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Friday Jokes

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Friday Jokes

Old 22nd Jul 2016, 14:45
  #8401 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Texas
Age: 60
Posts: 5,374
Originally Posted by gemma10 View Post
So its been Fostered out to the Belgians. Coors blimey
I've never let a Coors get blimey, but I have run quite a bit of Coors through me.
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Old 22nd Jul 2016, 15:05
  #8402 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: uk
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Q.What do you call a dog with wings?

A. Linda McCartney.
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Old 22nd Jul 2016, 20:22
  #8403 (permalink)  
 
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...pit?
Reminds me of Little Britain sketch
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Old 22nd Jul 2016, 23:11
  #8404 (permalink)  
 
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Old 23rd Jul 2016, 05:08
  #8405 (permalink)  
 
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Old 23rd Jul 2016, 07:01
  #8406 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Great South East, tired and retired
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Blankbox, thanks for that, it is so long since I have seen Joe Btfsplk or any Al Capp comic!
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Old 23rd Jul 2016, 13:00
  #8407 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Moscow, Russia
Posts: 1,022
After hot air Russian balloonist Fyodor Konyukhov who claims to smash the world circumnavigation record set by the late Steve Fossett 14 years ago landed, meldonium was found at his balloon cage. So Fossett record will stay
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Old 23rd Jul 2016, 15:00
  #8408 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Perth - Western Australia
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Kulverstukas - Well isn't it lucky they didn't find Viagra? - his team would have then had huge problems, trying to deflate the balloon!
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Old 23rd Jul 2016, 18:18
  #8409 (permalink)  
 
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Age: 60
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@Kulverstukas:

The record was immediately restored, however, when the IOC were reminded that balloon around the world was not an Olympic sport, but was instead part of the ***cough*** benefits package offered by some of the "professional ladies" in Rio. They had simply read the brochure and benefits package incorrectly, most likely whilst counting the stacks of crisp bills that were also in the packages.
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Old 23rd Jul 2016, 23:10
  #8410 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: At work (Often)
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meldonium was found at his balloon cage.
Brings em all down eventually.
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Old 24th Jul 2016, 01:38
  #8411 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Glens o' Angus by way of LA
Age: 56
Posts: 1,974
Just went on one of those "once in a lifetime holidays"

Jeeeez, I'll tell ya, NEVER again !
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Old 26th Jul 2016, 20:47
  #8412 (permalink)  
 
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Old 26th Jul 2016, 21:18
  #8413 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Lestah
Posts: 159
I've been taking Viagra for my sunburn.

It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night.
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Old 26th Jul 2016, 21:53
  #8414 (permalink)  
TWT
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
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Loitering within tent ?
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Old 27th Jul 2016, 01:25
  #8415 (permalink)  
 
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How do you know when it is time to "hang up the car keys"?

It Is Time!






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Old 27th Jul 2016, 09:26
  #8416 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: .
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Un-confirmed reports coming from Rio. The four Russian 4 x 400m runners, taking part in the up & coming Paralympics, have been found to be using a banned substance.
.
.
.
.
All four tested positive for WD-40.

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Old 27th Jul 2016, 15:13
  #8417 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Old 27th Jul 2016, 17:56
  #8418 (permalink)  
 
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Old 29th Jul 2016, 19:16
  #8419 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
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I wonder if these dunderheads have realized that their "72 virgins" will only last a few weeks.....
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Old 29th Jul 2016, 19:24
  #8420 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Florida
Posts: 5,177
I wonder if these dunderheads have realized that their "72 virgins" will only last a few weeks.....
doesn't it depend on the number of attempts vs sucesses?

They would certainly last a lifetime with me
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