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Marriage - protecting pre-marrital assets

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Marriage - protecting pre-marrital assets

Old 29th Apr 2019, 14:08
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Marriage - protecting pre-marrital assets

Hello

Yep I've created a new account for this question! :-)

I'm looking to get married to my partner but I have the following problem:

I have about £600k in net assets
My partner has about £5k in net assets (the difference is not a problem for me, she has valid reasons).
We started cohabiting when I had about £85k in a bank account and I continued to use it for salary/rent/bills.
I've since learnt that the ring fencing protection for pre-marrital assets does not begin at the date of marriage, it begins at the date that cohabitation started prior to marriage (wtf?!).
So that bank account that had £85k in when cohabitation began has become 'mingled' and will be treated as a shared marrital asset in the event of divorce.

I know £85k isn't a big portion of my total assets but I can't help but feel that I've lost a lot of trust in UK divorce law by being tripped up with a law effectively saying "marrigage begins when cohabitation beings not the date of marriage". And as I have significantly more assets than my partner I'm only ever going to lose out if any other legal 'perculiarities' occur.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I've found a decent lawyer but she wants £650 for an 'initial consultation' - I don't even know if there is a solution and how much it would cost. She did mention a prenup but the idea of it makes me feel sick and bloody offensive for my partner who obviously hasn't done anything wrong.

Also we're looking to have kids and I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that without being married, so I can't just "not get married".

Not sure what I'm expecting anyone to say really but I'd be very grateful for any advice.

Cheers,

IJAU
Imjustanotheruser is offline  
Old 29th Apr 2019, 17:07
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Strangely enough, I trusted my fiance enough to put all I had in a joint account when we got married. I had ten times what she had. She had £25 and I had about £250.

After more than forty years, we're still sharing a joint account.
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Old 29th Apr 2019, 17:07
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In a divorce you are a bloke and therefore you are going to get screwed.

Why are you getting married ?
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Old 29th Apr 2019, 17:12
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The difference in who has what asset is not a problem but how do I protect mine? seems to me that you're kidding yourself.

If you're worried about what happens in the event of a divorce then perhaps you shouldn't be getting married.
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Old 29th Apr 2019, 17:20
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I can only speak to Canadian law which is not the same as UK. You would be wise to search on UK marital property division, child custody and support.

Once married and/or cohabiting for x years, each partner automatically owns half the marital home. That might amount to more than the difference in your bank account

Consider giving your parents a mortgage on your home. The transaction will have to be structured to withstand scrutiny; so use the money on another asset. When your parents shuffle off, their will can forgive the mortgage which makes it an inheritance, but you have to careful not to merge the proceeds into joint property.

Shop around for lawyers. Some are smarter than others. Check with acquaintances with assets who have been divorced for recommendations.

Oh yes, one sided prenups can be overturned.
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Old 29th Apr 2019, 18:12
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When we married I had the deposit for a house. She had an overdraft.

Later, when I was a higher rate tax payer all the interest bearing money went into her account; it still does 45 years later.

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Old 29th Apr 2019, 18:30
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You are getting married and worry about protecting your assets from your potential wife?
I would think again my friend.
When I married our financial situation was very similar to the figures you quote, I had no hesitation in changing all to joint accounts.
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Old 29th Apr 2019, 18:31
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//Rant on

I know it's 2019 but surely if you are entering into the marriage commitment, then you should share everything from day one. "Our bank account", "our house", "our Kids", "our struggles", "our joys", "our sadness", "our lives". Hanging on to what each other has or has not already got, dilutes the commitment to nothing more than a sham. Yes, I hold as true as I can to the Christian faith and its values, and remain happily married for 47 years. I've had my health problems, Mrs IG rode the bus every day to the hospital, she sat by the bed for long hours, day and night, she didn't bugger off and say, I can't live with this any longer, give me my share.

I suggest that you start to think of how deep you want your marriage relationship to be?, or do you prefer to be glued to a plastic toilet seat, talking to yourself in your last days. That's what happens to loads of billionaires in Monaco, all regretting that they had not loved enough in any relationship and are leaving this earth, sad, miserable and lonely, which not even money can fix.

Step up to the table and take your place as leader of the household, but make sure you have the necessary to build a serious lifelong relationship.

//Rant off

IG
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Old 29th Apr 2019, 18:32
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Oooops beaten by FUNFLY...

All good,

IG
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Old 29th Apr 2019, 18:36
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'do you prefer to be glued to a plastic toilet seat, talking to yourself in your last days.'

You make it sound like a bad thing.

@PN ditto. Worked out ok and anyway only I know the passwords.

Appearance of children is where the commitment really starts: assets and future income, irrespective of marriage I believe.
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Old 29th Apr 2019, 19:44
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OP, has your future wife read this thread?
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Old 29th Apr 2019, 19:51
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Originally Posted by Imagegear View Post
//Rant on

I know it's 2019 but surely if you are entering into the marriage commitment, then you should share everything from day one.
Its not the sharing everything from Day 1 of the marraige he is worried about.

It is the shares of everything from Day 1 after the divorce that is a concern.
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Old 29th Apr 2019, 21:12
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Originally Posted by funfly View Post
You are getting married and worry about protecting your assets from your potential wife?
I would think again my friend.
Yup. The two intentions do seem somewhat contradictory.

(We've got a joint account, which has all my cash in it. She's got her own bank account ... but I've got her scanned signature which I've used in the past to move money out of her account when necessary and she's been out of the country. Back in the days before internet banking, when you wrote a letter and faxed it to the bank, and they never noticed that her signature on all these letters was identical to the last pixel.)
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Old 29th Apr 2019, 21:48
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Send me all your money, and I will hide it where no-one will ever find it.
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Old 29th Apr 2019, 21:50
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Originally Posted by funfly View Post
You are getting married and worry about protecting your assets from your potential wife?
I would think again my friend.
When I married our financial situation was very similar to the figures you quote, I had no hesitation in changing all to joint accounts.
Trouble it, it's not entirely in one's hands.
In 1961 I got married. In 1989, my first wife walked out of the marriage with a man whom my boys described as 'Dank Doug' - quite an apt description. Even through that, I still loved the woman and had no wish for the marriage to end. But there it is. (and she's long since died.)
Despite all of the above, I suspect that she could have fleeced me, if there had been anything to fleece. In our instance, a waste of time, but if I'd been in a profession which actually earned some dosh...
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Old 29th Apr 2019, 23:58
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OP Sir, you are approaching this all wrong. Thinking as you do before you are even married tells me that you should not be getting married !

You are clearly not ready and not prepared to make the sacrifice that marriage demands - or you are both unsuited for each other. Donít get married until you are prepared to share, and until you truly believe that you each bring a roughly equal contribution to the marriage - which, by the way, does not necessarily mean the amount of money you each have.
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Old 30th Apr 2019, 00:07
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Why are you getting married ?

This is one that needs answering.
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Old 30th Apr 2019, 01:11
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Maybe he needs the "Massey Prenup"...from Intolerable Cruelty!
Actually, I recommend that you take a night out and rewatch War of the Roses.

Last edited by ramble on; 30th Apr 2019 at 06:39.
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Old 30th Apr 2019, 02:01
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Follow my lead.
Dont get married.
If you are stupid enough to do it...
Assets in one country
Marry in another
Don't tell them what you have somewhere else
They leave with what they came with.
Marriage is about love not money isn't it.

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Old 30th Apr 2019, 02:06
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Consult the five best divorce lawyers in the land, should the wheels fall off at least you won't have one of the best to go up against!
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