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Examples of Male Cluelessness???

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Examples of Male Cluelessness???

Old 9th Apr 2009, 00:50
  #1 (permalink)  
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Examples of Male Cluelessness???

Just reading the thread on Gingernuts clueless doggy reminded me of my own blindness when it comes to members of the opposite sex. In fact I can relate totally to poor Max and his lack of knowledge in all matters carnal at a young age.

Years ago I was a Bakery Manager for a supermarket and was working on the early morning shift. The only people in the store were myself and the Apprentice when the staff entry door bell rang. Now no-one was due in for another three hours so I was surprised when I let the Deli 2IC in. She was quite a pretty thing and dumb as a post.

She sidled up to me and whispered in my ear that she noticed when she opened her legs to get out of the car that it was very breezy and she had a feel and noticed that she forgot to put her knickers on when she got dressed. She giggled, asked me if I thought that was funny and said I should keep her little secret.

I just looked at her and said "f**k you're stupid" and walked back to the bakery.

Now, years later I can look back and see what was being offered and what I turned down. At the time of course I just thought she was passing on some useless information. I guess that I also qualify as being dumb as a post (bordering on retarded).

My wife loves that story and says it explains why she had to be so forward in her approach to me cos I just wasn't getting the hint after 4 months (No I will not share that story here). It also gives her comfort that I am at no risk of having an affair because I wouldn't know who was interested.

I am sure that I am not the only one in this boat of being blind and clueless in regard to the opposite sex, but are there any others who would be willing to confess to similar stupidity and blindness?????
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Old 9th Apr 2009, 01:11
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I certainly would.

Been given the nod numerous times & not noticed till after, a reasonable amount of times by some quite smart ladies.

Sometimes I think I'm thick as pigs***e. I'll be cursing meself on me deathbed.

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Old 9th Apr 2009, 01:19
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During my single days my friends have told me that I unknowingly have turned down more sex than most men have tried to get.

Don't really know how to take that.

But some times I'm really rather clueless when it comes to the opposite sex.

I'm the type of guy that believes that;

No, means no.

Maybe really means no.

And yes probably means no.
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Old 9th Apr 2009, 01:28
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I well remember as a testosterone charged, but shy virginal 15 year old being taken into the (very dark) park by my then girlfriend; being presented with a pair of bodice ripping boobs lit quite nicely in the moonlight and being told "You can do whatever you like to me"

My reply......?

"No thanks B******, you're too nice a girl"

I've been kicking myself ever since.
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Old 9th Apr 2009, 02:41
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Old 9th Apr 2009, 04:37
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Me - 17, shy, naive.

Her - 16, drunk, stunning from the neck down and not too shabby from the neck up.

The place - crappy night club in small town.

Vital detail - had the house to myself due to parental unit and sister being away in the colonies. That was when I discovered the kitchen held precisely enough plates and cutlery for one person to eat for 3 weeks prior to washing dishes. My bedroom was typical of a messy teenager whose mother had given up telling him to tidy, as in, it would have taken several hours of removing books and magazines to discover the colour of the carpet. One of the two livingrooms was, however, presentable.

Her actions - sat on my knee in the club, undid her bra when my hand wandered inside her top. Inserted tongue as far as it would go into my mouth.

What I said as we left the club - "would you like to come back to my place for coffee?"

What she replied - "if it's just for coffee, I'm not coming."

What I stupidly did - took her at her word and walked her home to her parents house, as I was too embarrassed to take her upstairs at my house, and too stupid to realise we could have done it in the bloody livingroom.

There have been many other examples of similar stupidity on my part, but that one sticks in my mind, largely due to the incredible figure I passed up...
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Old 9th Apr 2009, 07:27
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While floating around the pool on my back with a beer balanced on my chest at a party, I had to be hooked and dragged to the side of the pool by a mate using a leaf scoop, who then pointed out the lissome young lady ogling one's *ahem* physique while hovering about the edge of the pool. Apparently she'd been there all evening trying to get the attention of the brainless flotsam drifting about with it's eyes shut bumping into the Kreepy Krauly hose.

Didn't last long but it was fun while it did.

Been informed by mates that it wasn't the only opportunity that went unnoticed.
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Old 9th Apr 2009, 07:34
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I have wondered in reality who needs to bash whom over the head with the dinosaur bashing stick to drag the other one back to the cave! Even my girl friend keeps telling me that I'm being chatted up by other women. She doesn't get jealous because she knows that I haven't got a clue as to what's really going on!
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Old 9th Apr 2009, 07:39
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I don't know how many times I found out three months later - and in one case, 10 bloody years later! - how well I was doing, and how well I would have done if I'd only made 'the' move.

Maxie Missout would haved been a more apt PPRuNe 'handle' than the one I chose.
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Old 9th Apr 2009, 08:42
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At last!

The knowledge that I am not alone!

All too excruciatingly painful to confess here, but I relate to every post, bar the cartoon ( that never happened to me, and even then.....)
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Old 9th Apr 2009, 09:21
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Nope the wisdom passed onto me many years ago has stood me in good stead.
If she's using the blunt end of the barge pole you've a chance.
If she's using the Sharp end of the barge pole It's a definate NO!

I often wonder how much the blunt end hurts!
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Old 9th Apr 2009, 09:26
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Yep, I am also a member of this club.

Normally realise a few days later when my friends tell me what I missed. But of course by that time it is to late.
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Old 9th Apr 2009, 09:36
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Hello. My name is Carry0nLuggage and I have taken too much interest in the plate to see what was being offered on it.
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Old 9th Apr 2009, 09:59
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I too can admit to being colour blind when it comes to "female traffic lights"
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Old 9th Apr 2009, 10:07
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All of the above....

Yes! But what can be done about it? WHY do men miss these signals? Self absorbtion?
C'mon ladies out there - give us a clue. Whirls, lexxy where are you?
The Ancient Mariner
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Old 9th Apr 2009, 10:11
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Oh, I is sure they are far too polite to comment on this thread ... or they are just too busying peeing themselves, laughing!
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Old 9th Apr 2009, 10:16
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Years back, girl in the office quips...
'Do you want to go and get a video?'
'What for? It's the middle of the afternoon.'

Turned round too see a male colleague doing comic forehead slapping.
Then even another girl said something along the lines of 'You are stupid.'

I made up for lost time later. But 'going for a video' became a catch phrase.
Notice that's video, not DVD.
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Old 9th Apr 2009, 10:44
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Oh, I is sure they are far too polite to comment on this thread ... or they are just too busying peeing themselves, laughing!
are we really? who? us? moi even?

I will refrain from commenting on that post, it's soooo hard, but I will try...

However - I will say, it can work both ways - I myself have been subjected to similar situations whereupon my friends have 'gently' informed me that I was being a clueless twit!
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Old 9th Apr 2009, 11:13
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I knocked back a fairly explicit invitation at a gig when the young lady in question reminded me we used to play together as children. She was an unpreposessing wee thing as a child, but she was gorgeous when she hit her 20s. It just seemed odd, somehow. Gawd; have I regretted it since.
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Old 9th Apr 2009, 11:37
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Oh lawdy lawdy what a hoot. I have had so many cups of freaking coffee (and I can’t stand the stuff) instead of what I was thinking or expecting.

When I was 18, I thought, “come back to my place for coffee” meant “come back to my place for a damned good seeing to”. Er no, apparently, it meant coffee. And coffee was what I got.

Gee guys, believe me, if a girl ain’t interested she will struggle to hide her contempt for you; it will be writ large on her forehead, “Feck off creep”.

If a girl says “No”, it means “no”. If a girl says “Maybe”, it means “no but I’m too polite to say so” and if a girl says “Yes”, well, it means “yes”. We do KNOW what “coffee” means and, by gum, if we only get coffee, we is disappointed.


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