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Friday Jokes

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Friday Jokes

Old 20th Aug 2012, 15:22
  #1461 (permalink)  
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The thirty year old original version : (eats shoots and leaves) did make sense and was marginally funny
I am with you WF. And, you could tell that one to the vicar or indeed his wife over afternoon tea
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Old 20th Aug 2012, 15:47
  #1462 (permalink)  
 
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I thought the joke was in the term "koala bear", because koalas are not bears.
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Old 20th Aug 2012, 15:49
  #1463 (permalink)  
 
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The thirty year old original version : (eats shoots and leaves) did make sense and was marginally funny
And she looks it up. K - Ko - Koala bear: little Australian animal, eats bushes and leaves.
But you all seem to have missed the point that it is the misuse of the comma (eats, shoots and leaves) that makes it funny in the first place - and spawned a whole book of the same title in the process.

Eats, Shoots & Leaves - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Old 20th Aug 2012, 17:35
  #1464 (permalink)  
 
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Is eating bushes and rug munching the same thing?
Apologies for any absent commas.
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Old 20th Aug 2012, 17:53
  #1465 (permalink)  
 
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"30 years ago"
45 years ago it was a wombat, which eats, roots, shoots and leaves
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Old 20th Aug 2012, 18:31
  #1466 (permalink)  
 
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I thought the joke was in the term "koala bear", because koalas are not bears
I heard that they were from the drop-bear family, if not what are they?
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Old 21st Aug 2012, 08:57
  #1467 (permalink)  
 
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I heard that they were from the drop-bear family, if not what are they?
They are marsupials, a sub-class of mammals with the common characteristic of carrying their young in a pouch. Thus, a koala is closely related to a wombat and, more distantly so, to a kangaroo or wallaby.
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Old 21st Aug 2012, 09:08
  #1468 (permalink)  
 
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Koalas taste a lot better than Wombats as long as you use a slow heat.
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Old 21st Aug 2012, 10:24
  #1469 (permalink)  
 
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And being eucalyptus flavoured, they are good for sore throats as well.
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Old 21st Aug 2012, 11:07
  #1470 (permalink)  
 
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Plus, they come with their own gum balls.
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Old 21st Aug 2012, 18:08
  #1471 (permalink)  
 
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Plus, they come with their own gum balls.
is that why they taste so chewy?
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Old 21st Aug 2012, 19:29
  #1472 (permalink)  
 
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LiveLeak.com - (Joke) of the day for August 21st, 2012
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Old 21st Aug 2012, 21:23
  #1473 (permalink)  
 
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A young man from Victoria , BC was hired as the lifeguard at the
pool at the Prime Minister's residence at 24 Sussex Drive.

The Harper family was making use of the pool when one of their two
children encountered some difficulty and cried for help.

The lifeguard ignored the cries, so the Prime Minister himself had
to plunge into the pool to rescue the boy.

Afterwards, Harper grilled the lifeguard. "You stupid! Didn't you
see that my son was in trouble?"


"Yes, sir, but I can't swim.

"How the hell did you land the job of lifeguard then?"


''I'm bilingual.


Probably more truth than humour
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Old 22nd Aug 2012, 05:34
  #1474 (permalink)  
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"Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly. "

That was from the joke competition runner up, Tim Vine, but the winning joke was something about giving kids a bad name being Posh and Becks. Oy vey


BBC News - Stewart Francis's Posh and Becks joke Fringe 'funniest'

Last edited by Loose rivets; 22nd Aug 2012 at 05:37.
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Old 22nd Aug 2012, 07:34
  #1475 (permalink)  
 
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Victor
Even so, they are still part of the drop bear family and you still
have to be wary of them dropping on you and clawing your
face when out bush.
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Old 22nd Aug 2012, 07:52
  #1476 (permalink)  
 
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On further thought, in the thirty year old (or more) version, it was a panda.

But one can hardly describe the last few remarks (including this one) as funny. Back to the jokes.
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Old 22nd Aug 2012, 11:10
  #1477 (permalink)  
 
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100 Best Jokes In The World

Some of these are really very good...

100 Best Jokes In The World - GQ Comedy Special - GQ.COM (UK)
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Old 22nd Aug 2012, 13:07
  #1478 (permalink)  
 
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Why is it called a "pussy" she asked ??

... because it is warm and soft and furry and usually smells of fish !!
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Old 22nd Aug 2012, 17:35
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There are three types of people in the world, those who can add up and those who can't.
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Old 22nd Aug 2012, 18:52
  #1480 (permalink)  
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Heard at a conference of mathmaticians held at *** university: "The group will divide into two halves; the larger half will..."
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