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Limericks Mk 2

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Limericks Mk 2

Old 30th Jun 2020, 22:11
  #4381 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: France / UK
Age: 65
Posts: 970
He was friends with a Miss,
who he wanted to kiss
but she was reluctant to pucker.
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Old 30th Jun 2020, 22:12
  #4382 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: France / UK
Age: 65
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A dowager duchess once said
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Old 30th Jun 2020, 22:24
  #4383 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Too close to Croydon for comfort
Age: 56
Posts: 6,613
I've found a strange lump in my bed
It isn't the Butler
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Old 1st Jul 2020, 00:36
  #4384 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Japan
Posts: 727
A dowager duchess once said,
"I've found a strange lump in my bed.

It isn't the Butler,
But something subtler."
(It was actually her carthorse, Old Ned.)
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Old 1st Jul 2020, 05:01
  #4385 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Japan
Posts: 727
She commuted to work on her bike,
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Old 1st Jul 2020, 05:21
  #4386 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: A place in the sun
Age: 78
Posts: 856
Even though she preferred to hitchhike
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Old 1st Jul 2020, 05:30
  #4387 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Japan
Posts: 727
To her madness was method,
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Old 1st Jul 2020, 06:02
  #4388 (permalink)  
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Location: Too close to Croydon for comfort
Age: 56
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As when cycling to Defford
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Old 1st Jul 2020, 06:29
  #4389 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: France / UK
Age: 65
Posts: 970
she met a hell’s angel called Mike.
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Old 1st Jul 2020, 08:27
  #4390 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 533
She pedalled it all around town
And Mike never did let her down.
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Old 1st Jul 2020, 09:02
  #4391 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Coasting South
Age: 65
Posts: 56
Her ring he did
Her bell he did ring
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Old 1st Jul 2020, 09:39
  #4392 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Too close to Croydon for comfort
Age: 56
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Cos he had this thing
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Old 1st Jul 2020, 10:37
  #4393 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Japan
Posts: 727
A bell-pull, with which he would clown.
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Old 1st Jul 2020, 10:40
  #4394 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Japan
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"Ring-a-ding" she would hear the bell go,
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Old 1st Jul 2020, 11:48
  #4395 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Great South East, tired and retired
Posts: 2,838
"Ring-a-ding" she would hear the bell go,
She arranged her nightgown "just so".
When the bedsprings did squeak,
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Old 1st Jul 2020, 12:01
  #4396 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 533
"Ring-a-ding" she would hear the bell go,
She arranged her nightgown "just so".
When the bedsprings did squeak,
And the floorboards did creak
You knew you were in for a show.
===========================
She liked to perform for the camera.
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Old 1st Jul 2020, 12:26
  #4397 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: France / UK
Age: 65
Posts: 970
She liked to perform for the camera.
(She didn’t like Facebook or Yammer) her
preferred platform was YouTube
and her mouth she would lube
with gin, for she was a stammerer.
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Old 1st Jul 2020, 12:31
  #4398 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: France / UK
Age: 65
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P-put your leg here! she would stutter
as the cameraman reached for the shutter.
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Old 1st Jul 2020, 22:57
  #4399 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Oct 2009
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P-put your leg here! she would stutter
as the cameraman reached for the shutter.
"And try not to blur"
"My bits or my fur"

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Old 2nd Jul 2020, 00:09
  #4400 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Great South East, tired and retired
Posts: 2,838
P-put your leg here! she would stutter
as the cameraman reached for the shutter.
"And try not to blur"
"My bits or my fur"
As the editor reached for the cutter.

****************
"Porn's not allowed on YooChoob!"
He said, deleting her boob,
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