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Admiral Draper's Really Really Boring and Totally Pointless Snippets of Information

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Admiral Draper's Really Really Boring and Totally Pointless Snippets of Information

Old 24th Jun 2018, 07:47
  #8541 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Mainland
Posts: 26
something to droop about
Let it not come to that!
Puir wee tree's only just regained its stature after being badly affected by a severe frost several years ago.

It seems there is a new verb: "to peat", as in, "it peated out".
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Old 24th Jun 2018, 15:02
  #8542 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: 8 dme 06L EGCC
Posts: 164
There has been a plastic bag caught in the branches of a tree at the bottom of my garden for about 18 months now. I've been watching it every day, it is looking quite tattered now, and I fear its days may be numbered.
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Old 24th Jun 2018, 16:45
  #8543 (permalink)  
Scalextric for Men
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Southern England outside the M25
Posts: 276
I haven't been here since the fourteenth.
Unlike William I was not captive of a faulty lock.
But for small pockets. A four pound club hammer; is another device to add to one's key ring.
Ideal for enabling escape: unfortunately the door would get ruined.
I reported a plastic bag wrapped around a phone pole.
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Old 25th Jun 2018, 05:26
  #8544 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: apogee
Age: 64
Posts: 59
Late Sunday evening here on the raincoast, wide-ranging thunderstorms are predicted overnight and the air is still, in waiting.

Was thinking about a return from Calgary one year after a business meeting to impress upon Cargo the importance of AOG COMAT movements in a "Drop Everything Else" manner, every single time.
All I got was a desultory, "Add this address to your Sita messages." Four of them, one of me. Not happy.
So, at the gate, stand-by, confirmed,positive space business ticket, waiting, everyone on and I get J/C and head to the aircraft (A320).
Find seat and start stowing my stuff. Seat mate is Dr. David Suzuki. I say "good afternoon" and "I shall try to not inflict myself on you." Sit down, fasten belt.
Flt Attendant approaches and tells me that late pax have arrived and I am bumped.
This is life, you have to take it in the biz and I get up and gather my stuff.
Turn to the good Doctor and for some reason say, "I'll be back" - (semi-Arnie).
Back to gate.

Boarding pass for flt deck seat is waiting.

An hour later I open the flight deck door, step out and wait for the revenue folks to leave first. Doc is there waiting for 1L to be opened, looking a bit surprised to see me and I say to him: "Best seats in the house"

Meeting with my team the next morning along with my guys in YYC and YYZ on conference call, we decided to ride herd on the Cargo people at all times, like we were breathing down their necks.
Service improved.
Moral? Do what you have to, to get the job done, run over morons when you have to -
and Doctor Suzuki is a nice guy who gets his job done well.
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Old 25th Jun 2018, 07:43
  #8545 (permalink)  
Stargazing
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: West
Posts: 427
Laws
Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.


Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal, and someone always answers.

Supermarket Law - As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help.

Variation Law - If you traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Cinema- At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave before the end of the game or performance. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangling legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very miserable buggers..

The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of a slice of buttered bread or toast landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet.

Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors' Law - If you are sick, make an appointment with the doctor. By the time you get there you'll feel better... But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. This has been proven over and over with pets and the vet also.

Vet's Law - Previously healthy animals will always develop mysterious and potentially fatal disorders on Saturday afternoon, soon after the vet closes for the weekend, thereby requiring a visit/multiple visits to the emergency vet at triple the usual rates.
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Old 25th Jun 2018, 09:10
  #8546 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: The Luberon
Age: 67
Posts: 896
Law of the WC.

When carrying out DIY, any dropped tool or object will end up in the toilet pan.
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Old 25th Jun 2018, 09:38
  #8547 (permalink)  
Resident insomniac
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: N54 58 34 W02 01 21
Age: 75
Posts: 1,859
Originally Posted by sitigeltfel View Post
Law of the WC.

When carrying out DIY, any dropped tool or object will end up in the toilet pan.
And if the item is heavy it will smash the bowl.
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Old 25th Jun 2018, 13:07
  #8548 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 5909N 00238W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 76
Posts: 807
Having just paid 52 to BT for my monthly landline phone & broadband account I checked with SSE and got a similar package for 22 a month. And because I'm already an SSE customer for electricity that monthly price is frozen for 3 years! It will be interesting to see just how painless the transfer process turns out to be.
This island (Stronsay) is unlikely to get fibre in the foreseeable future so my 5 or 6 MBps will have to suffice. I was impressed by the efficiency of the Scottish lady who sorted out my transfer and I was even more impressed when she told me that the SSE helpdesk for phone & broadband was based in Portsmouth!
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Old 25th Jun 2018, 13:47
  #8549 (permalink)  

Bluey
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 354
And then there's the 50-50-90 law which states that if there's a 50-50 chance of stuffing up big time, there's a 90% probability that you will.
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Old 25th Jun 2018, 14:39
  #8550 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 1998
Location: Ex-pat Aussie in the UK
Posts: 4,523
Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Well, that explains Youtube.
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Old 25th Jun 2018, 15:56
  #8551 (permalink)  
Resident insomniac
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: N54 58 34 W02 01 21
Age: 75
Posts: 1,859
Originally Posted by ricardian View Post
Having just paid 52 to BT for my monthly landline phone & broadband account I checked with SSE and got a similar package for 22 a month.
I found a cheaper supplier for my broadband (and landline), but they could not guarantee keeping the same landline number (which has been in the family for more than half a century - and is 'memorable') - so no deal . . .
Considering that the original landline would be issued by the forerunner of BT (the Post Office) and my landline supplier was no longer BT (and the number was moved from a previous address) I cannot see why the number should change - but hey - that's their business.
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Old 26th Jun 2018, 13:59
  #8552 (permalink)  
Stargazing
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: West
Posts: 427
My demented little Cocker obviously thinks that "You're a monster!" is a term of endearment, judging by the amount of tail-wagging when I say it to her.
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Old 27th Jun 2018, 13:45
  #8553 (permalink)  

Bluey
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 354
My cat responds in the same way to "You little ratbag" RbG. Does the half-shut eye thing and meows in reply!

In the meantime, something in the universe appears to have gone terribly awry. Twelve socks went into the washing machine and twelve socks came out. Further, twelve socks went into the dryer and again, twelve socks came out. The thing that's even more disturbing ... if such a thing could be possible ... those twelve socks were six properly matched pairs!!! What sort of omen is this? What does it portend? Is the sky about to fall or a rip appear in the fabric of the universe? Will there be plagues of frogs or tempests and floods? I'm scared.
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Old 27th Jun 2018, 20:46
  #8554 (permalink)  
Stargazing
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: West
Posts: 427
Oooh, Bluey, that definitely BODES.

To test the ripple in the space/time continuum, I shall put my washing on the line tomorrow. If it doesn't rain, that confirms your finding and armageddon's on the way...……

PS. If we're talking plagues, I'd quite like it not to be boils.
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Old 27th Jun 2018, 20:55
  #8555 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Coasting South
Age: 64
Posts: 51
I'm surprised that you can FIND twelve pairs of socks. I've lost count of how many pairs I have but can only find about three matching pairs... darn them..
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Old 28th Jun 2018, 02:07
  #8556 (permalink)  

Bluey
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 354
They are kept in close confinement, hifly. The sock drawer has a (key) lock on it, two strong padlocks and an electronic keypad requiring the correct code to be entered. They cannot escape.

A report is required, RbG. If there is no rain, we may need to put the emergency plan into action. But come to think of it, I can't remember where the checklist is kept ... we could be in trouble here.
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Old 28th Jun 2018, 06:44
  #8557 (permalink)  
Stargazing
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: West
Posts: 427
I have an awful feeling that the stowaway might have used it to line the cage of his serpent pet, Bluey. We might need to improvise.
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Old 28th Jun 2018, 10:08
  #8558 (permalink)  

Bluey
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 354
Ah yes, that's possible, RbG ... we'll leave Lily in comfort and make other plans. Most important item ... the chocolate is in the safe and I'll email you the code for that. You have the key to the wine cellar?
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Old 28th Jun 2018, 10:42
  #8559 (permalink)  
Resident insomniac
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: N54 58 34 W02 01 21
Age: 75
Posts: 1,859
Global warming?

Can we count the current spell of sunny weather in Britain as proof of global warming? - or does the effect have to be global?

PS the summer of 1976 wasn't classified as global warming (and I have memories of a similar spell of sunshine in the 1940s).
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Old 28th Jun 2018, 12:22
  #8560 (permalink)  
Cunning Artificer
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: The spiritual home of DeHavilland
Age: 72
Posts: 3,107
The secret of having plenty of matching pairs of socks is to only buy one colour, Thus, you either have a complete set of matching pairs or a number of matching pairs with only one odd sock! It is no longer possible have more than one odd sock.
All mine are black.
...except for the three matching brown socks and three matching grey ones
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