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So, you wake up in a morgue...

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So, you wake up in a morgue...

Old 28th Jul 2011, 20:16
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So, you wake up in a morgue...

That would be a tad frightening!

Man Wakes From Coma in a Morgue Fridge After Being Dead for 21 Hours

"I was dead sure I was alive!"
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Old 28th Jul 2011, 20:26
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I read the story yesterday and yes, totally scary. He was also in a locked cold box wasn't he .....aaaaagh!

The problem is that you are alive and have come through against all the odds, and then as you bang and knock on the door, some terrified superstitious mortician opens the door and kills you by hitting you (the ghost) on the head with a shovel. The stuff of nightmares. I bet even now he has gone home, people and his family view him with a cautious eye.
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Old 28th Jul 2011, 20:32
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Somewhere there's an exchange between a lawyer and a pathologist in court about whether the person who had been 'post mortemed' had been dead when the pathologist started the PM.


It gets quite funny when comments are made about the brain being in a jar on the bench and the lawyer asks again whether the person might have been still alive and the repost is along the lines of 'Practising as an attorney' . . .
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Old 28th Jul 2011, 20:35
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Sickipedia provides.

It was my mate's funeral this week. He was always a practical joker, and fair play, he made us laugh right to the end. Silly ****er had the coffin rigged somehow so that when it was being lowered into the ground, a tape of him saying, "Ha! Fooled you... I'm alive!" started playing. It was followed by things like, "Lads... Really. I'm not dead, let me out!"

We were all in stitches. Even the Vicar was pissing himself.

RIP Dave... Łukcing legend.
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Old 28th Jul 2011, 20:37
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Full left right rudder!

You mean an inverted flat spin (my mother - I knew you would do this, you used to be so thin)... :-)


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Old 28th Jul 2011, 20:44
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ahh, reminds me of a much told story from my "gangs" youth.

a close friend (who of course will remain nameless, but we will call him phil....as its his name), at 17 starts work at the local hospital as a morgue assistant.

first day nice and easy, training, erm, "cleaning" tables etc.

second day, asked to prep a body for autopsy, wheels gurney to "fridge" and retrives body.
whilst transferring the body to table, a massive release of gas and phil freezes with fear.

after being helped with the cadaver he tears off his gown and proceeds to leave.

"where the f*ck are you going" shouts the other orderly,

f*uck this" shouts phil....."if they can fart, they can get up and run about"!!!!
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Old 28th Jul 2011, 20:49
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One of my school classmates (who always had a cold, clammy handshake) announced that it was his ambition to be a morgue attendant when he left school - and he did!
He joined the local hospital working in 'Ward 13' as it was known.

I wonder if he saw out his working life there?

He was a double for Grandpa Munster .
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Old 28th Jul 2011, 20:54
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In some towns in South Africa there is stuff all difference between being dead and being alive. Bloemfontein for example, I should know, I spent a month there one weekend.
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Old 28th Jul 2011, 20:55
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Frankly, I think this topic has been done to death.
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Old 28th Jul 2011, 21:00
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An elderly missionary who lodged at my prep school had spent most of his life in India.

He tells that he was pronounced dead on one occasion and was being taken to the cemetery on a horse drawn cart. Apparently, they used to plant them pretty quickly back then. Lack of refrigeration; bit of a pong after a while.

He came to inside the coffin and banged on the lid until released. The locals had scarpered PDQ, though.

Probably pretty fair to say he never recovered fully.
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Old 28th Jul 2011, 21:28
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The Victorians were mighty scared of being buried alive weren't they, even rigging up bells by their graves that could be rung should they come back to life in their coffins One's uncle worked in a hospital for many years and one winter's night was needed in the mortuary to repair an electrical pump. There was no-one there except the freezer's inhabitants and himself. He left the mortuary door open as he felt uneasy and after 15mins he heard a voice from behind him, i.e where there was no-one, that said "will you shut that bloody door it's freezing in here!" He left quick smart and didn't go back without backup. He swears that there was no possibility of someone hiding there and that the mortician on duty was in the canteen chatting up the nurses at the time.....

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Old 28th Jul 2011, 23:36
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That reminded me of that joke I read on here some months back about the two guys and a gal marooned on an island. After a year nature had taken over and the gal felt so bad about what she was doing she killed herself.

After another 6 months the two guy felt so bad about it, so they burried her.

After another 6 months they recanted and dug her up again

... or something like that
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Old 29th Jul 2011, 09:10
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Here's another one from India.

Dead woman 'wakes up' at funeral - Times Of India

The woman woke up just before being taken off to be buried - when someone let off a loud firework.

Last edited by eticket; 29th Jul 2011 at 09:38.
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Old 29th Jul 2011, 09:20
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This story has really brought back the old terror I first experienced when I read The Premature Burial by Edgar Allan Poe. As an acute claustrophobia sufferer I can hardly imagine anything worse than waking up in those circumstances.

By the way - Mr Fish, drifting to the 'Britishisms' thread, may I point out that in this country we have trolleys in the mortuary, not gurneys in the morgue
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