UK politics - Hamsterwheel
Joint Sh!te Fighters
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: europe
Posts: 42
UK politics - Hamsterwheel
For those who can't help themselves there are the Hamster Wheel threads. If you absolutely need to talk politics, do it there. Do not start new political threads, they will be closed or merged. If you choose to participate in a Hamster Wheel or a religious thread, show some restraint and a goodly dose of maturity.
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Ecce Homo! Loquitur...
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Peripatetic
Posts: 12,128
New laws for housholders 
If you are found to be in possession of a garden gate that doesn't open easily, you will be heavily fined.
If your letterbox is not immediately apparent to anyone approaching the house you will be evicted and your house handed over to a family who will undertake to fit a visible letterbox.
If your letterbox is at ankle level, or is in any way difficult to open or is fitted with those brushes (for some reason called a Joan Collins by some posties) that make putting a leaflet through virtually impossible so that it ends up looking like a screwed up piece of paper... you will be violently flogged in public.
If you possess a dog which barks violently the moment anyone touches a front door you will lose your home, be flogged in public, and serve a six-month prison sentence.
If you possess a dog which waits silently behind your front door until a finger appears in view through the letterbox, you will have your house possessed, you will be violently flogged on live television, you will serve a long prison sentence, and then you will be executed by firing squad.
Did I mention the fact that I have delivered a lot of leaflets over the last couple of days?
If you are found to be in possession of a garden gate that doesn't open easily, you will be heavily fined.
If your letterbox is not immediately apparent to anyone approaching the house you will be evicted and your house handed over to a family who will undertake to fit a visible letterbox.
If your letterbox is at ankle level, or is in any way difficult to open or is fitted with those brushes (for some reason called a Joan Collins by some posties) that make putting a leaflet through virtually impossible so that it ends up looking like a screwed up piece of paper... you will be violently flogged in public.
If you possess a dog which barks violently the moment anyone touches a front door you will lose your home, be flogged in public, and serve a six-month prison sentence.
If you possess a dog which waits silently behind your front door until a finger appears in view through the letterbox, you will have your house possessed, you will be violently flogged on live television, you will serve a long prison sentence, and then you will be executed by firing squad.
Did I mention the fact that I have delivered a lot of leaflets over the last couple of days?
Ecce Homo! Loquitur...
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Peripatetic
Posts: 12,128
Thought police antagonist
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Where I always have been...firmly in the real world
Posts: 1,124
" Election Exclusive: Inside No. 10 as Gordon Brown Prepares Historic Trip to Palace "
There is possibly a large number of the UK population who would suggest a historic trip to the Tower of London would be more apt........followed by Clegg and Cameron.....
There is possibly a large number of the UK population who would suggest a historic trip to the Tower of London would be more apt........followed by Clegg and Cameron.....
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: here, there, everywhere
Age: 44
Posts: 119
Oh goody, now its going to be on tv 24/7, what a joy that would be. Sooooooo glad i left the bloody place.
Spent about 30 mins on the slap-o-meter the other day, time well spent and enjoyable.
May the best man win.
Spent about 30 mins on the slap-o-meter the other day, time well spent and enjoyable.
May the best man win.
Recidivist
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Essex, UK
Posts: 1,239
Looks like it will indeed be on TV 24/7 if this morning is anything to go by.
BBC1 cancelled all programmes to bring us 3 boring hours of Broon visiting Brenda.
Wonder if anyone actually watched it? Bet it's cost us a lot.
BBC1 cancelled all programmes to bring us 3 boring hours of Broon visiting Brenda.
Wonder if anyone actually watched it? Bet it's cost us a lot.
Thought police antagonist
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Where I always have been...firmly in the real world
Posts: 1,124
" Looks like it will indeed be on TV 24/7 if this morning is anything to go by.
BBC1 cancelled all programmes to bring us 3 boring hours of Broon visiting Brenda "
That's merely a precursor to the next event in the year....the World
Cup.
Switch "OFF"...go.
BBC1 cancelled all programmes to bring us 3 boring hours of Broon visiting Brenda "
That's merely a precursor to the next event in the year....the World
Cup. Switch "OFF"...go.
Cunning Artificer
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: The spiritual home of DeHavilland
Age: 74
Posts: 3,125
I've already been out shoving leaflets and canvassing for the past two weeks. My bit of Welwyn-Hatfield is a Labour enclave, but one has to play one's part. Nobody has set a Pit Bull on me yet, so thats a positive sign. I'm banished to Welham Green this evening; party HQ seems to think its a safer place for a grey haired old geezer.
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Southeast U K
Posts: 291
I'm very disappointed in you Blacksheep.
Spending hours pushing leaflets through letterboxes indeed.
Any one shoving leaflets through letterboxes in support of any
political party should be shot for wasting time and paper.
I keep the waste paper bin in close proximity to the letterbox,
and a small sign to redirect ANY political crap to be posted
DIRECTLY into it.
Saves me having to do it.
Spending hours pushing leaflets through letterboxes indeed.
Any one shoving leaflets through letterboxes in support of any
political party should be shot for wasting time and paper.
I keep the waste paper bin in close proximity to the letterbox,
and a small sign to redirect ANY political crap to be posted
DIRECTLY into it.
Saves me having to do it.
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Lemonia. Best Greek in the world
Posts: 1,714
I've been a voter in the UK rather longer than I care to remember. However, I've never, ever, been canvassed.
What's it like being canvassed? One wonders.
But back to the issue.........Do you simply say Foxtrot Oscar, or do you wait for the opposition to turn up, and then engage them in intelligent conversation for hours so that they can't influence anyone else?
A bloke that I was at school with is an MP. Has been for years, and has flirted with Junior Ministerial positions. I'm not sure who he was having those positions with.
Shame, really, as he was a bright lad, and quite a good wing forward. Quicker than me, but not quite as good in the rough and tumble.
What's it like being canvassed? One wonders.
But back to the issue.........Do you simply say Foxtrot Oscar, or do you wait for the opposition to turn up, and then engage them in intelligent conversation for hours so that they can't influence anyone else?
A bloke that I was at school with is an MP. Has been for years, and has flirted with Junior Ministerial positions. I'm not sure who he was having those positions with.
Shame, really, as he was a bright lad, and quite a good wing forward. Quicker than me, but not quite as good in the rough and tumble.
Cunning Artificer
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: The spiritual home of DeHavilland
Age: 74
Posts: 3,125
Quite, Norm.
But did Gormless Gordon not vapourise your pension?
..and do you have a son-in-law who has been made redundant, so you have to help out your daughter with "food subsidy"?
...and oblige you to spend 25% of your paltry income supporting your children and parents?
...and steal the house from your parents anyway?
...and put you on short time, with the threat of redundancy still hanging over your own head?
I'm one of the working men and women that he has steadfastly both ignored and pillaged for 13 years and he's finally made me angry enough to participate, so he bl**dy well has.
Canvassing is simply a party-political opinion poll.
We're not out looking to convert people on their doorsteps. Basically we'll chat you up and ask your opinions and answer any questions, should you be moved to ask them.
Then there's the polling day commando hit squad...
But did Gormless Gordon not vapourise your pension?
..and do you have a son-in-law who has been made redundant, so you have to help out your daughter with "food subsidy"?
...and oblige you to spend 25% of your paltry income supporting your children and parents?
...and steal the house from your parents anyway?
...and put you on short time, with the threat of redundancy still hanging over your own head?
I'm one of the working men and women that he has steadfastly both ignored and pillaged for 13 years and he's finally made me angry enough to participate, so he bl**dy well has.
However, I've never, ever, been canvassed
We're not out looking to convert people on their doorsteps. Basically we'll chat you up and ask your opinions and answer any questions, should you be moved to ask them.
Then there's the polling day commando hit squad...
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Hants
Posts: 2,294
Storminnorm,
Hear Hear.
Why do we need leaflets nowadays when there are so many other ways of communicating to the masses?
It's ironic that we are being taxed to the hilt to be more 'environmentally friendly', yet the politicos are happy for swathes of trees to be pulped so they can print their propoganda, printed and distributed wasting lots of other resources in the process.
The fact the Green party do it as well is even more ironic.
I'm not some puritanical tree hugger, but the hypocrisy sticks in my craw.
I honestly thought we were in the electronic age.
Hear Hear.
Why do we need leaflets nowadays when there are so many other ways of communicating to the masses?
It's ironic that we are being taxed to the hilt to be more 'environmentally friendly', yet the politicos are happy for swathes of trees to be pulped so they can print their propoganda, printed and distributed wasting lots of other resources in the process.
The fact the Green party do it as well is even more ironic.
I'm not some puritanical tree hugger, but the hypocrisy sticks in my craw.
I honestly thought we were in the electronic age.
