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Friday Jokes

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Friday Jokes

Old 24th Dec 2016, 18:16
  #9221 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Wilts
Posts: 127
Originally Posted by RedhillPhil View Post
My maternal grandad in Worksop used to eat the stuff just as it came from the butchers all white and raw (it had been blanched by the butcher) with pepper and vinegar.

That's how I can remember it as a kid. Never had it for years but in the 1950s it was delicious.
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Old 24th Dec 2016, 20:36
  #9222 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 7
Can we move all this tripe to another thread. This is meant to be a jokes thread
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Old 24th Dec 2016, 21:34
  #9223 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Coasting South
Age: 65
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Offal jokes here.
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Old 24th Dec 2016, 21:35
  #9224 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Florida
Age: 47
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"Just left my job."
"Why?"
"Something the boss said."
"What did he say?"
"You're fired."
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Old 24th Dec 2016, 21:45
  #9225 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 216
We used to have tripe and elder. Elder was a sort of shxxty browny/yellow colour from what I remember. I have just looked it up and apparently it is cooked cow's udder. Maybe my mother's idea of a joke? Both seemed OK at the time and I never asked where they came from - I am pretty sure I couldn't eat them now!
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Old 24th Dec 2016, 23:04
  #9226 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Canadian Shield
Posts: 536
Merry Christmas, everyone!

Enjoy!

Hitler reacts badly to his Generals' plan to escape to Canada.

Hitler moves to Canada - Caption Generator
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Old 25th Dec 2016, 03:32
  #9227 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Melbourne
Age: 67
Posts: 775
A woman gets on to a bus and sits behind two Indians having a heated argument. One is saying "it is spelled w h o o m, whoom." The other replies "no, no, no, it is spelled w o o m, woom."

This goes on for a while until the woman leans forward and taps both of them on their shoulders and says "excuse me for interrupting gentlemen but I think the word you are looking for is w o m b, womb," whereupon one of the Indians draws himself up, looks down at her and says, "madam, I doubt you have seen many wild elephants let alone heard one break wind."
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Old 25th Dec 2016, 06:08
  #9228 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 7
i like fish better than tripe
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Old 25th Dec 2016, 06:27
  #9229 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 425
Black pudding, kidneys,liver, brains, brawn and sweetbreads I love but tripe makes me heave, (which s a problem because Mrs VJ loves it, especially provencale.)
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Old 25th Dec 2016, 08:42
  #9230 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Fliegensville, Gold Coast Australia
Posts: 35
Black pudding, kidneys,liver, brains, brawn and sweetbreads I love

We don't do much offal here in the 'Great Southern Land'....that all sounds rather vile indeed....unless you are French of course and can make something magnificent out of it!!
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Old 25th Dec 2016, 09:05
  #9231 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: last time I looked I was still here.
Posts: 4,509
For some reason, don't ask, Obama, Hilary & Trump arrive at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter checks first to see if they have an appointment with God. All is in order and they are ushered in.
God looks at Obama and asks why he should be allowed to enter further. "well I did my best for the poor guys; health care, education, housing, and I tried to end the wars."
Very good my son; sit on my right hand.
OK, Hilary. What did you do to deserve a place here? "well I too did my best to bring peace and prosperity for oppressed peoples, both home and abroad."
Very good my daughter; sit on my left hand.
Now Donald; what claim have you to a seat here? "Hey, first thing, you're in my chair."
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Old 25th Dec 2016, 09:50
  #9232 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Lost, but often Indonesia
Posts: 598
Thanks for all the tripe input. I've ticked it off my list of things to try!

Innuendo, you really must stop eating stewed blankets! :-)
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Old 25th Dec 2016, 16:02
  #9233 (permalink)  
 
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Old 25th Dec 2016, 16:11
  #9234 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Very close to the Theatre of Dreams!
Posts: 156
The only Tripe we get at Old Trafford is when Liverpool visit.
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Old 25th Dec 2016, 16:20
  #9235 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: spacetime
Posts: 260
Excuse me, they are called Liverhampton not Liverpool
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Old 25th Dec 2016, 17:56
  #9236 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Very close to the Theatre of Dreams!
Posts: 156
Excuse me, they are called Liverhampton not Liverpool
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Old 25th Dec 2016, 18:17
  #9237 (permalink)  
 
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Location: Middle America
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Old 25th Dec 2016, 19:36
  #9238 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Hampshire
Age: 72
Posts: 759
The only Tripe we get at Old Trafford is when Liverpool visit
Well, naturally the home team are entitled to turn up for a game!
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Old 26th Dec 2016, 06:14
  #9239 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 7
I had ham yesterday instead of fish. It was much better than tripe.
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Old 26th Dec 2016, 06:45
  #9240 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Perth - Western Australia
Age: 71
Posts: 1,809
Fred was a window cleaner - and one day whilst on the job, he couldn't believe his eyes when a very attractive and shapely woman got out of her shower, and started to dry herself off, right in front of him.

Then she suddenly spotted Fred - and being a feminist and strong-willed, she didn't scream, but merely stared at Fred in an attempt to shame him into looking away.

They locked eyes in confrontation, for what seemed like minutes. Suddenly, Fred cracked.

"What are ya staring at?? Haven't ya ever seen a window cleaner before??
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