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Gulf Country's test to see if you are gay

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Gulf Country's test to see if you are gay

Old 10th Oct 2013, 03:47
  #101 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Nowhere near Shinbone Waterhole
Posts: 201
when Spit Polished boots...
I found setting fire to 'em afterwards produced
a very superior sheen that was the envy of flight
sergeant drill instructors and WOD's alike.

You would only need a 2 sec burst of flame and
then let the slightly molten Nugget set for about
5 mins.

I hated ironing my uniform and instead I would pay
some WAAF cadet to do it. The worst was making
up a bedroll - mine always got tossed every bloody
day during inspection!
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Old 10th Oct 2013, 04:29
  #102 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
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Sorry 500N about the time stamp arse-about-peak.

I went to change the post, screwed it up, rewrote it
again, screwed up, hit the wrong button so decided
to delete and start over again. Plus that "reason for
editing" thingy pisses me off a bit.

Yep there were two schools of melting polish - each
was as good as the other but mine involved the least
elbow grease. The duration of flame afterwards was
an acquired art, but once gained made shiny boots a
piece of cake.
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Old 10th Oct 2013, 07:58
  #103 (permalink)  

ThRedBearOne
 
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Any test will only be valid if carried out with state of the arse technology!
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Old 10th Oct 2013, 13:37
  #104 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
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Angry

Wow. Glad it's not niggers we are talking about like this
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Old 10th Oct 2013, 13:47
  #105 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
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500N:

I was not a veggie for 10 years mate. Just because the ex refused to cook anything other than veggies, or what-not, doesn't mean I didn't slap a steak on the grill, or burgers or whatever.

Cooking on the grill is the only way I know how to cook. Stand me in front of a stove or oven and I quickly become disoriented, agitated and I then start reaching for a weapon to use on the stove or oven. (In order to blow it up preferably.)

Like I mentioned in a previous thread: I can readily burn water. But a grill is a different matter completely.

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Old 10th Oct 2013, 13:51
  #106 (permalink)  
 
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Melting shoe polish? Setting fire to ones boots? My oh my.

The highest gloss shine I got on my boots was obtained by dipping a cotton ball in the lid of the polish which contained water. Apply wet cotton ball to polish and then polish to boots.
360 degree polishing motion and after about 30 minutes, voila, a boot you could shave in.

No fire, or flamethrower, required.
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Old 10th Oct 2013, 14:14
  #107 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: London, UK
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Well that test is rubbish. I only scored 52% and I am gay. Guess my total lack of interest in talentless boy-bands and reality tv marked me down.
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Old 10th Oct 2013, 14:57
  #108 (permalink)  
 
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ELondonPax:

Guess my total lack of interest in talentless boy-bands and reality tv marked me down.
A couple of questions about Norma Jean and you'd have nailed it eh?
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Old 10th Oct 2013, 14:58
  #109 (permalink)  
 
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Like Greenpeace the gays have become very unscrupulous with their methods to represent their cause. For example, my English teacher used to say the gays ruined a good word. This statement would cause most gays to start jumping up and down screaming redneck homophobe, however the truth is that he also taught English literature and very much liked the original meaning of that word as it is commonly used in old written pieces of work without the sexual connotation.

Recently, and without any provocation, I was attacked by a gay executive playing the victim and lost my job. So I took this cowardly opportunistic bully's company to court and received significant compensation. I really didn't want to go through the hoops and stresses of the whole court thing, and dealing with threats from their overpaid lawyer whom I also put back in his box.

However, this wasn't the first time I've been attacked by these sad kind of victim playing queers who in Australia seem to have a well informed closed network. For example, there used to be a gay waiter at our local coffee shop who would often be very condescending and confrontational towards me for reasons unknown. But as I knew the owner of the shop, who was a very friendly Italian lady, I just ignored his negative ways. This went on for six months, then one day after I ordered my coffee, he brought it out and put it on my table and then unexpectedly punch me in the back of the head. My immediate thought was to put his head through the coffee shop door but when I noticed two of his bulked up buddies sitting at a nearby table I spotted the coward's trap - 3 against 1. So instead I wrote a letter to my community newspaper who just so happened to be doing a feature on violence in our streets and it was published. The gay waiter lost his job and deservedly so.

Sadly there's more of these same kinds of victim playing incidents that I can describe...but I think you get my drift. They are not doing themselves or their cause any favours and have lost my support.
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Old 10th Oct 2013, 15:00
  #110 (permalink)  
 
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360 degree polishing motion and after about 30 minutes,
30 bloody minutes RGB? Too much like hard work!
Mine was converted from caked-on bullring dust to
a blinding shine in 10 min of such gleam it would put
Mr Sheen to shame. The 500N school would've took
about an extra 5-7 mins owing to the fact they melted
their polish using the heroine cooking spoon method.

I should add WAAF cadets used to shine their booties
same way as you described...and their purses too!
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Old 10th Oct 2013, 15:09
  #111 (permalink)  
 
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...using the heroine cooking spoon...

You cook your heroines?

Dashed uncivilised. We generally give ours a medal and a pat on the back and may even buy them dinner if they possess a nice rack.
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Old 10th Oct 2013, 15:18
  #112 (permalink)  
 
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SRT wrote:

even buy them dinner if they possess a nice rack.
A rack of lamb?

mikedreamer wrote:

I should add WAAF cadets used to shine their booties
same way as you described...and their purses too!
Imagine my fist. Imagine it clenched tightly. Now imagine the middle finger slowly starting to arise from its slumber, only to stand stalwart and erect in the middle of my fist.

Get the idea?

Everyone who attempted to obtain the coveted "day pass" (24 hours with no duty) shined their boots according to the method I described.

Or would you like to tell some of my old former colleagues that such a method is girl-like?
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Old 10th Oct 2013, 15:30
  #113 (permalink)  
 
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Location: Just north of Chester, UK.
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I took the test and am apparently 40% gay...

Which is odd, because it's my wife who bats for both teams!
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Old 10th Oct 2013, 16:18
  #114 (permalink)  
 
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Captivep... a wife who bats for both
teams? You lucky lucky bastard!

RGB - it means you have the patience
and discipline of a WAAF, which is to
be admired since we lot were in such
a hurry to get our boots flame-grilled
that we never to took the time to ken
what patience and tenacity was.

You can retract your finger now...
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Old 10th Oct 2013, 16:32
  #115 (permalink)  
 
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Finger retracted. back to a normal clenched fist.
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Old 10th Oct 2013, 17:32
  #116 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: cowtown
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The North Sea oil rig gay test is much more simple:
How can you tell if a man is Gay ?
If he sticks his tonge down your throat when you kiss him.

Or as my best pals used to say "There is a homosexual working on this rig, give me a kiss and I will tell you his name"
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Old 10th Oct 2013, 17:35
  #117 (permalink)  
 
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The remainder, now only several hundred strong, was renamed the Women's Royal Air Force on 1 February 1949.
mikedreamer787 I hope you meant WRAF and not WAAF.
or you got some poor old retired WAAF biddy to iron yer shirts
Incidentally, having witnessed some disasters with the flame method, I preferred
the spit and polish routine

Last edited by goudie; 10th Oct 2013 at 17:37.
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Old 10th Oct 2013, 17:44
  #118 (permalink)  
 
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" Or would you like to tell some of my old former colleagues that such a method is girl-like? "


You mean "Ranger" like ?


Have a nice day !
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Old 10th Oct 2013, 18:14
  #119 (permalink)  
 
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500N:

No, Ranger-like. Not Aussie SF-like which is synonymous with girl-like.
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Old 10th Oct 2013, 18:59
  #120 (permalink)  
 
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Stop willy waving you two..it's so gay!
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