Go Back  PPRuNe Forums > PPRuNe Social > Jet Blast
Reload this Page >

Friday Jokes

Jet Blast Topics that don't fit the other forums. Rules of Engagement apply.

Friday Jokes

Old 7th Jun 2019, 16:04
  #12901 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Delta of Venus
Posts: 396
"Last week outside Tesco's I found a lost wallet that contained £50 cash but nothing to identify who lost it. I pondered over what I should do, hand it in to the supermarket or treat it as a windfall and pocket the cash. I then thought to myself what would Jesus have done?? So I promptly walked into Tesco and turned it into wine...."

Private jet is offline  
Old 8th Jun 2019, 12:26
  #12902 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: uk
Posts: 1,623
Brexit for Medics

Physicians were unable to reach a consensus: Should Brexit take place?

The Allergists were in favour of scratching it but the Dermatologists were advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had a sort of gut feeling about it but the Neurologists thought that the Brexiteers had a lot of nerve.

Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain that everyone was labouring under a misconception while the Opthamologists considered the idea shortsighted.

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body" while the Paediatricians said, "Oh, grow up".

The Psychiatrists thought that the whole idea was madness while the Radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.

The Plastic Surgeons opined that Mrs Mays's proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter".

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward but the Urologists were p*ssed off at the whole idea.

Anesthesiologists though it was all gas and those lofty Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, those lofty Proctologists won out, leaving the decision up to those assholes in Parliament.
pulse1 is offline  
Old 9th Jun 2019, 17:47
  #12903 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 59°09N 002°38W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 76
Posts: 803

ricardian is offline  
Old 9th Jun 2019, 20:50
  #12904 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 59°09N 002°38W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 76
Posts: 803

ricardian is offline  
Old 11th Jun 2019, 01:30
  #12905 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: shiny side up
Posts: 372
A Mexican Magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three.

Uno,

Dos,

Poof!

He disappears without a tres.
Smythe is online now  
Old 11th Jun 2019, 02:14
  #12906 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Japan
Posts: 585
As Her Majesty is clambering into the state carriage, one of the horses lets fly with abandon, covering the coach in a hot wafting pong.
”I am frightfully sorry about that!” she exclaims, glancing back at Donald Trump who is about to board.
”No problem, Liz. Know what? I thought it was the horse!” he gallantly replies.
jolihokistix is offline  
Old 12th Jun 2019, 07:21
  #12907 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Hampshire
Age: 72
Posts: 671
I mentioned on another thread yesterday how, during a downpour of yet more rain and flood warnings all over the area, an A319 flew over my house, en route to Farnborough, with the reg G-NOAH. Now there was an appropriate registration!
KelvinD is online now  
Old 12th Jun 2019, 07:24
  #12908 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Lincolnshire
Age: 76
Posts: 16,553
Originally Posted by KelvinD View Post
I mentioned on another thread yesterday how, during a downpour of yet more rain and flood warnings all over the area, an A319 flew over my house, en route to Farnborough, with the reg G-NOAH. Now there was an appropriate registration!
I bet that one flew over some peoples ' heads.
Pontius Navigator is online now  
Old 12th Jun 2019, 07:40
  #12909 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reading, UK
Posts: 10,292
Originally Posted by Pontius Navigator View Post
I bet that one flew over some peoples ' heads.
In an arc, presumably ...
DaveReidUK is online now  
Old 12th Jun 2019, 08:45
  #12910 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 15
Did it have this painted on the side of the fuselage:
"Après moi, le déluge"?
NoelEvans is offline  
Old 12th Jun 2019, 10:52
  #12911 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Following the sun and skiing... No snow involved just Spending the Kids Inheritance!
Age: 75
Posts: 172
An Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bakery.

The Englishman steals three buns, puts them in his pocket and leaves. He said to the Irishman, "That took great skill and guile to steal those buns. The owner didn't even see me."

The Irishman replied, "That's simple thievery. I'll show you how to do it the honest way and get the same results."

The Irishman then called out to the owner of the bakery and said, "Sir, I want to show you a magic trick." The owner was intrigued so he came over to see the magic trick.

The Irishman asked for a bun and then proceeded to eat it. He asked two more times and after eating them the owner said, "OK my friend. Where's the magic trick?"

The Irishman replied, "Look in the Englishman's pockets!"
Tigger4Me is offline  
Old 12th Jun 2019, 13:09
  #12912 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 15
A while ago well known weekly aviation magazine (apologies again, WingNut60!) had a comment on a Belgian registered King Air: OO-LET "... the dogs out?"!!
NoelEvans is offline  
Old 12th Jun 2019, 13:25
  #12913 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reading, UK
Posts: 10,292
Originally Posted by LowNSlow View Post
There are 623 aircraft on G-INFO with the registration starting G-AY!
Of which only about 20% are current. Most are so old that they were registered in innocence ...

DaveReidUK is online now  
Old 12th Jun 2019, 13:46
  #12914 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Southampton
Posts: 659
Originally Posted by DaveReidUK View Post
Of which only about 20% are current. Most are so old that they were registered in innocence ...
Happy days.


Obligatory joke:
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”

Patient: “OK.”

Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.”
Saintsman is offline  
Old 12th Jun 2019, 20:52
  #12915 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 59°09N 002°38W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 76
Posts: 803

Why the Roomba is so popular
ricardian is offline  
Old 12th Jun 2019, 22:18
  #12916 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: California
Posts: 339
A classic representation of brownian movement !.
fleigle is offline  
Old 12th Jun 2019, 22:26
  #12917 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Darkest Surrey
Posts: 5,714
Originally Posted by fleigle View Post
A classic representation of brownian movement !.
No shit Sherlock...
racedo is offline  
Old 12th Jun 2019, 22:26
  #12918 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: UK
Posts: 427
Originally Posted by fleigle View Post
A classic representation of brownian movement !.
'Motion' seems to cover it so much better, given the context!

Last edited by pilotmike; 13th Jun 2019 at 06:34.
pilotmike is offline  
Old 13th Jun 2019, 12:14
  #12919 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Germany
Age: 71
Posts: 1,560
Nah, that was definitely a "movement."

Trust me; I have seen a few. 25 years in Nigeria ....
chuks is offline  
Old 13th Jun 2019, 16:10
  #12920 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Location: Location!
Posts: 1,818
Originally Posted by DaveReidUK View Post
In an arc, presumably ...
Respect! Respect!

Jack
Union Jack is offline  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us Archive Advertising Cookie Policy Privacy Statement Terms of Service

Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.