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Care to share your most memorable in-flight messages?

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Care to share your most memorable in-flight messages?

Old 17th Nov 2009, 21:48
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Care to share your most memorable in-flight messages?

Sitting in a UA passenger seat, having transited the Atlantic, flying down the UK and listening to the enroute transmissions, I heard an American Airlines flight request a direct route towards Heathrow.

The controller declined to grant his request, saying it would take him directly through a Danger Area.....whereupon an unidentified voice broke in and said, simply, "Go for it!"

*******

And on another occasion, I was flying my Supercub and asked Birmingham at least four times if I could climb into controlled airspace (yes, it was transponder equipped, and I was qualified), each time the controller declined, saying he was too busy .....

Whereupon a Speedbird chimed in and told me, in very posh tones, "You're not in America now, you know!"
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Old 17th Nov 2009, 21:51
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From ATC

CWLXX Traffic in your six o'clock range 3 miles, avoiding action maintain heading!!!
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Old 17th Nov 2009, 21:52
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On holiday at a five star hotel in Bali, the girl there pushed so hard that her right thumb was twice the size of her left thumb. It's also the first itme that a girl has actually walked on my back - and what she could do with ther heels was sublime.


.... oh! messages!
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Old 18th Nov 2009, 01:08
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Tracking just to the north of Melbourne and the inbounds were plentiful - particularly Virgin Blue. Lots of calls along the lines of "Virgin 555 request descent...."

And then somebody chips in with "There seems to be a lot of virgins going down at the moment".
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Old 18th Nov 2009, 04:23
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Years ago taxiing at Bankstown some other aircraft (female pilot) open mic.....talking about non aviation related [email protected] for ages.

Finally Grnd manages to get on freq stating 'will the lady transmitting realise she has an open mic' or some such. All goes silent.

Male Aussie voice on Grnd Freq then states "bloody typical"

Had to stop taxiing my a/c as I was laughing so hard.
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Old 18th Nov 2009, 07:16
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A few years ago instructing from a certain grass strip in Dorset whilst taxing. Student and moi discussing the various attributes of the lass behind the ops desk who also was manning the air ground radio.

Think it was when we discussed if she "went like a barn door in a gale" that I realised we had an open mike whoops moment!

What sort of heels was she wearing Checkers
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Old 18th Nov 2009, 16:15
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Turn your sound on and listen to these, I died with laughter:

Funny airport announcements
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Old 18th Nov 2009, 16:17
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I died with laughter
Slight exageration there?
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Old 18th Nov 2009, 16:23
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If you weren't so quick to make a pointless comment over a common figure of speech, you might have spelt 'exaggeration' correctly.
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Old 18th Nov 2009, 16:33
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Amos
Sorry I was so quick to want to type what Gainesy did, I was about to then scrolled down one post to see the comment already there. Fair cop!
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Old 18th Nov 2009, 16:34
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" We will be banking right and will give you a good look at the red tiled roofs of Sydney - landing in five minutes"

BOAC B707 1969 SFO-SYD
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Old 18th Nov 2009, 17:01
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What a little ray of sunshine.
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Old 18th Nov 2009, 17:10
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A pax announcement by one skipper in a (was then) well known charter division of BEA, many folks may remember him from BEA then DC3s through the Channel Islands.

"If we've got any Honeymoon Couples on board, greetings and don't forget to kiss each other on all four cheeks"

RIP & god bless ya Bill S.
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Old 18th Nov 2009, 17:53
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One night when we were about an hour out of Santa Maria, the US Military base in the Azores, we were informed that we would not be allowed to land. I was the PF and the guy in the right seat who was PIC picked up the mike and just said "roger". We had to land in the Azores, we didn't have enough fuel to go anywhere else, ATC knew that.

After about ten minutes ATC came back and informed us that we now had permission to land, but we would not be allowed to depart.

We looked at each other, and the guy in the right seat replied, "roger".

We landed, then departed on schedule. We never did find out what all the 'you can't land, then you can't depart' nonsense was about. The tower and Base Operations didn't know a thing about it.

I figured that they wanted us to land at the civil airport so they could charge us a landing fee.
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Old 18th Nov 2009, 18:29
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FR approaching GRN is given runway 02, requests 20 (a straight in).

GRN ATC replies "Sir, you may have 20 or 02, this is an alfresco airport"

Lovely !
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Old 18th Nov 2009, 21:43
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Ireland of the Welcomes

1993, working Dublin Centre, heard an American accent call Dublin but using the old name of "Collinstown".

Controller acknowledged the call, but pointed out that it hadn't been called Collinstown in over thirty years.

Soft American drawl says, "You know, I ain't bin here in over thirty years!"

Without missing a beat, Controller says "Well you're welcome back!"
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Old 18th Nov 2009, 21:45
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Sir George Cayley
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From another thread.

'merican xxx continue heading too fower zeero downind.

Roger, but my copilot say's he has the field.

OK your co-pilot's cleared visual approach. the rest of y'all continue down wind!

From a camp BA No 1...

"And a light and a whistle for attracting a passing sailor"

Sir George Cayley
 
Old 18th Nov 2009, 21:54
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Working shannon Centre one time, American voice calls ATC with a FLight Plan update. Shannon tells him to go ahead. The message was a little on the long side and involved, as far as I can recall, co-ordinates and revisions to estimates for intersections and so on.

Controller in Shannon replied in a fairly thick local Clare accent.

ATC: "N****, I have good nooz (news) and I have bad nooz for oo (you)!"

Pause

Pilot: "Aaah, I'm sorry, sir!"

ATC (slowly this time): N****, I - have - good - nooz - and - I - have - bad - nooz - for - oo!"

Pause

Pilot: "Aaah, yes, sir!"

ATC: "De good nooz is I got all dat, de bad nooz is dat oo have to do it all agin for Shannon Oceanic on Frequency 1**.**!"

Last edited by heliski22; 19th Nov 2009 at 18:53.
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Old 18th Nov 2009, 22:00
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Coming out of Atlanta on a Delta flight to Ireland on the homeward leg of a gruelling three day round trip to Tucson, Cabin Crew welcomed us aboard "our non-stop flight to Dublin/Shannon"

My colleague, already tired and weary, looked up in dismay and announced to all within earshot........

"It f***in' better be non-stop, we're going across the bleedin' Atlantic!"
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Old 19th Nov 2009, 03:23
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Early 1950's and a USAF transport is taxying out at an airbase in Japan with a load of servicemen bound for the Korean war.
It is mid winter and the flight is mostly over the uninviting Sea of Japan.

A grizzled old master sergeant loadmaster is giving the safety briefing.
"In the event of us having to ditch you will find a rubber immersion suit underneath your seat.
If you manage to get into it before we hit the water it will keep you warm while you are drowning".
.
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