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Friday Jokes

Old 30th Apr 2012, 19:26
  #981 (permalink)  
 
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Numbnuts

Was having trouble deciding where to stick this story.

BMW North America has probably had to deal with plenty of unusual lawsuits, but one filed last week may be a first — a California man says the seat on his motorcycle has given him an erection he just can’t shake.
Calif. Man Sues BMW For Persistent Erection « CBS Detroit

Unfortunately, I think he's going to get the shaft.
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Old 30th Apr 2012, 22:26
  #982 (permalink)  
 
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Abstinence
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Old 1st May 2012, 07:37
  #983 (permalink)  
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11Fan, do you really think they will be that Hard-on him.
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Old 1st May 2012, 12:18
  #984 (permalink)  

Coppula eam se non posit acceptera jocularum
 
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Originally Posted by 11Fan View Post
Was having trouble deciding where to stick this story.



Calif. Man Sues BMW For Persistent Erection « CBS Detroit

Unfortunately, I think he's going to get the shaft.
Nothing to be stuck up about, he is clearly being a dick ...
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Old 1st May 2012, 12:54
  #985 (permalink)  
 
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Just a simple cock-up. They'll make a balls of the case.
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Old 1st May 2012, 13:30
  #986 (permalink)  
 
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SWMBO has finally agreed to me getting a BMW motor bike.
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Old 1st May 2012, 14:39
  #987 (permalink)  
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"Agreed" or "Insisting", Hydro ?
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Old 1st May 2012, 14:57
  #988 (permalink)  
 
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Brings a new slant to that advert phrase of BMW's - "Freude durch fahren...."
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Old 1st May 2012, 15:03
  #989 (permalink)  
 
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So this is why!

BMW owners take stick for riding 'an old man's motorcycle.' Is it so that we have known something all along?

I have an R1100S. Given that it's a twin-cylinder machine with 550 cm3 capacity split two ways, it vibrates in the low-frequency range at low revs. I gave the cute little neighbor girl a ride around the local area. When she hopped off she seemed to be quite perky, as if those vibrations had been working on her much more than they do on me. (All I notice is a slight numbness from the high-frequency vibrations at high revs, but mostly in the hands and feet, not, ahem, elsewhere.)

I checked on 'Snopes' but there was nothing there yet. Even for California, I cannot believe someone would actually sue BMW for what an after-market accessory has supposedly done. Anyway, since when is priapism a barrier to having sex?

Riding a BMW, well, yeah, it doesn't exactly make you a babe magnet but there are bikers with worse problems. Riding a Harley, for instance, that's sure to make your sex life hard, unless you like it rough from someone named Bubba.
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Old 1st May 2012, 16:29
  #990 (permalink)  

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Chucks - you've obviously been mixing with the wannabe Harley riders down at your YMCA again.
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Old 1st May 2012, 22:16
  #991 (permalink)  
 
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"Agreed" or "Insisting", Hydro ?
Let's say it was a mutual decision.
I think I might go to Germany to pick it up.
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Old 2nd May 2012, 00:24
  #992 (permalink)  
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Thanking Obama for killing Bin Laden is like going into McDonald’s and thanking Ronald McDonald for the hamburger.
It’s the guy cooking the burger that should get the credit, not the clown.
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Old 2nd May 2012, 01:55
  #993 (permalink)  
 
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............................................
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Old 2nd May 2012, 05:59
  #994 (permalink)  
 
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Guy at work receives a text message from his wife:

"Windows completely frozen. What do I do?"

He texts back:

"Pour luke warm water over"

A few moments later the wife texts back:

"Well, that's the computer totally f***** now!"
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Old 2nd May 2012, 09:11
  #995 (permalink)  
 
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Thanking Obama for killing Bin Laden is like going into McDonald’s and thanking Ronald McDonald for the hamburger.
It’s the guy cooking the burger that should get the credit, not the clown.
I think this belongs in the Obama abuse thread (AKA US Politics hamsterwheel).
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Old 2nd May 2012, 15:21
  #996 (permalink)  
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I think I might go to Germany to pick it up.

A lot of things you might pick up there, Hydro. Try "Meyer Gustl's Bayerische Zell" in Kaiserstrasse, Frankfut a.M. Drive up on the Harley on a Saturday night and you might pick up more than one !
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Old 2nd May 2012, 15:50
  #997 (permalink)  
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Old 2nd May 2012, 19:09
  #998 (permalink)  
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With typical inventiveness, Rivetts finds a solution to post-prostate inconveniences.


BBC News - New record for world's fastest toilet on wheels
Loose rivets is online now  
Old 2nd May 2012, 20:30
  #999 (permalink)  

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The quickest WC maybe, but Edd China took the sink and bathtub with him



He's motorised wverything except the kitchen sink
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Old 3rd May 2012, 11:57
  #1000 (permalink)  
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Miss Beatrice, The church organist, Was in her eighties And had never been married.
She was admired for her sweetness And kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor Came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.
She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, The young minister noticed a cute glass bowl sitting on top of it.
The bowl was filled with water, and in the water Floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned With tea and scones, They began to chat.
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity About the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
‘Miss Beatrice’, he said, ‘I wonder if you would tell me about this?’ Pointing to the bowl.
‘Oh, yes,’ she replied, ‘Isn’t it wonderful?
I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.
The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven’t had the flu All winter.’
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