Limericks Mk 2

[goudie]

She lay there like a beached whale

[Hydromet]

She lay there like a beached whale
With a sign up, saying "For Sale".
A Japanese fisher

[goudie]

She lay there like a beached whale
With a sign up, saying "For Sale".
A Japanese fisher
Declined to kiss her

[jolihokistix]

Through her blowhole she downed a Pale Ale.

[goudie]

It was during the village fete
That a young lad tried getting a date

[Hydromet]

It was during the village fete
That a young lad tried getting a date
With the tattooed lady.
She thought that maybe
She'd be better off with his mate.
=====================
The man on the Aunt Sally stall
Sadly, had only one ball

[treadigraph]

We were frankly quite baffled
Why the other was raffled

[Hobo]

When its picture was stuck on the wall.



======================

We'd a lot of fun smashing the china,

[gerry111]

The man on the Aunt Sally stall
Sadly, had only one ball
We were frankly quite baffled
When the other was raffled
Then won by a grateful man, Paul

[gerry111]

We'd a lot of fun smashing the china,
(Some embossed with our own Regina)

[goudie]

We'd a lot of fun smashing the china,
(Some embossed with our own Regina
Wot an absolute shower
Off to The Tower

[treadigraph]

In back of an old Moggy Minor

--------------

There's a nice GT6 parked near me


It's spotless, I wouldn't leave it parked out on the road!

[gerry111]

There's a nice GT6 parked near me
But I was really busting for a pee

[treadigraph]

So I have to reveal
On its off side rear wheel
I drained my bladder while whistling "She"

-------------------

Caught short walking home from the pub

[Hobo]

I was eating a choc ice cream tub,

[treadigraph]

I wolfed down the last bit

[Hydromet]

Caught short walking home from the pub
I was eating a choc ice cream tub,
I wolfed down the last bit
But I have to admit
It's not my favourite grub.
=================
I'd rather a good steak and onions

[jolihokistix]

I'd rather a good steak and onions,
Yes, that'd lift me up off my trunnions,

[treadigraph]

And you're right to be vexed
Cos you know what's coming next
I fart loudly and vibrate her bunions

-----------------

Onions produce copious gas

[Hydromet]

Onions produce copious gas
Which you mustn't let go whilst at Mass.
You may sneak it out prior
But don't set it on fire