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The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread XXV

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The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread XXV

Old 17th Mar 2015, 08:18
  #1001 (permalink)  
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alderney
Age: 57
Posts: 80
Morning all, grey day today, hoping to see some sunshine later.

The puffins don't come ashore immediately, last year they were late due we think to the number and severity of the winter storms. I think they came ashore around the 10th April, in previous years they have been seen ashore from the 20th March onwards. Ten were seen on the water directly in front of the camera yesterday.

EDIT : The gannet cam is still going ahead, the camera we used last year should be returned to us very soon after it has been repaired/refurbished in the Netherlands. This year more solar panels and more batteries will be installed to give better back up and hopefully reliability. The conditions on the Ortac rock are hugely challenging. Some gannets are going to be tagged, and using GPS technology they will be tracked so we can see where they forage. Other studies elsewhere show some individuals fly hundreds of miles a day looking for food. This tracking will be able to be seen live from the link I provided yesterday. That is the plan anyway.

Last edited by beaufort1; 17th Mar 2015 at 08:30.
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Old 17th Mar 2015, 08:30
  #1002 (permalink)  
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: South Africa
Age: 82
Posts: 1,321
Best of luck to Gupta, I missed your post yesterday.

Thanks for birthday wishes, now a grumpier and older man.
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Old 17th Mar 2015, 08:38
  #1003 (permalink)  
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: South Africa
Age: 82
Posts: 1,321

I have a few webcams bookmarked, depending on my mood and the time of day, I look at these.

Decorah Eagles, Ustream.TV:

Redcar's Lifeboats - saving life at sea for more than 200 years

Whitby Web Cam

South Georgia Webcam2 - South Georgia Website

travel webcam live from the World

Hotel restaurant Boucan Canot - Reunion Island : Webcam on the Boucan Canot beach

A variety of life.
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Old 17th Mar 2015, 08:51
  #1004 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Newcastle/UK
Posts: 1,473
Item on sky news saying that in future pupils will be obliged to learn poems and recite same without reference to a book, so the fearless news team test em,with a bloody modern poem! which are shite instead of a proper one about the sands of the desert being scarlet red or even the one about daffodils.
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Old 17th Mar 2015, 08:53
  #1005 (permalink)  

Pilot of the Airwaves
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Close to the Med
Age: 70
Posts: 811
Morning folks.

No over night rain but grey. The guessers have revised their suggestions overnight for the next week.

Happy birthday ian and good to hear your news BH.

On the subject of the National bird of Britain, should this not be the Crispy Duck, followed closely by the Roast Chicken or maybe viciverci?
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Old 17th Mar 2015, 09:00
  #1006 (permalink)  
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Andalucia
Posts: 714
Greetings Gentlefolk,

Further to your observation on the guessers it looks like the winter's ration of fluid is going to fall this week.

Happies Ian

It's a puppy rescue day today, four have been dumped under an olive higher up, mission is to catch and take to vet. A German charity and Senior Management, and me by default, are involved.
This is always difficult, I will report.
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Old 17th Mar 2015, 09:33
  #1007 (permalink)  
Chief Tardis Technician
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Western Australia S31.715 E115.737
Age: 67
Posts: 554
Her be a real Poem
Tells a story n all....

Mulga Bill's Bicycle

'Twas Mulga Bill, from Eaglehawk, that caught the cycling craze;
He turned away the good old horse that served him many days;
He dressed himself in cycling clothes, resplendent to be seen;
He hurried off to town and bought a shining new machine;

And as he wheeled it through the door, with air of lordly pride,
The grinning shop assistant said, `Excuse me, can you ride?'

`See, here, young man,' said Mulga Bill, `from Walgett to the sea,
From Conroy's Gap to Castlereagh, there's none can ride like me.
I'm good all round at everything, as everybody knows,
Although I'm not the one to talk -- I HATE a man that blows.
But riding is my special gift, my chiefest, sole delight;
Just ask a wild duck can it swim, a wild cat can it fight.
There's nothing clothed in hair or hide, or built of flesh or steel,
There's nothing walks or jumps, or runs, on axle, hoof, or wheel,
But what I'll sit, while hide will hold and girths and straps are tight:
I'll ride this here two-wheeled concern right straight away at sight.'

'Twas Mulga Bill, from Eaglehawk, that sought his own abode,
That perched above the Dead Man's Creek, beside the mountain road.
He turned the cycle down the hill and mounted for the fray,
But ere he'd gone a dozen yards it bolted clean away.
It left the track, and through the trees, just like a silver streak,
It whistled down the awful slope, towards the Dead Man's Creek.

It shaved a stump by half an inch, it dodged a big white-box:
The very wallaroos in fright went scrambling up the rocks,
The wombats hiding in their caves dug deeper underground,
As Mulga Bill, as white as chalk, sat tight to every bound.
It struck a stone and gave a spring that cleared a fallen tree,
It raced beside a precipice as close as close could be;
And then as Mulga Bill let out one last despairing shriek
It made a leap of twenty feet into the Dead Man's Creek.

'Twas Mulga Bill, from Eaglehawk, that slowly swam ashore:
He said, `I've had some narrer shaves and lively rides before;
I've rode a wild bull round a yard to win a five pound bet,
But this was the most awful ride that I've encountered yet.
I'll give that two-wheeled outlaw best; it's shaken all my nerve
To feel it whistle through the air and plunge and buck and swerve.
It's safe at rest in Dead Man's Creek, we'll leave it lying still;
A horse's back is good enough henceforth for Mulga Bill.'
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Old 17th Mar 2015, 09:42
  #1008 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Newcastle/UK
Posts: 1,473
Yer proper poem that be Mr Avtrician,
Happy Birthday Mr Ian
Raining proper here now.
Two abreast.
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Old 17th Mar 2015, 10:31
  #1009 (permalink)  
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alderney
Age: 57
Posts: 80
Hoppy Burfday ian16th

Lovely dog walk this morning, saw a largish pod of bottlenose dolphins. There have been loads reported recently and the second siting I've had in the last month.
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Old 17th Mar 2015, 10:45
  #1010 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Florida
Age: 67
Posts: 32
Happy Birthday Ian!!
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Old 17th Mar 2015, 10:58
  #1011 (permalink)  

Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 354
Happy happies, Ian! Have a lovely day.

Yon poem puts me in mind of another ... a bush poem by Murray Hartin.

Here's a tale of Billy Hays from out near Alice Springs
A wild young ringer, he'd done some crazy things
He'd bucked bulls over fences, rode a colt up Ayres Rock
See his legs weren't made for walking they were made for riding stock

A legend round the rodeo from Allaroon to Broome
An untried horse at 6am was saddle broke by noon
No form of equine foolery he wasn't game to try
Only one thing ever spooked him,
He was way too scared to fly.

Well if I was meant to fly he said
I'd have feathers and a beak,
You fly and waste a day and I'll drive and waste a week
I hear they're safe as houses and mechanically they're sound
But I don't see no rope or bridle so aye, I'm staying on the ground

One day Bill got a call from his mate in Adelaide,
He'd got his girl in trouble and the wedding cards were played
He said, Mate I don't care how you do it you can beg or steel or borrow
But Mate you're gunna have to catch the plane, coz the big day is tomorrow.

Billy cursed and spat it "That dopey bloody coot!
He knows I'll jump on anything that's coming out a chute
I've caught stallions that'd kill you, caught bulls gone off their brain
But I never thought there'd come a day I'd have to catch a plane!"

Bill legged it to the airport and thought "Well this is it"
The lady at the counter asked "Where would you like to sit?"
He said "You know that black box thing they always seem to find
"Well you can stick me right in side it if you wouldn't bloody mind"

She gave a friendly smile and "Sir I'll just take your bag"
He said "I don't bloody think so, 'n by the way it's called a swag."
Bill was sweatin' buckets when they finally cleared the strip
He had his seatbelt on that tight he was bleedin' from the hip

But when they levelled out he stopped shakin at the knees
Looked around , relaxed 'n thought "This flyin' game's a breeze"
We clipped his belt undone, stretched out in his seat
Well he couldn't stretch that much 'cause his swag was at his feet.

Then the captain crackled something, Bill asked the hostess what was said
"Sir you'd better buckle up there's some turbulence ahead:
Turbulence - what's that?" "Sir it's pockets caused by heat
"And when it gets severe it can throw you from your seat."

"Throw me, I'll be buggered," Bill pushed his seat right back,
Wrapped his legs around his swag and stuck his left hand through the strap
He jammed down his Akubra, he was ready now to ride
Then things got pretty bumpy and Billy yelled "Outside!"

The plane she dropped a thousand feet, bounced up five hundred more
When his head hit the roof, his backside hit the floor!
"I've rode all through the Territory and never come unstuck
So give me all you've got big bird - buck you bastard buck!"

And while the passengers were screaming in fear of certain death
Billy whooped and hollered 'til he near ran out of breath
You'd have thought that canvas swag was welded to his ass
And before the ringer knew it he's bucked up to business class

There seemed no way to tame this creature, it had ten gears and reverse
But that didn't worry Billy, he just bucked on through to first
He did somersaults with twists on this mongrel mount from hell
He yelled out to the pilot "for Christ sake ring the bell!"

Bill was bleeding from the bugle, he had cuts above both eyes
If you weren't there on the spot ya probably think I'm tellin' lies
He'd been upside down and inside out, done flips and triple spins
Ya might a' seen some great rides in your time but hands down Billy wins

The flight returned to normal, Bill was flat out on the deck
Still stuck to his swag but he looked a bloody wreck
He pulled himself together, stood up straight and raised his hat
He said "I've had some tough trips in me day but never one like that."

"an eight-second spin in Alice proves your made of sturdy stuff
But I was on there a near a minute and I reckon that's enough."
The first class folk were dumbstruck at this crazy ringer's feat
but Bill just grabbed a crownie and walked back to his seat.

Now years have passed and Bill's long give the buckin' game away
Too many breaks and dusty miles for far too little pay
Now plane's are not a worry, in fact he'd rather fly than ride
"N when you talk about his maiden voyage his chest puffs out with pride

"You can talk about your Rocky Neds or that old Chainsaw bloke
I'd ride 'em both without a rope and roll a bloody smoke
There's cowboys 'round who think they're hot, well they aint tasted heat
"Til they've ridden time on Turbulence at 30,000 feet."
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Old 17th Mar 2015, 11:02
  #1012 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: lancs.UK
Age: 72
Posts: 1,196
Good wishes to all those afflicted by the Grim Reaper's attempts to harvest early. Hopefully the Medics will prevail. the birthday people have scored another one agin the scytheman.
Concerned that FRANK has vanished wordlessly - anyone heard anything?....Nigel ? Ibbie?
Have just been running some wiring in an attic, looked like a 1950's coalman , last night....have another session, yet, to insulate it. will be a trial to get glass wool between the lats and plasterboard, but have a cunning plan to sandwich it between laminate boards, slide down past all the slate-nails, then withdraw the boards.....we shall see.
having a toil with a tumble-drier...fitted a new drum and new bearings, reassembled and now the damned thing doesn't heat....yep, I did put the plugs back in and the heater checked out OK......Keeps me busy! Next week, replace a burnt exhaust valve on a Mk.6 Bentley.
scroll wheel keeps jittering....is it the mouse or the new superputer acting up?
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Old 17th Mar 2015, 12:03
  #1013 (permalink)  

Pilot of the Airwaves
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Close to the Med
Age: 70
Posts: 811
Suffered a migrane this morning. However normal service now restored.

Answering machine in operation at TbF farmstead. Will try again later

Notebook war won. Repaired free of charge and now on way from Uk to Spain at suppliers expense, next day delivery with the men in Brown.

Last edited by IB4138; 17th Mar 2015 at 12:45.
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Old 17th Mar 2015, 12:56
  #1014 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 1998
Location: Ex-pat Aussie in the UK
Posts: 4,529
TRAB force to Mr Gupta as well. All the best for the treatment.

Half-ish skiing trip completed, two days I'd skiing and thighs are feeling it. No injuries to report
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Old 17th Mar 2015, 13:09
  #1015 (permalink)  
Resident insomniac
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: N54 58 34 W02 01 21
Age: 75
Posts: 1,859
a cunning plan to sandwich it between laminate boards, slide down past all the slate-nails, then withdraw the boards.
That's how I did it many years ago.

I've had several unbelievably draughty houses that had gales blowing between the outer walls and the inner cladding (dry lining) and the eaves and the roofspace and I have 'floored' loft spaces (with appropriate insulation).

When I reflect on all the improvements that I have made to premises that I considered were to be my permanent dwellings for the rest of my life but then turned out to be but temporary settlements I feel thwarted.
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Old 17th Mar 2015, 13:48
  #1016 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Botswana & Greece
Age: 63
Posts: 940
Thank you HF.

Complete loss of street cred here. Getting off the boat with beer in one hand and jerry can in the other I slipped. Smashed my leg and arm and took a huge area of skin off my face. Blood everwhere, Hollywood dreams completely down the tube. Nurse in attendance of course so no problem. But, not only did I spill the beer but also the glass was broken. Not even the hippo attack achieved this. This is not acceptable. I am going to employ a butler to carry my beer in future. Actually it would be safer if he just carried me

The safari vehicle in the camp at the mo had an incident in Namibia two days ago. A local just jumped out in front of it. He managed to bend the bull bars. I wanted to go and see if there were teeth marks in the radiator but they wouldn't let me
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Old 17th Mar 2015, 14:00
  #1017 (permalink)  

Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Lancashire born. In Cebu now
Age: 66
Posts: 368
Good day all. In at 630am couldn't sleep. Got tomorrow off though post St. Patrick's day party.

Happy Birthday Ian.
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Old 17th Mar 2015, 15:26
  #1018 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Edinburgh and 3C
Age: 67
Posts: 195

Apart from nursery rhymes, the first poem I memorised was from a book of Shetland rhymes.

Auld Beanie sat afore da bed.
Da hammer fell and hit her head.
"I wonder what yon wis", she said.
"Dat wis da hammer", Hugh replied.
"If dat's da case, I maun be deid"
And so she died.

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Old 17th Mar 2015, 15:33
  #1019 (permalink)  

More than just an ATCO
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Up someone's nose
Age: 70
Posts: 1,768
Proper man's poem this which I learned in school*

When men grow old, and their .......

on second thoughts; might lead to a permanent ban.

* not all the learning was done in the classroom, I learned a fair bit round the back of the tennis court
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Old 17th Mar 2015, 15:38
  #1020 (permalink)  
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Switzerland
Posts: 142
Thank you, seacue, I'll remember that one.

Mr. Exascot this carelessness will not do - beer spilt indeed!

Checkers thanks for the update on the skiing - now what about the drinking? (With pictures preferably).
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