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Funerals?

Old 13th Mar 2014, 23:11
  #41 (permalink)  
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Old 13th Mar 2014, 23:24
  #42 (permalink)  
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I understand "where you're coming from" Admiral.

Perhaps "befitting" all the others who today might remain ignorant of one's own deeds and contributions to humanity...?!

But apparently even vultures are a very endangered species today. Not just in the UK but in Asia and Africa (I leave you to google why).

Myself, I'd be content to be burned off on a funeral pyre (not necessarily by the Ganges), like the American Indians that you're most familiar with perhaps.

What I definitely do not wish is for 17 year old medical students, organisations which collect vital organs etc. (or whatever) to use my remains as if they were no more than mere bones and rotting flesh...?! Unless I'm much mistaken, there exists an important trade in cadavers, not always well-regulated or controlled. I think many obtain some profit from this trading (often camouflaged as something more palatable), beginning with your local hospital and undertakers...
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Old 13th Mar 2014, 23:27
  #43 (permalink)  
 
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I suspect Keef has hit the nail on the head. I'm sure they're are rogue funeral directors, as their are nurses, vicars and PPRuNe'rs.

From memory, I seem to remember that there is an extra "layer" of accountability for funeral directors (code of conduct ?) that places a barrier between the traditional family business and the "quick buck" guy's.

I've met a few of 'em over the years, always refreshing to see how cheery they are :-)
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Old 13th Mar 2014, 23:30
  #44 (permalink)  
 
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A grave matter...

and PPRuNe'rs.
Shirley not!

Well, whatever the cost, at least we can thank funerals for this...


Caco
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Old 13th Mar 2014, 23:50
  #45 (permalink)  
 
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I wonder if anyone would believe me if I said that - 12 years ago - matelots on certain deployments stashed bodybags under their pits - for bodybags read - larger rectangular thick binbags.
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Old 14th Mar 2014, 00:05
  #46 (permalink)  
 
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Digressing ever so slightly, but many moons ago I was at a function with amongst others, a Funeral Director and his wife, and she drew the most attention because she wore more rings than an ancient Californian Redwood.

She had multiple rings on every finger of both hands, and they looked like older more traditional than modern, with the conclusion amongst the group I was with that she was probably the last one to close the coffin.
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Old 14th Mar 2014, 00:34
  #47 (permalink)  
 
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The way things are going with Russia cremation is a good possibility for us all
Cue more music. Not Schubert, admittedly, but Tom Lehrer!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrbv40ENU_o

and then

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frAEmhqdLFs
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Old 14th Mar 2014, 02:07
  #48 (permalink)  

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Cremation is the only option in most cities these days because the churchyards are full. I'm lucky in that this little rural corner has room for a few more centuries of burials yet at the current rate.

Cremation isn't my special subject - when the curtains close, I'm just about done. My understanding is that the cremation is pretty much immediate - certainly the same day. The coffin goes in too, which is why cremation coffins can't have brass handles and fittings.

There are strict rules about what happens with ashes, gold, etc. I remember when I had my "backstage tour" seeing some very large signs up making it very clear to everyone exactly what must be done.
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Old 14th Mar 2014, 02:47
  #49 (permalink)  
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Don't think we can leave our bodies to science now which was always a good deal for us skinflints

Maybe varies according to the area and if you have an arrangement with a teaching hospital? I don't know, but my eldest brother who is approaching the final stages of lung cancer, has given his remains to, I think, the hospital but could be a university.
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Old 14th Mar 2014, 03:42
  #50 (permalink)  
 
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Seems similar to what happens here in the US About 10 years back, a friend's Mom died uninsured, the family were all in dire circumstances financially which they made clear to the funeral folks- so much so that they were told to not expect full payment for as much as a year, and of course it had to be as cheap as possible. US$1200 did the whole thing with a local Church donating it's services and building for free and the ashes delivered to family in a cardboard box. At that time the cost of an average funeral and burial here was quoted in the local newspaper at US$15K, with elaborate ones easily doubling that. Over ten times as much just to have a marked hole in the ground and a religious service, none of which you're around to see when it happens

After offering their generic condolences, funeral parlors here ask if the deceased was insured, and always make certain to find out how much insurance there was so they can grab as much of it as they can. Costs for very similar services vary a lot based on the amount of insurance held, and they will all tell you that it's the very best price they can give you- all lies of course, right from the very start when they gave condolences while silently thinking "more partying money!"

Wills are another matter; if you die without one here the State takes 20% of the estate even if there is adequate insurance and they incur no costs Indigent burials by the State cost around US$1700 as of last year (taken from public records as part of a News investigation), which seems about right compared to my old friends Mom. Then their vultures go to work seeking the closest living relative who will be billed for that $1700 or so plus the cost of finding them (which can run into the thousands being that it's done by State personnel), and the State will seize your assets to get it

The best approach here is to have everything paid for before it happens, which you can do with all but costs for services and the engraving of dates on headstones, and it can be usually done in installments. A basic legal will keeps the State from ripping you off; self-done ones sold in kit form for under $20.

There have been many news investigations into these businesses and many problems unearthed with the State always saying they are going to fix things which they never do. There was even a crematorium that had about 100 unburned bodies on ice- all paid for and ashes given to relatives- some having been there well over a year. Nobody knows what the ashes given to the families were. Had they paid their electric bill the refrigeration wouldn't have gone out and the scam would have continued undiscovered, I'm sure. The State also recently closed down a discount casket store after receiving complaints from morticians that it was illegal under State law for anyone but a licensed funeral home to sell caskets. When their doors were closed, local casket prices literally doubled overnight, all knowing that they then had everyone by the short and curlys. I had a relative die during that time-frame, and only the many personal assurances of bad things happening to them caused the funeral home to honor their quoted casket price from the week before. My kinfolk on that side have a rather nasty reputation so they knew we weren't playing games

It costs too much to be born. It costs too much to live. And it costs far too much to die. And all for what? In a couple centuries or less (and for most of us a lot less) nobody is going to know or care one bit about you or me wherever whatever is left of us is at. But I'll bet they will face similar costs, similar problems, and be making the same complaints that we are now because laws condoning greed will never stop.
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Old 14th Mar 2014, 03:45
  #51 (permalink)  
 
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"After offering their generic condolences, funeral parlors here ask if the deceased was insured, and always make certain to find out how much insurance there was so they can grab as much of it as they can."

Never met a poor funeral home owner yet !
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Old 14th Mar 2014, 04:02
  #52 (permalink)  
 
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I am a believer in the "Death with Dignity" concept. So would like to feel that I would be able, when I feel my time has come hopefully in Winter, to wander off into some large forest with spade in hand. Dig me a hole in a nice spot, lie down, take some pills, drag some bracken and stuff over me, and drift off.

Perhaps to be found years later by some itinerant lone walker. Said walker choosing to make a small cairn with available rocks and then walk on, forgetting to tell anyone of their discovery.
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Old 14th Mar 2014, 04:07
  #53 (permalink)  
 
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Alison

May I make a suggestion. Take someone with you or get someone to come to where you did it not long after and bury you. Animals in this country tend to do the deed on you faster than decomposing at the same time as spreading bits of you far and wide.


For me, cremation.
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Old 14th Mar 2014, 04:16
  #54 (permalink)  
 
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Wasn't planning on doing it here. Preferably some cold inhospitable region of Tasmania, perhaps. Although preferred choice might be a forest in Scotland. That's if they still have forests in Scotland. Couldn't think of anything worse than some daggy tropical rainforest in Oz. Given the choice I would far rather be scoffed by wolves than worms.

.

Last edited by alisoncc; 14th Mar 2014 at 04:35.
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Old 14th Mar 2014, 05:28
  #55 (permalink)  
Man Bilong Balus long PNG
 
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Had to organise my Mother's funeral just over a year ago. Church service and straight out into the grave yard. Just over $5,000.

A number of years ago a good friend decided for some reason it was all too much and drank himself to death. He had organised his own 'send off' as it were.

After a secular funeral service he was cremated and the ashes taken to the local airfield. I taxied the glider tug (Pawnee with a 250hp engine) over to a spot on the airfield and shut down.

His ashes were put onto a large sheet of timber, placed under the Pawnee's tail wheel and I stood on the brakes with stick held hard back and started up!

It took about three minutes at 2200rpm to blow the ashes far and wide.

I won't put here how the exercise was described.
And it was the deceased who described it thus!
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Old 14th Mar 2014, 06:35
  #56 (permalink)  
 
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Sea funeral

I told my family to burn me and give a sea funeral......
If too expensive, I know they will flush me down the bowl........
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Old 14th Mar 2014, 09:14
  #57 (permalink)  
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Wonder what happened to the idea that did the rounds a while back of dead folks being buried vertically to save space,quite like the idea of heading for the hereafter standing up.
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Old 14th Mar 2014, 09:21
  #58 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by tony draper View Post
Wonder what happened to the idea that did the rounds a while back of dead folks being buried vertically to save space,quite like the idea of heading for the hereafter standing up.

Didn't some Irish bloke who runs an airline want to have his passengers standing up so he could make more money
by loading more on board?
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Old 14th Mar 2014, 10:20
  #59 (permalink)  
Man Bilong Balus long PNG
 
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dead folks being buried vertically to save space,quite like the idea of heading for the hereafter standing up.
Herr Draper;There was a bikie movie* made here in Australia in the 1970's which featured a Satanist bikie gang that buried its dead members standing up so they 'didn't take any s**t from the devil lying down.'


* Movie was called Stone
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Old 14th Mar 2014, 11:18
  #60 (permalink)  
 
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Wasn't planning on doing it here. Preferably some cold inhospitable region of Tasmania
In view of 500N's comment and the local wildlife in that area, you really could expect to meet the devil fairly quickly.
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