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Friday Jokes

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Friday Jokes

Old 27th May 2017, 23:18
  #10241 (permalink)  
 
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Old 27th May 2017, 23:39
  #10242 (permalink)  
 
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Fish eating spiders actually exist! Nowhere is safe!
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Old 28th May 2017, 07:48
  #10243 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by G0ULI View Post
Fish eating spiders actually exist! Nowhere is safe!
Only very small fish.
What's your problem with spiders? They are wonderful creatures. Most of them keep down real pests - a house with spiders is safer than a house with flies.
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Old 28th May 2017, 14:08
  #10244 (permalink)  
 
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Old 28th May 2017, 18:58
  #10245 (permalink)  
 
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Old 29th May 2017, 14:55
  #10246 (permalink)  
aox
 
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Old 29th May 2017, 16:42
  #10247 (permalink)  
 
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What could possibly go wrong?


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Old 29th May 2017, 17:04
  #10248 (permalink)  
 
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Old 29th May 2017, 22:40
  #10249 (permalink)  
 
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The police arrived at a murder scene to see the wife dead and the husband sitting near her with a golf club in his hand. The policeman inspected the body, and said to the husband,

"From what I can see, you killed your wife by hitting her six times with your golf club. Is that correct?"

"Yes," replied the husband, " but would you mind putting it down as a four?"

PDR
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Old 30th May 2017, 11:34
  #10250 (permalink)  
 
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My wife complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house.
So I lifted a finger.
Apparently, it was the wrong one.
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Old 30th May 2017, 11:38
  #10251 (permalink)  
 
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Things you don't say to your wife:
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Old 30th May 2017, 13:10
  #10252 (permalink)  
 
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The modern image...

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Old 30th May 2017, 15:45
  #10253 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by PDR1 View Post
The policeman inspected the body, and said to the husband, "From what I can see, you killed your wife by hitting her six times with your golf club. Is that correct?"
"Yes," replied the husband, " but would you mind putting it down as a four?"
Did he get a birdie, a par, or a bogey for that hole?
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Old 30th May 2017, 19:45
  #10254 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
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Is it logical...

If a subject predicates on an object being subjected to objective predicate testing?
Or is this predicated on the object being subject to objective analysis?
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Old 31st May 2017, 10:32
  #10255 (permalink)  
 
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Ricardian I'm sure Squadron Leader B J E 'Sandy' Lane, who was aged 23 at the time the picture was taken on 15 September 1940 would have agreed with you given the RAF's penchant for dark humour
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Old 31st May 2017, 12:24
  #10256 (permalink)  
 
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Squadron Leaders don't do Orderly Officer.
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Old 31st May 2017, 12:55
  #10257 (permalink)  
 
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When my car's engine failed I flagged down a car and asked the driver if they wouldn't mind giving me a hand. The driver announced that he was a chiropodist and not a mechanic.
"In that case," I replied "Would you give me a tow?"
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Old 31st May 2017, 14:45
  #10258 (permalink)  
 
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Watching some vintage Tommy Cooper stuff last night.
One trick he did was using an articulated wooden duck that picked a card from a deck with its beak.
To make it even more difficult he placed a blindfold over the duck’s eyes!
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Old 31st May 2017, 14:50
  #10259 (permalink)  
 
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Fareastdriver I don't think the people who added the caption to the pic of the pilot with the 1,000 yard stare of fatigue and having seen too much would have recognized his rank!
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Old 31st May 2017, 15:45
  #10260 (permalink)  
 
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Now what?

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