Methodology for Loo Roll Installation

[Null Orifice]

Originally Posted by Fareastdriver

The WC had been let into the ground so that the seat was level with the floor.

At RAF Kuching in the mid-60s there was a contingent from the Singapore Guard Regiment whose members shared the OR's toilets and shower facility.
Their crapology involved the squat technique with their feet on the bog seat. This caused many seats to be broken (and several OR bum cheeks getting a nasty nip on the cracked plastic).
The solution involved a dedicated cubicle, for the use of SGR personnel only, this cubicle being modified by a liberal quantity of concrete being poured around the outside of the ceramic bowl, up to the rim level,such that (when it had dried) it formed a more stable perch from which they could perform their bodily function.

[RedhillPhil]

What you need is one of these..............

[lomapaseo]

Originally Posted by RedhillPhil

What you need is one of these..............

Which way do you sit?

[oxenos]

Which way do you sit?

Which way does it rotate?

[hiflymk3]

Can it also brush your teeth?

[Pontius Navigator]

Good for finger nails

[treadigraph]

And polishing yer shoes...

[oxenos]

Brown ones.

[ilvaporista]

My first day in Italy, now almost 30 years ago, provided me with a serious and painful lesson in life. Having left London in a pleasant 5 degree winter's sun I arrived in Milan to -13 and freezing fog, thinking that my suitcase full of tee shirts and shorts might not have been such a wise move.

Distracted by my lack of forward planning, on completion of the post-meal space-creation session, I used the bidet for a spruce-up. Seeing the taps I opened up the C one on full chat and was treated to a shot on the bullseye of scalding hot water. Leaping up from the thermal assault on my nether regions I cracked my head against the tiled wall and with my flailing hands managed to launch the glass shelf and drinking glasses into the air which, on hitting the tiled floor, broke into small pieces. By this time I am falling backwards on to the broken glass with my trousers round my ankles. I spent an hour patching myself up and picking bits of broken glass out of the cuts.

Not one of my proudest moments. What did I learn? C in Italian means hot, caldo. Not C for cold as I had wrongly assumed. Every day since I have learned something else about living in Italy.

Edit: I can't remember which way the toilet paper was loaded but to be honest, DILLIGAF.

[Ancient Mariner]

On Italian C's. Fellow student bought a used Fiat 2500. Kept complaining that the interior was freezing cold in winter. Knowing a bit Spanish/Italian/Portuguese I solved the problem when he was the designated driver one evening.
I'm sure you can figure out how. 😁
Per

[rans6andrew]

I was sitting contemplating this thread, as you do, when I realised that the answer was literally staring me in the face. The people who make the rolls must know the answer and, if you get the brand that has the quilting and koala bears embossed on it, it all becomes clear. The koala bear embossing is only on one side of the paper and it is only visible and the right way up if the loose end hangs to the front of the roll when installed.

This does lead me to another, supplementary question, which side of the paper should be applied to the nether regions, embossed or plain?

And while we are on the subject, I saw a comedy act where the bloke came out with "Do you know that there are some people that stand up to wipe their bums?" which caused a sudden quietness in the audience as half the people tried to work out if they had been doing it wrong all along and the other half tried to work out if they had been doing it wrong all along........ Apparently, some nights the comedian told it the other way around ie "stay sitting down to " and the audience response was just the same............

Rans6......

[Uplinker]

Originally Posted by 57mm

What is this thing called toilet paper? Isn't that what the brush is for?

Probably already been mentioned, but you’ve got the wrong end of the stick.

The saying ‘wrong end of the stick’ apparently comes from Roman toilets, where brushes on sticks were provided to clean yourself afterwards, before toilet paper was invented. If you picked up the wrong end of the stick...........

[nonsense]

[Blacksheep]

...the squat technique with their feet on the bog seat. This caused many seats to be broken. (

Our fix at Electrical Engineering Squadron, RAF Changi was to spring load the seats to the "up" position. If doing a big job you pulled it down and held it there as you sat down on it. The squatters found it difficult to manage and just balanced on the rim of the bowl instead. Government policy is for the loose end to be at the front. Our bog paper had "Government Property" written on every sheet which could only be read if the roll was installed with the loose end to the front.

At the Monarch Hangar in Luton broken seats were still a regular occurrence up until the collapse.

[oxenos]

The saying ‘wrong end of the stick’ apparently comes from Roman toilets,

Small boy was asked by his teacher to show the use of the word " immaterial ". He goes outside, comes back with a stick, which he is holding by its middle. Tells the teacher to catch hold of the two ends of the stick. Then tells teacher to let go of one end. Which end, asks the teacher. Its immaterial says he, there's dog sh*t on both ends.

[Uplinker]

Originally Posted by Blacksheep

Our fix at Electrical Engineering Squadron, RAF Changi was to spring load the seats to the "up" position. If doing a big job you pulled it down and held it there as you sat down on it. The squatters found it difficult to manage and just balanced on the rim of the bowl instead..............

Would it not have been quicker and easier to glue two extra spacer blocks underneath each seat? Toilet seats usually have only four spacer blocks, but an extra block each side at the midway position would take the load of a squatter's feet and prevent the seat breaking.