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Friday Jokes

Jet Blast Topics that don't fit the other forums. Rules of Engagement apply.

Friday Jokes

Old 5th Nov 2019, 11:46
  #13141 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Max Cont Thrust
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Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume?

Me: Thatís when I went to Yale.

Interviewer: Thatís impressive. You are hired.

Me: Thanks. I really need this Yob.
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Old 5th Nov 2019, 21:34
  #13142 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by charliegolf View Post
Mr H was pulled over by the cops. Do you know how fast you were going?
No, but I know exactly where I am.

You were doing 80mph sir.
Bugger. Now I'm lost.

Boom boom!
Reminded of the blonde that was pulled over...

Do you know how fast you were going?
No sir, my speedometer is broken.
You were doing 80 miles per hour Miss.
But I wasn't going to be out that long.
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Old 5th Nov 2019, 21:46
  #13143 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by 11Fan View Post
Reminded of the blonde that was pulled over...

Do you know how fast you were going?
No sir, my speedometer is broken.
You were doing 80 miles per hour Miss.
But I wasn't going to be out that long.
Reminds me of another...



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Old 5th Nov 2019, 22:44
  #13144 (permalink)  
 
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Then there was the blonde who was knitting as she drove along in her convertible. A motor cycle cop pulls alongside and calls out "Pull over!" The blonde looks up and says "No, officer, cardigan."
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Old 7th Nov 2019, 08:17
  #13145 (permalink)  
 
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loving technology

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Old 7th Nov 2019, 09:05
  #13146 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
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aviation content below

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Old 8th Nov 2019, 21:33
  #13147 (permalink)  
 
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What's the difference between a Kebab Shop and a cl!toris?

A bloke can find a kebab shop when he's p!ssed.
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Old 9th Nov 2019, 10:50
  #13148 (permalink)  

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It's a hybrid of a Renault Clio and a Ford Taurus.
Many years ago, when one was involved in the Air Display "circus", there was a fashion for fake name badges.
Examples were Dan Winterland, Pete O'Head and J Y Kelly (you need to think about the last one....)

One of the girls on the circuit - a wing-walker IIRC - had a name badge with "Cleo Taurus" on it.......
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Old 9th Nov 2019, 12:24
  #13149 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by teeteringhead View Post
One of the girls on the circuit - a wing-walker IIRC - had a name badge with "Cleo Taurus" on it.......
Wasn't Lesley Gale was it? I seem to recall her previous occupation was quite revealing. Also recall Ms Gale was superseded on the Stearman's top wing by Ms Tempest - and those fake name badges smack of Tempest senior!
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Old 11th Nov 2019, 16:59
  #13150 (permalink)  
 
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We came across an old family bible in a clear out; they were used to record family events in their time in the 19th Century and before.

There is a page for Births, and i thought I would share the religious thoughts at the top and bottom of the page;





I'm not sure that these days we all want our quivers to be that full........
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Old 11th Nov 2019, 19:11
  #13151 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by old,not bold View Post
We came across an old family bible in a clear out; they were used to record family events in their time in the 19th Century and before.

There is a page for Births, and i thought I would share the religious thoughts at the top and bottom of the page;





I'm not sure that these days we all want our quivers to be that full........
Have you read Barchester Towers?

One of the characters is Mr Quiverful, a poor clergyman with 14 children.
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Old 11th Nov 2019, 20:14
  #13152 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
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Originally Posted by Sallyann1234 View Post
Have you read Barchester Towers?

One of the characters is Mr Quiverful, a poor clergyman with 14 children.
One of the relations on my wife's side has 21 and that is post war.
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Old 11th Nov 2019, 20:36
  #13153 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
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Originally Posted by Pontius Navigator View Post
One of the relations on my wife's side has 21 and that is post war.

All out of the same person?
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Old 11th Nov 2019, 21:41
  #13154 (permalink)  
 
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That's the risk of living in an area with poor TV reception...Ö.
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Old 11th Nov 2019, 22:34
  #13155 (permalink)  
 
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... and fecund milkmen!
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Old 12th Nov 2019, 06:59
  #13156 (permalink)  
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Is that what is meant by a housewife asking for extra cream?
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Old 12th Nov 2019, 10:26
  #13157 (permalink)  

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Wasn't Lesley Gale was it?
think it was treadi - it was certainly her sort of time.

ISTR some bad - if entirely predictable - dits about "Gale Warnings"!
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Old 12th Nov 2019, 11:09
  #13158 (permalink)  
 
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Wasn't Lesley Gale was it?
Now there's a name from my wicked past at Peterborough Parachute Centre in the 80's....lovely, fun girl
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Old 13th Nov 2019, 15:27
  #13159 (permalink)  
 
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Not sure if these photos count as jokes or not, but they did make me chuckle. Taken from this story: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-49690173


Grab life by the....



He's right behind me, isn't he?
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Old 13th Nov 2019, 17:14
  #13160 (permalink)  
 
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As one who once had an overenthusiastic cat, that first pic did not make me chuckle, but shudder.
Per

Last edited by Ancient Mariner; 13th Nov 2019 at 19:43.
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