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Friday Jokes

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Friday Jokes

Old 11th Jun 2019, 01:30
  #12901 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: shiny side up
Posts: 431
A Mexican Magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three.

Uno,

Dos,

Poof!

He disappears without a tres.
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Old 11th Jun 2019, 02:14
  #12902 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
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As Her Majesty is clambering into the state carriage, one of the horses lets fly with abandon, covering the coach in a hot wafting pong.
”I am frightfully sorry about that!” she exclaims, glancing back at Donald Trump who is about to board.
”No problem, Liz. Know what? I thought it was the horse!” he gallantly replies.
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Old 12th Jun 2019, 07:21
  #12903 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Hampshire
Age: 72
Posts: 795
I mentioned on another thread yesterday how, during a downpour of yet more rain and flood warnings all over the area, an A319 flew over my house, en route to Farnborough, with the reg G-NOAH. Now there was an appropriate registration!
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Old 12th Jun 2019, 07:24
  #12904 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
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Originally Posted by KelvinD View Post
I mentioned on another thread yesterday how, during a downpour of yet more rain and flood warnings all over the area, an A319 flew over my house, en route to Farnborough, with the reg G-NOAH. Now there was an appropriate registration!
I bet that one flew over some peoples ' heads.
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Old 12th Jun 2019, 07:40
  #12905 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reading, UK
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Originally Posted by Pontius Navigator View Post
I bet that one flew over some peoples ' heads.
In an arc, presumably ...
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Old 12th Jun 2019, 08:45
  #12906 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 83
Did it have this painted on the side of the fuselage:
"Après moi, le déluge"?
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Old 12th Jun 2019, 10:52
  #12907 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Following the sun and skiing... No snow involved just Spending the Kids Inheritance!
Age: 75
Posts: 175
An Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bakery.

The Englishman steals three buns, puts them in his pocket and leaves. He said to the Irishman, "That took great skill and guile to steal those buns. The owner didn't even see me."

The Irishman replied, "That's simple thievery. I'll show you how to do it the honest way and get the same results."

The Irishman then called out to the owner of the bakery and said, "Sir, I want to show you a magic trick." The owner was intrigued so he came over to see the magic trick.

The Irishman asked for a bun and then proceeded to eat it. He asked two more times and after eating them the owner said, "OK my friend. Where's the magic trick?"

The Irishman replied, "Look in the Englishman's pockets!"
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Old 12th Jun 2019, 13:09
  #12908 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 83
A while ago well known weekly aviation magazine (apologies again, WingNut60!) had a comment on a Belgian registered King Air: OO-LET "... the dogs out?"!!
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Old 12th Jun 2019, 13:25
  #12909 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reading, UK
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Originally Posted by LowNSlow View Post
There are 623 aircraft on G-INFO with the registration starting G-AY!
Of which only about 20% are current. Most are so old that they were registered in innocence ...

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Old 12th Jun 2019, 13:46
  #12910 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Southampton
Posts: 684
Originally Posted by DaveReidUK View Post
Of which only about 20% are current. Most are so old that they were registered in innocence ...
Happy days.


Obligatory joke:
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”

Patient: “OK.”

Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.”
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Old 12th Jun 2019, 20:52
  #12911 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 59°09N 002°38W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 76
Posts: 811

Why the Roomba is so popular
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Old 12th Jun 2019, 22:18
  #12912 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: California
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A classic representation of brownian movement !.
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Old 12th Jun 2019, 22:26
  #12913 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Permanent Newbie
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Originally Posted by fleigle View Post
A classic representation of brownian movement !.
No shit Sherlock...
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Old 12th Jun 2019, 22:26
  #12914 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: UK
Posts: 1
Originally Posted by fleigle View Post
A classic representation of brownian movement !.
'Motion' seems to cover it so much better, given the context!

Last edited by pilotmike; 13th Jun 2019 at 06:34.
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Old 13th Jun 2019, 12:14
  #12915 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Germany
Age: 72
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Nah, that was definitely a "movement."

Trust me; I have seen a few. 25 years in Nigeria ....
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Old 13th Jun 2019, 16:10
  #12916 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Originally Posted by DaveReidUK View Post
In an arc, presumably ...
Respect! Respect!

Jack
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Old 14th Jun 2019, 04:50
  #12917 (permalink)  
 
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Old 15th Jun 2019, 04:10
  #12918 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Mainland
Posts: 27
"Have some fun with your life: call in sick to places you don't even work at."
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Old 15th Jun 2019, 10:26
  #12919 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Following the sun and skiing... No snow involved just Spending the Kids Inheritance!
Age: 75
Posts: 175
Fun, but it can backfire badly, At the first company I worked for we had to physically sign a sheet as we entered the department. for our 9.00 start. The boss used to allow a 15 minute grace and at 9.15 would draw a line across the page. Sign below the line and you were considered late. We used to take turns to sign in anyone who was missing, until the day that we signed in a colleague who, unknown to us, had died during the night. No doubt these days, thanks to Facebook, Twitter, etc. we would have known before we even left home, but then we were left with some explaining to do.
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Old 15th Jun 2019, 10:29
  #12920 (permalink)  
Gnome de PPRuNe
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Too close to Croydon for comfort
Age: 56
Posts: 6,417
Originally Posted by Tigger4Me View Post
until the day that we signed in a colleague who, unknown to us, had died during the night.
He was late then...

Just draw the line above his name...
treadigraph is online now  

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