokes. That reminds me. Anyone know where I can buy out of season red noses?
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Old 20th Jan 2020, 09:57
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Must have been in a funny mood last night. I'd just got back from the Rivetess' flat and our daughter's visit. Nice dinner, given the woman is a Vegan. Well, apart from salmon. Don't know what that poor fish has done wrong.
Doctor's later today. It'll be interesting as I'm fully intending to make my cliff ascent before walking in - big feet or not.

Mods. I'll zap/combine one thread or another shortly. Which one depends on how funny the doctor's appointment is. The last one was hilarious.

I was really into the MAX issues, having read every post for months. My (temp) doctor probably had to fly to Nigeria on a regular basis and he questioned me deeply about safety issues. I recall waving my arms about describing angles of attack etc., and his eyes got bigger and bigger. He wasn't laughing - which my 'normal' doctor does - albeit a bit hysterically. A bit like Clouseau's Chief Inspector.
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Old 20th Jan 2020, 11:46
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Originally Posted by Loose rivets View Post
It's to do with me death. Probably more suited to JB I could move it here, but can't if I've already become deceased. Perhaps I could, with a little help from me friends. Anyway, don't hog all the jokes. That reminds me. Anyone know where I can buy out of season red noses?

I would check up on that

The Death Clock - When Am I Going To Die?

https://www.death-clock.org/
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Old 20th Jan 2020, 15:04
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Seems I have only a few months. Bugger
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Old 20th Jan 2020, 15:13
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Originally Posted by Loose rivets View Post
It's to do with me death. Probably more suited to JB I could move it here, but can't if I've already become deceased. Perhaps I could, with a little help from me friends. Anyway, don't hog all the jokes. That reminds me. Anyone know where I can buy out of season red noses?
I'm sure that spending a few quid on buy-a-rounds at the local pub would turn up a few red noses
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Old 20th Jan 2020, 15:40
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Angel

Originally Posted by ZFT View Post
Seems I have only a few months. Bugger
You're lucky...I died 2 years ago, on a Wednesday!
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Old 20th Jan 2020, 15:48
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Originally Posted by bgbazz View Post
You're lucky...I died 2 years ago, on a Wednesday!
Did you go up or down? I suspect I'm in for a lot of trouble!!
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Old 20th Jan 2020, 17:48
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That death clock takes a very poor view of my lifestyle: less than 3 years left! Makes my lifelong struggle to keep my looks and figure a bit of a waste of time. Made me sad. Cheered up by rechecking with the actuaries
https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulat...eferencetables

Looking at column D I am in the winning 85% and the deathclock has only a 4% chance of being right.

Edit: kept hair too, just added for completeness and to give fair picture.
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Old 20th Jan 2020, 19:06
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Edit: kept hair too, just added for completeness and to give fair picture.
Do you get it out of the box and run your fingers through it to remember days past?
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Old 20th Jan 2020, 19:08
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If you're going to go, this is how to do it...

https://globalnews.ca/news/6435496/m...-heart-attack/



She recounted witnessing the “graceful and dignified” death. “Olney was in the middle of his third song when he stopped, apologized and shut his eyes,” wrote Rigby.

“He was very still, sitting upright with his guitar on, wearing the coolest hat and a beautiful rust suede jacket,” she added. “We laughed, because it was raining like hell outside the boathouse where we were playing.”
she continued: “At first, [it] looked like he was just taking a moment … Scott Miller had the presence of mind to say we needed to revive him. Doctors in the audience and 30A folks were all working so hard to get him to come to. It’s hard to post about this because I can’t really believe he’s gone.”

In his own post, Scott Miller — another close friend of Olney’s — described the situation in an extremely similar way as Rigby. He wrote, “We got him down and tried our best to revive him until the EMT’s arrived.”

“David was playing a song when he paused, said ‘I’m sorry’ and put his chin to his chest,” said Miller. “He never dropped his guitar or fell off his stool. It was as easy and gentle as he was,” he added.
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Old 20th Jan 2020, 20:27
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Originally Posted by NutLoose View Post
Do you get it out of the box and run your fingers through it to remember days past?
Nope, still pretty.
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Old 20th Jan 2020, 22:13
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Buggah. I got told I was right about my hypothesis. There are times when being right sucks. 'oh, heart failure isn't as bad as it sounds'. Oh, that's alright then.

Time will tell but right now I'm finding it hard to find any jokes that fit. I'll try to make one up.

Man walks into a shoemaker and says, 'good morning, fine shoemaker type fellow. I would like a very large pair of shoes.'
'Certainly, Sir, what was the size of your last purchase?'
'Nine and a half. But now I need a size eighteen. Very soft leather.'
The shoemaker replies. Ah, I know the problem. They'll be ready Thursday . . . I'm er, sorry to bring this up, but we will be requiring cash.'
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Old 21st Jan 2020, 00:41
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"Sir, I would suggest getting clogs....."
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Old 21st Jan 2020, 04:10
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Cool Death Clock,

Originally Posted by ZFT View Post
Did you go up or down? I suspect I'm in for a lot of trouble!!
Pretty gloomy here, so I guess I went down.

Shall I get a beer ready for you?
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Old 21st Jan 2020, 09:12
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"Sir, I would suggest getting clogs....."
First laugh of the day.
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Old 21st Jan 2020, 09:35
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My Mum (88) visits heart surgeon, tells him to cut the crap and tell her the truth. He says, "your heart is shot. you've got 2-3 weeks max, I can only give you pain relief (for angina)". She says, OK, I'm going home now and will have two lamb chops for lunch.

The Doc changed her pain meds and she lived until she was 98, in good to fair health, with all of her friends around her for 10 years until she passed quietly in the night.

Doctors are not always right.

IG
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Old 21st Jan 2020, 10:05
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The "Body clock" gives me until 2016???!!!
I suppose I had better be careful.

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Old 21st Jan 2020, 12:40
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Originally Posted by bgbazz View Post
You're lucky...I died 2 years ago, on a Wednesday!
At least you avoided the weekend chores!
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Old 21st Jan 2020, 13:23
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Originally Posted by bgbazz View Post
Pretty gloomy here, so I guess I went down.

Shall I get a beer ready for you?
A double Hendricks if I may kind sir
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Old 21st Jan 2020, 16:24
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Death clock says I'll go aged 67. My Father died aged 66 but he was a smoker. It seems excessively pessimistic.

Anyway I decided to lose weight, be optimistic, give up the drink completely and become a woman. With these new parameters, I'll be around until I'm 94.
That's much better. ​​​​​​




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