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Limericks Mk 2

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Limericks Mk 2

Old 19th Aug 2015, 05:59
  #501 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Hong Kong SAR
Age: 76
Posts: 289
Of course, if you find an old maid,
One who's never been laid
She’d better be rich
But not an old witch
Or a tune on a fiddle well played.
=====================

Half the man’s age plus seven
Is the age for sexual heaven.
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Old 19th Aug 2015, 07:40
  #502 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: South of Old Warden
Age: 82
Posts: 1,380
Of course, if you find an old maid,
One who's never been laid
Although a bit late
She'll appreciate
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Old 19th Aug 2015, 08:38
  #503 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 449
A Ppruner who's never afraid....

================
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Old 19th Aug 2015, 09:40
  #504 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 469
Ppruners are always gallant
Whether told "You shall" or "You shan't".
But when she says "Go ahead"
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Old 19th Aug 2015, 10:00
  #505 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: South of Old Warden
Age: 82
Posts: 1,380
Ppruners are always gallant
Whether told "You shall" or "You shan't".
But when she says "Go ahead
Take me to bed''
No way would we say ''I can't''

---------------------------------
Up for it we always are
And old age is never a bar
With an oxygen bottle
We'll be on full throttle
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Old 19th Aug 2015, 11:07
  #506 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Richmond NSW
Posts: 1,222
Up for it we always are
And old age is never a bar
With an oxygen bottle
We'll be on full throttle
In the back seat of the car
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Old 19th Aug 2015, 11:43
  #507 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 469
On the back seat of a mini
She was yours for half a guinea
And for a pound more
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Old 19th Aug 2015, 14:47
  #508 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: South of Old Warden
Age: 82
Posts: 1,380
On the back seat of a mini
She was yours for half a guinea
And for a pound more
You could be sure
She'd shag you until you went silly
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Old 19th Aug 2015, 14:50
  #509 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: South of Old Warden
Age: 82
Posts: 1,380
On the back seat of my Chevy '37
Girls would take me to heaven
And back
For a second crack
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Old 19th Aug 2015, 15:22
  #510 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Japan
Posts: 624
Round the back door at eleven.
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Old 19th Aug 2015, 20:23
  #511 (permalink)  
Gnome de PPRuNe
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Too close to Croydon for comfort
Age: 55
Posts: 5,845
Right now at twenty minutes past eight
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Old 19th Aug 2015, 20:56
  #512 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: South of Old Warden
Age: 82
Posts: 1,380
Right now at twenty minutes past eight
I'm about to meet my blind date
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Old 19th Aug 2015, 21:04
  #513 (permalink)  
Gnome de PPRuNe
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Too close to Croydon for comfort
Age: 55
Posts: 5,845
My God, is that her?
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Old 19th Aug 2015, 22:51
  #514 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: South of Old Warden
Age: 82
Posts: 1,380
I was gone in a blur
And got home in a terrible state
--------------------------
When dating, do it in style
And make her wait for a while
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Old 19th Aug 2015, 22:58
  #515 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 469
When dating, do it in style
And make her wait for a while,
But not for too long,
(That's where I went wrong).
She didn't even give me a smile.
====================
I'd hoped for a little bit more
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Old 20th Aug 2015, 00:38
  #516 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Japan
Posts: 624
Before she showed me the door
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Old 20th Aug 2015, 04:23
  #517 (permalink)  
Gnome de PPRuNe
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Too close to Croydon for comfort
Age: 55
Posts: 5,845
Didn't get to first base
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Old 20th Aug 2015, 08:01
  #518 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: South of Old Warden
Age: 82
Posts: 1,380
Just a slap on the face
Which I must say is still feeling raw
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Old 20th Aug 2015, 08:05
  #519 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: South of Old Warden
Age: 82
Posts: 1,380
It's sad when one's life is blighted
By true love that's unrequited



Suffered this ignominy at the tender age of 10
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Old 20th Aug 2015, 08:06
  #520 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 469
I gave her a pat on the bum
Which left my hand feeling numb
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