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Friday Jokes

Old 20th Mar 2019, 09:29
  #12661 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Old 20th Mar 2019, 13:53
  #12662 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
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Those of you who have been on management courses will appreciate this

The Spoon

A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.

Very impressive!

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,'

and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his

shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange.

When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also

had a spoon in his shirtpocket. Then I looked around and saw that all

the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to

serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'

'Well,' he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting

to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they

concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It

represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.

‘If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips

back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his

spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of

making an extra trip to get it right now.' I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.

Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string

hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter,

'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'

‘Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so

observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can

save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of our

you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the

need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by

76.39%.

I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'

'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'
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Old 20th Mar 2019, 15:27
  #12663 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
Posts: 239
What's the difference between a hamburger and a blowjob?
You don't know?
How about lunch tomorrow?

- Ed
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Old 20th Mar 2019, 16:38
  #12664 (permalink)  
 
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Something for the Spring equinox
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Old 20th Mar 2019, 19:50
  #12665 (permalink)  
 
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Old 20th Mar 2019, 20:56
  #12666 (permalink)  
 
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Old 21st Mar 2019, 09:46
  #12667 (permalink)  
 
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ricardian. That is nasty, mean, cruel, and very funny
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Old 21st Mar 2019, 10:03
  #12668 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Wilts
Posts: 126
I went to a faith healer last night.

He was absolute rubbish, even a man in a wheelchair got up and walked out.
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Old 21st Mar 2019, 14:47
  #12669 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
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Originally Posted by cavuman1 View Post
What's the difference between a hamburger and a blowjob?

- Ed

when your mom gives me a hamburger , i can only have one .
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Old 23rd Mar 2019, 09:44
  #12670 (permalink)  
 
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Old 23rd Mar 2019, 15:29
  #12671 (permalink)  
 
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Old 23rd Mar 2019, 15:35
  #12672 (permalink)  
 
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Old 23rd Mar 2019, 15:45
  #12673 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
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Old 23rd Mar 2019, 15:51
  #12674 (permalink)  
 
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Old 23rd Mar 2019, 16:02
  #12675 (permalink)  
 
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Old 24th Mar 2019, 23:32
  #12676 (permalink)  
 
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Old 25th Mar 2019, 11:34
  #12677 (permalink)  
 
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Old 26th Mar 2019, 01:11
  #12678 (permalink)  
 
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Old 26th Mar 2019, 02:26
  #12679 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
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Borrowed with thanks from another thread here on PPRuNe.
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Old 26th Mar 2019, 03:25
  #12680 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Great South East, tired and retired
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but what do the Chinese characters say?

"Warning, beware of the tower"
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