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Friday Jokes

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Friday Jokes

Old 10th Jan 2018, 10:18
  #11261 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: South of England
Posts: 1,066
No ,no,no. Its, "Not many of them around, are there?"
Depends whether in your version the speaker is a narrow-mouthed frog or a wide-mouthed frog!

2 s
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Old 10th Jan 2018, 11:37
  #11262 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: last time I looked I was still here.
Posts: 4,510
So help me out guys and post the whole thing; once you've ha da conference call and decided on the authentic version.
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Old 10th Jan 2018, 11:55
  #11263 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Great South East, tired and retired
Posts: 2,480
A broad-mouthed frog is hopping through the jungle when he meets another animal.
(Joke-teller speaks with his mouth as wide as possible )"Hi! What are you?" asks the BMF.
"I'm a giraffe."
"Oh, I'm a broad-mouthed frog. See you later".
(repeat with another one or two animals, your choice.)
and then....
"Hi! What are you?"
"I'M A LION, AND I EAT BROAD-MOUTHED FROGS!!"
(joke-teller puts on a cat's-bum face, and says) "Oooh you don't see many of those these days, do you?"

Yes, it was definitely worth waiting for.
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Old 10th Jan 2018, 15:05
  #11264 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: UK
Age: 81
Posts: 699
Used to read something like...
"You can tell the size of a woman by the size of her mouth"
"Wiz Wat Swo?"
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Old 10th Jan 2018, 23:36
  #11265 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Between a Rock and a Hard Spot
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Old 10th Jan 2018, 23:39
  #11266 (permalink)  
 
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Old 10th Jan 2018, 23:58
  #11267 (permalink)  
 
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Old 11th Jan 2018, 00:00
  #11268 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
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Irony: the opposite of wrinkly.

If we find life on other planets, what happens to the Miss Universe pageant?

Is it possible to have deja vu and amnesia at the same time? I feel like I've forgotten this before.

Gardening rule: When you're weeding, the best way to make sure you're removing weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it's a valuable plant.

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? One requires tweetment, the other requires oinkment.

You don't need to wear spurs on both boots. If one side of the horse starts to run, so will the other.
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Old 11th Jan 2018, 00:07
  #11269 (permalink)  
 
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Old 11th Jan 2018, 00:08
  #11270 (permalink)  
 
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Old 11th Jan 2018, 00:09
  #11271 (permalink)  
 
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Old 11th Jan 2018, 00:10
  #11272 (permalink)  
 
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Old 11th Jan 2018, 00:14
  #11273 (permalink)  
 
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Old 11th Jan 2018, 00:16
  #11274 (permalink)  
 
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Old 11th Jan 2018, 00:20
  #11275 (permalink)  
 
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Old 11th Jan 2018, 00:21
  #11276 (permalink)  
 
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Old 11th Jan 2018, 00:54
  #11277 (permalink)  
 
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Old 11th Jan 2018, 01:07
  #11278 (permalink)  
 
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Old 11th Jan 2018, 14:25
  #11279 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: last time I looked I was still here.
Posts: 4,510
LoL Hems. Thanks. I've learnt the meaning of being in overdrive and would love what you're smoking/drinking.
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Old 11th Jan 2018, 14:58
  #11280 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Denmark
Posts: 186
Re "Irony: the opposite of wrinkly.":

I decreased my shirt the other day.
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