Go Back  PPRuNe Forums > PPRuNe Social > Jet Blast
Reload this Page >

Friday Jokes

Jet Blast Topics that don't fit the other forums. Rules of Engagement apply.

Friday Jokes

Old 22nd Jan 2019, 12:22
  #12441 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: England
Posts: 349
Originally Posted by racedo View Post
Following on from the Eels in The Thames getting high on Cocaine there was a story of the WW2 fisherman who caught eels in the Thames Estuary.
/
On one occasion he caught a large eel who was seen as a delicacy in certain Hotels. Sadly whe he got it on board a boat hook sliced it in 2 and he saw his chances of a bumper catch gone as efforts to join them together didn't work.

Sitting head in hands he heard voices and looked up and the Eel cut in 2 was talking to him.

Don't worry about joining us together as that will happen,that Vera lady is always singing about it.

"Eel meet again, don't know where, don't know when but I know eel meet again some sunny day."
No. You're thinking of the Eskimo/Inuit song:

"Whale meat again, and again, and again. I know we'll all eat whale meat every day"
Sallyann1234 is offline  
Old 22nd Jan 2019, 21:51
  #12442 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Southern Sun
Posts: 416
One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular diamond ring.

"Where did you get that ring?" her husband asks.

"Well, she replies, "My boss and I played the lotto and we won, so I Bought it with my share of the winnings."

A week later, his wife comes home with a long shiny fur coat.

Where did you get that coat?" her husband asks.

She replies "My boss and I played the lotto and we won again, so I bought It with my share of the winnings."

Another week later, his wife comes home, driving a flaming red Ferrari,

You guessed it:

Her share of the lotto winnings....

That night, the wife asks her husband to run her a nice warm bath while She gets undressed When she enters the bathroom, she finds that there is Barely enough water in the bath to cover the bath plug.

"What's this?" she asks her husband.

"Well," he replies, "We don't want to get your lotto ticket wet, do we??"
Dark Knight is offline  
Old 23rd Jan 2019, 08:17
  #12443 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 5909N 00238W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 76
Posts: 811
ricardian is online now  
Old 23rd Jan 2019, 13:11
  #12444 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Permanent Newbie
Posts: 20
Vodka & ice destroys the kidneys,

Ouzo & ice destroys the liver,

Whiskey & ice destroys the heart,

Gin & ice destroys the brain.

Why has Ice not been banned?
racedo is offline  
Old 23rd Jan 2019, 15:39
  #12445 (permalink)  

Nigerian In Law
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Haven't been there, never done that.
Age: 61
Posts: 1,001
50p coin.jpg

Nuff said......
Nigerian Expat Outlaw is offline  
Old 23rd Jan 2019, 18:35
  #12446 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Cayley's County - Yorkshire
Posts: 108

CAEBr is offline  
Old 24th Jan 2019, 09:26
  #12447 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 5909N 00238W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 76
Posts: 811
ricardian is online now  
Old 24th Jan 2019, 16:47
  #12448 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Retired to Leafy Bucks
Posts: 94
'Lucy in the sky with diamonds'

John Lennon - great musician, rubbish at Cluedo.
goldfrog is offline  
Old 24th Jan 2019, 20:35
  #12449 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 5909N 00238W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 76
Posts: 811

ricardian is online now  
Old 25th Jan 2019, 09:46
  #12450 (permalink)  

Gentleman Aviator
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Teetering Towers - somewhere in the Shires
Age: 70
Posts: 3,438
You may have to explain that one to our younger readers...
Indeed so. My young were confused when I told them that 33 years and 4 months was a Vinyl Wedding Anniversary.
Guess I'll have to wait for my "Shellac" after 78 years........ (come to think of it, my "7 Inch" Anniversary is in 2021!)
teeteringhead is offline  
Old 25th Jan 2019, 12:52
  #12451 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 4,821
Mine was when I was about fifteen.
Fareastdriver is offline  
Old 25th Jan 2019, 13:23
  #12452 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: spacetime
Posts: 264
....... (come to think of it, my "7 Inch" Anniversary is in 2021!)[/QUOTE]

Excellent
gemma10 is offline  
Old 25th Jan 2019, 20:18
  #12453 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Great South East, tired and retired
Posts: 2,771
What about your 10" Extended Play anniversary? (The 7 Brides for 7 Bros soundtrack was one of these)
Ascend Charlie is online now  
Old 26th Jan 2019, 09:30
  #12454 (permalink)  
Man Bilong Balus long PNG
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Now stewing on the fact that due to this Gottverdammt Covid-19 curse I am not returning to Japan this year, or going anywhere for that matter! So just continuing the search for that bad bottle of Red!
Age: 65
Posts: 2,581
ricardian; Love the piccy of the Platterpuss!
Pinky the pilot is offline  
Old 26th Jan 2019, 10:03
  #12455 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 4,821
At the turn of the sixties my father ran a club in Choma, then Northern Rhodesia.

At one end of the bar was a record player that played 33 rpm records. The resident budgerigar would alight on the record, follow it around to the pick up arm, jump over it and back on to the record.

It must have been something to do with the music vibrations coming through its feet.
Fareastdriver is offline  
Old 26th Jan 2019, 11:16
  #12456 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 5909N 00238W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 76
Posts: 811
ricardian is online now  
Old 26th Jan 2019, 12:57
  #12457 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 5909N 00238W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 76
Posts: 811
ricardian is online now  
Old 26th Jan 2019, 13:08
  #12458 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: PA
Age: 55
Posts: 34
underfire is offline  
Old 26th Jan 2019, 13:25
  #12459 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: PA
Age: 55
Posts: 34
Pope's Blessing.
+50% Holy protection
+100% Holy speed
+350% Holy damage upon impact.

underfire is offline  
Old 26th Jan 2019, 14:24
  #12460 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Moscow region
Age: 61
Posts: 542
A car is experiencing problems on a road near Paris and parks on the roadside. The driver is obviously getting ready to get outside. There is a police car hiding itself in "ambush" on a side road nearby and monitoring the situation. One officer says to the other one: "If he does not put a vest ("gilet jaune") on, we will fine him. If he does, we will arrest him".
A_Van is offline  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information

Copyright 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.