Go Back  PPRuNe Forums > PPRuNe Social > Jet Blast
Reload this Page >

North Pole warns of pilot shortage as reindeer leave for commercial sleighlines

Jet Blast Topics that don't fit the other forums. Rules of Engagement apply.

North Pole warns of pilot shortage as reindeer leave for commercial sleighlines

Old 13th Dec 2018, 00:50
  #1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: PA
Age: 54
Posts: 35
North Pole warns of pilot shortage as reindeer leave for commercial sleighlines

SANTA’S WORKSHOP — The North Pole is in the midst of a readiness crisis as it struggles to fill its pilot ranks with qualified reindeer, who are leaving the service in record numbers to work at commercial sleighlines, sources confirmed today.

Santa Claus claims he has only 75 percent of the deerpower he needs to deliver presents this year, especially in crucial heavy lift squadrons.

“This is truly alarming. There is no way I’ll be able to deliver presents to all the good girls and boys, let alone coal to all the naughty ones,” said Claus. “The reindeer we do have are being worked to the antler, flying three or four gumdrop sorties a day.”

Santa is offering hefty incentive bonuses to keep reindeer from leaving for more lucrative jobs at commercial sleighlines like Hoofthansa. But even offers of triple helpings of moss and herbs are not enough to keep them in the service. Unless he can fix the retention problem soon, Santa says he might have to cancel Christmas across large swaths of North and South America.

“We’re trying to do more with less, but the fact is that’s impossible,” said Lt. Col. Rudolph, commander of Red Squadron. “With this Op Tempo, my guys already refuse to fly over Detroit and Chicago. It’s just too dangerous.”

The average reindeer costs about $1 million and takes 3 years to train, according to North Pole figures. The North Pole needs to keep those ruminants in its ranks past their initial commitment to maximize return on its investment.

“Not only are large numbers of reindeer getting out, our best reindeer are getting out,” said Rudolph. “Donner and Blitzen dropped papers last week, and Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen all took private jobs at Doeing testing unmanned sleighs.”

While Claus increasingly has been filling the ranks with unmanned aerial sleighs (UASs), turnover among the elves who pilot them has also been an issue.

“These UAS pilots are always on the clock, delivering presents to hundreds of houses an hour from thousands of miles away,” he said. “Nobody can handle that much Christmas cheer. Nobody.”

https://www.duffelblog.com/2018/12/n...%20sleighlines
underfire is offline  
Old 13th Dec 2018, 01:04
  #2 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: apogee
Age: 65
Posts: 59
"If the reindeer are the pilots Mummy? - what the hell does Santa do in the bloody sleigh and who is pulling it?"
meadowrun is offline  
Old 13th Dec 2018, 02:44
  #3 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 18
I hope that Santa gets through this temporary blip this year. Once they've found that the grass most certainly isn't greener elsewhere (or when they discover that it is grass, not lichen!), they'll be straight back to cargo work again and next Christmas should be back to normal operations for Santa. Presents are much more satisfying to carry and don't give as much trouble as other 'loads'!!
NoelEvans is offline  
Old 13th Dec 2018, 08:59
  #4 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Lincolnshire
Age: 76
Posts: 16,613
Originally Posted by meadowrun View Post
"If the reindeer are the pilots Mummy? - what the hell does Santa do in the bloody sleigh and who is pulling it?"
Santa got stuck in the chimney
Oh deer, oh deer
No reindeer
Pontius Navigator is offline  
Old 13th Dec 2018, 09:25
  #5 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Do I come here often?
Posts: 886
Originally Posted by meadowrun View Post
"If the reindeer are the pilots Mummy? - what the hell does Santa do in the bloody sleigh and who is pulling it?"
Obviously they're AirBus reindeer, not Boeing.

SND
Sir Niall Dementia is offline  
Old 13th Dec 2018, 09:51
  #6 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Ireland
Posts: 66
I don't know about the pilots, but there appear to be recruiting problems for Santa himself: https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/...ipping-tantrum
Maybe they got Kevin Bl**dy Wilson to play the role.
Economics101 is offline  
Old 13th Dec 2018, 09:51
  #7 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Coasting South
Age: 65
Posts: 53
They're leaving because there's no Sanity Clause in their contracts.
hiflymk3 is offline  
Old 14th Dec 2018, 00:02
  #8 (permalink)  
Psychophysiological entity
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Tweet Rob_Benham Famous author. Well, slightly famous.
Age: 80
Posts: 4,724
So where's the Christmas card from the CAA with the Flight check captain with a shotgun.

He straps himself in beside Santa.

"Shortly after takeoff, I will be failing one of your power units."
Loose rivets is offline  
Old 14th Dec 2018, 17:11
  #9 (permalink)  
Resident insomniac
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: N54 58 34 W02 01 21
Age: 75
Posts: 1,859
G-CPTN is offline  
Old 14th Dec 2018, 19:02
  #10 (permalink)  
Psychophysiological entity
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Tweet Rob_Benham Famous author. Well, slightly famous.
Age: 80
Posts: 4,724
Hee hee, hadn't seen that one. It all started from a Christmas card sent to airlines with a beautifully drawn CAA guy getting into the Sled. One of the reindeer was looking back in dismay.

This was c 1983
Loose rivets is offline  

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us Archive Advertising Cookie Policy Privacy Statement Terms of Service

Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.