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Friday Jokes

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Friday Jokes

Old 30th May 2019, 13:17
  #12861 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Currently within the EU
Posts: 313
Originally Posted by Lancelot37 View Post
My brother in law said that his family were not well off when he was a child. On cold winter nights they used to sit around a candle. And if it was REALLY cold they would light it.
You had a candle? Looxury!
When we were little it were so cold we all had to sit back to back and [email protected] at each other to keep warm.
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Old 30th May 2019, 16:02
  #12862 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Balikpapan, INDONESIA
Age: 66
Posts: 450
Originally Posted by Sallyann1234 View Post
You had a candle? Looxury!
When we were little it were so cold we all had to sit back to back and [email protected] at each other to keep warm.
I remember an interview with Dolly Parton, recounting her childhood in Tennessee in a timber floored house with cracks between the boards and snow blowing into the bedroom in winter, and the big bed she shared with a collection of her 12 siblings.

"The only thing that kept us warm" she said, "was the pee."
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Old 30th May 2019, 23:59
  #12863 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Wilts
Posts: 120
Originally Posted by WingNut60 View Post
I remember an interview with Dolly Parton, recounting her childhood in Tennessee in a timber floored house with cracks between the boards and snow blowing into the bedroom in winter, and the big bed she shared with a collection of her 12 siblings.

"The only thing that kept us warm" she said, "was the pee."

When I was young we only had one bed for ten of us. We used to top and tale. My mate asked which end I slept?

The shallow end was the best.
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Old 1st Jun 2019, 11:58
  #12864 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Darkest Surrey
Posts: 5,583
8am Guy rings up White House

"Can I speak to President Hillary Clinton"
WH Operator. There is No President Hillary Clinton

This occurs for a week and operator pleasant as always.

After 2 weeks operator ask gent.
"Why do you keep ringing if know the answer"

Gent says
"I can have a smile on my face all day knowing its true"
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Old 1st Jun 2019, 18:33
  #12865 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: On a foreign shore trying a new wine diet. So far, I've lost 3days!
Age: 70
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Old 2nd Jun 2019, 15:46
  #12866 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: shiny side up
Posts: 291

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Old 2nd Jun 2019, 15:57
  #12867 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: shiny side up
Posts: 291
The Roomba just beat to a piece of popcorn I dropped...

This is how the war against the machines begins.
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Old 2nd Jun 2019, 21:22
  #12868 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Southampton
Posts: 658
Originally Posted by Kiltrash View Post
No joke but bring a smile to your face
Nice, but Im sure a lot of us still remember Erica Roe.

1982 that was.
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Old 2nd Jun 2019, 22:13
  #12869 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: East Angular - apparently!
Posts: 603
Ah yes, Erica Roe. They had to use a bobby's helmet to cover her attributes, I remember
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Old 2nd Jun 2019, 23:00
  #12870 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Hampshire
Age: 71
Posts: 668
They had to use a bobby's helmet to cover her attributes
That surely can't be accurate. A single bobby's helmet wouldn't cover those attributes!
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Old 3rd Jun 2019, 00:45
  #12871 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 434
Originally Posted by KelvinD View Post
That surely can't be accurate. A single bobby's helmet wouldn't cover those attributes!
From Wikipedia, which, as we know, is never wrong...
Roe and Sarah Bennett, the friend who joined her streak,[3] were corralled by officials. Her breasts were covered by "a ridiculous man, with his [Union Jack] flag".[4]
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Old 3rd Jun 2019, 01:10
  #12872 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: CYYC (Calgary)
Posts: 4,719
Even some of my religious friends find this amusing, although Im selective in my choice of who to show it to!



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Old 3rd Jun 2019, 02:39
  #12873 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: shiny side up
Posts: 291
Did you see where Erica Roe showed up on the Island, the Bear Gryllis reality show?
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Old 3rd Jun 2019, 03:39
  #12874 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 434
"Help me, Bear Grills, I've got a bear behind."
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Old 3rd Jun 2019, 09:46
  #12875 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Darkest Surrey
Posts: 5,583
My wife asked me why I was speaking so softly at home. I told her I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening! She laughed. I laughed. Alexa laughed. Siri laughed.
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Old 3rd Jun 2019, 10:25
  #12876 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Following the sun and skiing... No snow involved just Spending the Kids Inheritance!
Age: 74
Posts: 172
Originally Posted by KelvinD View Post
That surely can't be accurate. A single bobby's helmet wouldn't cover those attributes!
Originally Posted by Hydromet View Post
From Wikipedia, which, as we know, is never wrong...
Here you go. Both are correct...




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Old 3rd Jun 2019, 11:29
  #12877 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Darkest Surrey
Posts: 5,583
Originally Posted by Tigger4Me View Post
Here you go. Both are correct...




Old guy almost had a stroke...

Lucky, policemen got there first.
or was it
Lucky policemen got there first.

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Old 3rd Jun 2019, 13:03
  #12878 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 5909N 00238W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 76
Posts: 803

I don't follow football (or any other sports) but this made me smile
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Old 3rd Jun 2019, 18:04
  #12879 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Deepest darkest Inbredland....
Posts: 536
Originally Posted by racedo View Post
Old guy almost had a stroke...

Lucky, policemen got there first.
or was it
Lucky policemen got there first.
The Gentleman with the flag was Ken Bailey. 'Well known' as it were in Bournemouth.
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Old 3rd Jun 2019, 18:33
  #12880 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Somewhere flat
Posts: 103
Another Police cover up,

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