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Old 11th Apr 2012, 11:51
  #1681 (permalink)  
 
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being totally convinced that one is .....
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Old 11th Apr 2012, 12:00
  #1682 (permalink)  
 
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a brilliant author, so Plod sat down with a quill pen and wrote: "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife"; wow, he thought, that'll make the start of a good book some day ...
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Old 11th Apr 2012, 13:38
  #1683 (permalink)  
 
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.....but in the meantime i think i'll just pay a visit to "Mrs Muggins Home For Wayward Young Ladies" and try my luck with.......
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Old 11th Apr 2012, 13:48
  #1684 (permalink)  
 
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an attempt to scrounge a free cooked breakfast at Fanny Fernackapan's .....
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Old 11th Apr 2012, 14:21
  #1685 (permalink)  
 
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but he was spotted by his old mucker, Sgt Boot "lookin' for muffin' fer nuffin' again, I see"...
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Old 11th Apr 2012, 14:32
  #1686 (permalink)  
 
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ships he shouted .....
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Old 11th Apr 2012, 14:42
  #1687 (permalink)  
 
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confusing an empty beer bottle with a telescope........
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Old 11th Apr 2012, 15:19
  #1688 (permalink)  
 
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......which was required to see whether or not the window had its curtains drawn, and if they did not, what might be seen beyond.........
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Old 11th Apr 2012, 15:46
  #1689 (permalink)  
 
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was enough to make even the .....
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Old 11th Apr 2012, 16:39
  #1690 (permalink)  
 
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smallest pupils dilate...
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Old 11th Apr 2012, 16:48
  #1691 (permalink)  
 
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...as the beer bottle was not, in fact, empty, but contained quite a lot of.....
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Old 11th Apr 2012, 17:24
  #1692 (permalink)  
 
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politician's promises, which as everyone knows are insubstantial at best, and being almost transparent are like gossamer fairies' wings without visible means of support, a whole bottleful not even amounting to a row of beans ...
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Old 11th Apr 2012, 18:01
  #1693 (permalink)  
 
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beansprouts in a stir fry .....
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Old 11th Apr 2012, 18:11
  #1694 (permalink)  
 
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or Nasi Goreng, as they call it in Djakarta; DC was more used to Eton Mess, but thought he ought to go native, so ordered one. Unfortunately when he placed his order, with his Home County vowels it sounded more like "Nasty? Go hang!", the effect on the rest of the restaurant was electric...
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Old 11th Apr 2012, 19:07
  #1695 (permalink)  
 
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fans whirring left right and centre.......
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Old 11th Apr 2012, 20:29
  #1696 (permalink)  
 
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even Lady Bracknell was furiously waving hers and peering into her handbag for......
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Old 11th Apr 2012, 23:07
  #1697 (permalink)  
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glasses so she could use her mobile to call the.....
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Old 11th Apr 2012, 23:26
  #1698 (permalink)  
 
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local taxi firm some rather rude names .....
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Old 12th Apr 2012, 08:00
  #1699 (permalink)  
 
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"Snotrags!" was not what one expected to hear from lips of a lady, but Plod was beginning to wonder whether we had issues of gender identity here, the the shadow above the upper lip was suspiciously dark, the adam's apple, a little too prominent....
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Old 12th Apr 2012, 10:00
  #1700 (permalink)  
 
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a touch of the "Danny La Rues" it seemed, Plod strongly suspected criminal proclivities of some kind, why even the fan that "she" eventually dragged out from the depths of the handbag was easily recognisable as Lady Windermere's, reported stolen last week by a certain Oscar Wilde, believed to be some sort of electrician specialising in AC/DC current switching ...
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