Go Back  PPRuNe Forums > PPRuNe Social > Jet Blast
Reload this Page >

Friday Jokes

Jet Blast Topics that don't fit the other forums. Rules of Engagement apply.

Friday Jokes

Old 27th Nov 2015, 13:51
  #7641 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 5909N 00238W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 76
Posts: 805
ricardian is online now  
Old 27th Nov 2015, 19:41
  #7642 (permalink)  

Only half a speed-brake
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Commuting home
Age: 41
Posts: 2,479


h**p://pakistaniat.com/2007/05/11/pakistan-czech-republic-flag-diplomacy-check-checkered



On our side, I remember official welcome for gen. Jeff Hoon during my steward days with the Air Transport Wing.

Last edited by FlightDetent; 27th Nov 2015 at 20:06.
FlightDetent is offline  
Old 27th Nov 2015, 19:54
  #7643 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: California
Posts: 246
Don't bring up that link! It attempts to download an executable (virus?)
MarcK is offline  
Old 27th Nov 2015, 19:57
  #7644 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Canada
Posts: 337
It has locked up Safari in my iPad
innuendo is offline  
Old 27th Nov 2015, 20:03
  #7645 (permalink)  

Only half a speed-brake
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Commuting home
Age: 41
Posts: 2,479
MarcK, thanks! I edited the post to a non-clickable version. The article is genuine and clean. Either you are getting a false positive, or my adblocker is shielding the bad stuff. No problems on iPad in Safari or Chrome here, :? FD.

Last edited by FlightDetent; 27th Nov 2015 at 20:26.
FlightDetent is offline  
Old 30th Nov 2015, 05:06
  #7646 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: The Luberon
Age: 67
Posts: 895
"I could go on forever".

With Men, it is a figure of speech.

With Women, it is a statement of fact!
sitigeltfel is offline  
Old 30th Nov 2015, 17:47
  #7647 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Darkest Surrey
Posts: 5,817
TV ad on telly for batterys and wife asked me what would I like for Christmas.......
Not really paying attention to the TV or SWMBO I just said

"Duracell Bunny Girl, who goes on forever"

Silence followed but there is a possibility I may get let back into the house for Christmas.
racedo is online now  
Old 30th Nov 2015, 18:39
  #7648 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 1999
Location: Swindon, Wilts,UK
Posts: 563
Which Christmas?
Windy Militant is offline  
Old 30th Nov 2015, 18:57
  #7649 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Darkest Surrey
Posts: 5,817
Originally Posted by Windy Militant View Post
Which Christmas?
Unspecified yet
racedo is online now  
Old 1st Dec 2015, 18:57
  #7650 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: At My Desk
Posts: 3
Pierre the most famous French Fighter pilot of World war 1 was having a picnic with a young maid in the park.
"Pierre, kiss me on the lips" she begs,
So Pierre reaches for a bottle of red wine, pours it over her mouth, and kisses her.
"Pierre, that was wonderful, but why the red wine"? She asks.
"I am Pierre the most famous French Fighter pilot of France, and when I kiss lips so full and red, I have to use a rich red wine!" He replied.
"Kiss me lower" she demands.
So Pierre reaches for a bottle of champagne, and pours it over her breasts, whilst going to town.
"Pierre, wonderful, but again, what's with the drink?"
" I am Pierre the most famous French Fighter pilot of World war 1, and pert and bubbly breasts like yours, deserve of the best champagne around"!
"Kiss me LOWER" she demands.
Pierre reaches for the Brandy, pours it over her crotch, and sets it alight!
"Pierre, what the he'll are you doing"? She screams.
Pierre jumps up, and hands on hips, proudly announces,
"I'm Pierre, the most famous French Fighter pilot of World war 1, and when I go down, I go down in flames"!
Devon Flyer is offline  
Old 2nd Dec 2015, 03:23
  #7651 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Perth - Western Australia
Age: 70
Posts: 1,803
The Goldberg Brothers - The Inventors of the Automobile Air Conditioner


Here's a little-known fact for automotive buffs, or just to dazzle your friends with your knowledge.

The four Goldberg brothers- Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max Goldberg, actually invented and developed the very first automobile air-conditioner.

On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.

The four brothers walked into the Ford Motor Co, and sweet-talked Henry Fords secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.

Henry's curiousity was aroused, and he invited them into his office.

They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.

They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees inside - they turned on the air conditioner, and the car cooled off immediately.

The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.

The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label stating, 'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed.

Now old Henry was more than just a little anti-Jewish, and there was no way he was going to put a name like Goldberg on millions of Fords.

They haggled back and forth for about two hours - and finally agreed on $4 million, and that just their first names would be shown.


And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show ....


Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max - on the controls.
onetrack is offline  
Old 2nd Dec 2015, 13:59
  #7652 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: At My Desk
Posts: 3
F***ING A******ES,I'M GONNA FIND YOU!

I can't believe this has happened to me just before Christmas! I just got home to find all the windows open! They've taken everything.It's all gone.I'm waiting for the Police! The dirty rotten thieving bastards.What kind of sick minded person would do that to another person?

You are not human,you are low life scum!

That was my advent calendar and you had no right to open it and eat all of the chocolates!
Devon Flyer is offline  
Old 2nd Dec 2015, 14:56
  #7653 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Confoederatio Helvetica
Age: 64
Posts: 2,847
I suspect an inside job.
ExXB is offline  
Old 2nd Dec 2015, 16:57
  #7654 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Darkest Surrey
Posts: 5,817
Devon
racedo is online now  
Old 2nd Dec 2015, 19:42
  #7655 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: UK
Posts: 33
Following a lengthy, and at times complicated, medical investigation I have finally been diagnosed as suffering from a fear of extensive and sometimes over-engineered buildings.

Yes, it seems that I have a complex complex complex complex.
Antek is offline  
Old 2nd Dec 2015, 20:52
  #7656 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Coasting South
Age: 64
Posts: 47
Is it bad for your complexion?
hiflymk3 is online now  
Old 3rd Dec 2015, 07:57
  #7657 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: 100m South of the 45th
Age: 54
Posts: 33
As the recession bites I had to wind up my new dating agency for chickens, I was finding it too difficult to make hens meet
ilvaporista is offline  
Old 3rd Dec 2015, 10:53
  #7658 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Darkest Surrey
Posts: 5,817
Originally Posted by ilvaporista View Post
hens meet
That's Chicken
racedo is online now  
Old 3rd Dec 2015, 14:02
  #7659 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Not far from the edge of the Milky Way Galaxy in the Orion Arm.
Posts: 510
A man walks into a pub

wearing a hi-vis jacket with splashes of tar on it - says to the barman - "can I have a pint of bitter please and one for the road?"
Natstrackalpha is offline  
Old 3rd Dec 2015, 17:17
  #7660 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: At My Desk
Posts: 3
A Problem shared???

I said to the wife, I've got a problem.
She replied "no we have a problem.
We are a couple, we're a unit"...
Your problem is my problem.
We are in this together
" Over whelmed with relief,
I said.... "it's hardly worth mentioning now"
but she was insistent on knowing,
" what is the problem??....."
I then had to explain to her that,
" WE have got your sister pregnant!!!
Devon Flyer is offline  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us Archive Advertising Cookie Policy Privacy Statement Terms of Service

Copyright 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.