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Friday Jokes

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Friday Jokes

Old 5th Mar 2013, 23:07
  #2721 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: New South Wales
Posts: 60
old jokes

These jokes may be old to some here but they are still funny, and new to some of us.
Keep them coming, please.
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Old 6th Mar 2013, 00:49
  #2722 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Detroit MI
Age: 61
Posts: 1,463
These jokes may be old to some here but they are still funny, and new to some of us.
Alzheimers has it's benefits...
Airborne Aircrew is offline  
Old 6th Mar 2013, 01:50
  #2723 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: CYZV
Age: 72
Posts: 1,259
Alzheimers has it's benefits...
Yeah, I make new friends every day.
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Old 6th Mar 2013, 05:13
  #2724 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Here. Over here.
Posts: 189
Yeah, I make new friends every day.
.... and there is all those new books in your library.
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Old 6th Mar 2013, 06:02
  #2725 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 1998
Location: Formerly of Nam
Posts: 1,595
Alzheimers has it's benefits...
Hmm...not always!


I noticed this relatively attractive lady about 70ish sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out,
so I stopped and asked her what was wrong.

She said "I have this 32 year old husband at home. He shags my brains out every morning and
then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground brewed coffee."

I said "Well then why are you crying?" She said "And he makes me a homemade soup for lunch
and my favorite brownies and then eats my pussy to bits all afternoon!"

I said "So why ARE you crying?" She said "And dinner he makes a wonderful gourmet meal and
wine and my favorite dessert and then pounds my snatch senseless until 2am."

I said: "Well, why in the world would you be crying ?"


She said: "BECAUSE I CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE THE FCUK I LIVE!!!!"
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Old 6th Mar 2013, 06:25
  #2726 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 1998
Location: Formerly of Nam
Posts: 1,595
Chopper pilots.

Ya gotta envy 'em!
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Old 6th Mar 2013, 09:25
  #2727 (permalink)  

Ich bin ein Prooner.
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Home of the Full Monty.
Posts: 503
She looked as though she was enjoying a ride on er, IN his chopper!
Noah Zark. is offline  
Old 6th Mar 2013, 10:11
  #2728 (permalink)  

More than just an ATCO
 
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Up someone's nose
Age: 70
Posts: 1,768
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Old 6th Mar 2013, 21:52
  #2729 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: East of LGB
Age: 64
Posts: 620
We should have a "Stories you can't make up" thread.

Zimbabwe: Lion Mauls Woman to Death as She has Sex with Lover - IBTimes UK
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Old 7th Mar 2013, 07:40
  #2730 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 1998
Location: Formerly of Nam
Posts: 1,595
Only shag with a full tummy!

man-35-dies-during-marathon-sex-on-empty-stomach/
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Old 7th Mar 2013, 08:25
  #2731 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 157
I can understand this quote from Slashers report: "It was also learnt that some of the deceasedís colleagues at the operations unit of the NSCDC are said to be intensifying efforts to track down the lady...". Slasher, you're not in the posse after the pussy, are you
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Old 7th Mar 2013, 09:24
  #2732 (permalink)  
Vercingetorix
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Only shag with a full tummy!
I was always taught the opposite.

Shag on an empty stomach 'cos you are hungry and then go for a couple of pints of Guinness (liquid viagra) and then go back for more, followed by a quick snooze and then off to the pub!
 
Old 7th Mar 2013, 09:29
  #2733 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: south of Cirencester, north of Lyneham
Age: 72
Posts: 1,243
Slasher's link didn't work for me....
radeng is offline  
Old 7th Mar 2013, 09:31
  #2734 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 1998
Location: Formerly of Nam
Posts: 1,595
Slasher, you're not in the posse after the pussy, are you
Why not? Anyone who can shag a bloke to death is my kinda woman!

Hope she has big tits...

And she's not too black...
Slasher is offline  
Old 7th Mar 2013, 09:33
  #2735 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: south of Cirencester, north of Lyneham
Age: 72
Posts: 1,243
Is she called Nell? - as in Eskimo?
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Old 7th Mar 2013, 09:36
  #2736 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 1998
Location: Formerly of Nam
Posts: 1,595
Radeng if you've got Peerblock allow Quaintcast for 15 mins. Should work then.
Slasher is offline  
Old 7th Mar 2013, 09:49
  #2737 (permalink)  
Paid...Persona Grata
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Between BHX and EMA
Age: 73
Posts: 236
I'm intrigued by:-

An eyewitness told Daily Sun
Was the guy an exhibitionist?
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Old 7th Mar 2013, 13:56
  #2738 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: The Land of Beer and Chocolate
Age: 51
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Old 7th Mar 2013, 14:01
  #2739 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: England
Posts: 577

Only shag with a full tummy!
So there are at least TWO uses for Mars Bars during sex then!

Last edited by P6 Driver; 7th Mar 2013 at 14:02.
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Old 7th Mar 2013, 15:51
  #2740 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: UK
Age: 81
Posts: 696
Marion Faithful, I remember it well.
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