Go Back  PPRuNe Forums > PPRuNe Social > Jet Blast
Reload this Page >

Examples of Male Cluelessness???

Jet Blast Topics that don't fit the other forums. Rules of Engagement apply.

Examples of Male Cluelessness???

Old 10th Apr 2009, 07:25
  #81 (permalink)  

Hovering AND talking
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Propping up bars in the Lands of D H Lawrence and Bishop Bonner
Age: 54
Posts: 5,711
Originally Posted by Solid Rust Twotter
Could be a clue there. I refuse to play that game so a lot of the more subtle stuff probably goes right over my head.
Yeah, I agree. Can't stand golf either.

Cheers

Whirls
Whirlygig is offline  
Old 10th Apr 2009, 07:37
  #82 (permalink)  
Ecce Homo! Loquitur...
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Peripatetic
Posts: 10,002
ORAC is online now  
Old 10th Apr 2009, 07:38
  #83 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Planet Tharg
Posts: 2,471
Golf? If it has horses it must be polo. Probably uses the same bats though.
Solid Rust Twotter is offline  
Old 10th Apr 2009, 07:45
  #84 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: 38N
Posts: 356
Amazing how much energy we invest, simply for the opportunity and effect of mixing our things up with other people's things. But for a few useful moments where actually effective for copying the blueprints, this design imposes a considerable burden and tax on the body and on the soul. And this is the miracle of humanity!

Oh, well.

Very few things make me truly and irremediably wet-cat sad, but this thread has done it. The ignored gaffes, repressed embarrassments, historic social calamities so profound as to not be allowed to have names - and more - have most all been summoned up by it for a Halloween of pecking away the last tattered shreds of illusion that my social life as yet, and well down the candle it is, has been a paucity of other than avalanching mistake, error and confusion ending ever more badly as it melts to soup in the icy mud of end-game introspection.

Perhaps some actual confession is in order, but where to begin?
arcniz is offline  
Old 10th Apr 2009, 13:25
  #85 (permalink)  

Avoid imitations
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Wandering the FIR and cyberspace often at highly unsociable times
Posts: 12,222
The answer: 78% would prefer to play a round at Augusta.
I'm in the 22% who would rather play a round with Ms. Rafaeli.

Well someone was going to say it...
ShyTorque is online now  
Old 10th Apr 2009, 14:28
  #86 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: .
Age: 44
Posts: 69
The direct approach, guys... which reminds me, Syllo, have you written that book yet, the one you promised on AA a few years ago?
Too Short is offline  
Old 10th Apr 2009, 15:13
  #87 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Tel Aviv
Age: 50
Posts: 146
A quote by Steve Martin...

You know 'that look' women get when they want sex?

Me neither.
Rev I. Tin is online now  
Old 10th Apr 2009, 15:25
  #88 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Southeast U K
Posts: 291
I'd prefer the golf, and I don't even play the game.

But it would be cheaper than a Divorce.
Storminnorm is offline  
Old 10th Apr 2009, 15:26
  #89 (permalink)  

Just Binos
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Mackay, Australia
Age: 66
Posts: 1,397
The question, asked only of male golfers was: given the choice would you rather play Augusta National (the club where the Masters is held) or have a date with Bar Rafaeli?
While I have no concept of just who is the oddly named Ms Rafaeli may be, the crucial part of this question is the first qualifying clause; to wit,
asked only of male golfers .
Had 78% of straight male Americans responded thus, I would not have have been surprised. Where the hell is Augusta, right?

But to find it was posed only to male golfers concerns me, and I am rather tempted to think that 22% of American male golfers are gay. No golfer, except perhaps members of Augusta National, would knock back a chance to play on that turf to indulge in a simple shag, regardless of the recipient.

As flytest might say, they are all pink inside, n'est-ce pas? Or as a very cultured Aussie mate once opined to me; mate, they've all got a yard and a half of sh*t in their bowel.

A round at Augusta is a forlorn dream of a once in a lifetime experience. Even the chance of a night with Elle MacPherson wouldn't sway me. What would I do, tell all my mates at the Aero Club about a night with Elle?

Wiley, you old dog, you have taken my favourite and most frequently quoted DB column and changed the names from Roger and Elaine. This is a disgraceful display of plagiarism of my plagiarism, and you should be ashamed. Go on, do a search of me and Dave Barry!

Regardless, it remains the funniest and most insightful version of Men/Mars Women/Venus ever written, and in less than a thousand words, so I will forgive you for giving it another airing. A simple search will produce the whole column.
Binoculars is offline  
Old 10th Apr 2009, 18:25
  #90 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: leafy suburbs
Posts: 308
What is on their mind?

A variation to Wiley's post...

A few months back myself and a work colleague were just generally chit chatting in the aircraft cabin when the Turnround Co-ordinater came up to us and said " I shouldn't really mention this but (and so she does!) you know when you're having sex, why men are so intense? When I am having sex I am thinking about other things"

I was a bit shocked myself that this was just blurted out.

My colleague chirpped up "No wonder men get little response from women. I suppose you were thinking about what you were going to have for dinner when you finished sex, was the washing dry yet and ..... hasn't he finished yet.....!"
keel beam is offline  
Old 10th Apr 2009, 18:30
  #91 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Seattle
Age: 59
Posts: 162
keel... that's sad on so many levels, I don't know where to begin!
CityofFlight is offline  
Old 11th Apr 2009, 21:54
  #92 (permalink)  
Ecce Homo! Loquitur...
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Peripatetic
Posts: 10,002
ORAC is online now  
Old 11th Apr 2009, 22:20
  #93 (permalink)  
I'll mak siccar
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Tir nan Og
Posts: 282
When I am having sex I am thinking about other things"
In France: "Oooh! La! La!"

In Italy: "Mamma mia! Mamma mia!"

In Germany: "Ach! Putzi! du Liebling!"

In Saskatchewan: "Beige! Next time we'll paint the ceiling beige!".
Davaar is offline  
Old 11th Apr 2009, 23:00
  #94 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 1,451
Wiley, you old dog, you have taken my favourite and most frequently quoted DB column and changed the names from Roger and Elaine. This is a disgraceful display of plagiarism of my plagiarism, and you should be ashamed. Go on, do a search of me and Dave Barry!
Not totally guilty, Binos. I simply went looking for the piece online and that's what came up. I was a little surprised myself to see the change of names, because, like you, I've told so many people about Roger and Elaine many must think I'm on commission from DB.

IMHO, Roger and Elaine just pip "The Rules to Using Men's Urinals" as DB's funniest skit. (If there's any man out there who hasn't read the urinal rules, do a web search and be prepared for a good laugh. Ladies, you can spare yourselves this one. You wouldn't - and don't need to - understand. Unless perhaps you're Japanese. I believe they have [or had] ladies' public urinals, so the men's rules probably apply to them as well.)

------

keel beam, your comments are a variation of the classic female mid-coitus comment: "Sam, the ceiling needs painting."
Wiley is offline  
Old 11th Apr 2009, 23:13
  #95 (permalink)  

Avoid imitations
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Wandering the FIR and cyberspace often at highly unsociable times
Posts: 12,222
keel beam, your comments are a variation of the classic female mid-coitus comment: "Sam, the ceiling needs painting."
Or,

"If I'm asleep when you're finished, tuck my nightie down"
ShyTorque is online now  
Old 12th Apr 2009, 12:36
  #96 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: leafy suburbs
Posts: 308
keel beam, your comments are a variation of the classic female mid-coitus comment: "Sam, the ceiling needs painting."
Wiley

Well, I did not say how large the variation was, but after re-reading your original post perhaps no variation at all ,
keel beam is offline  
Old 14th Apr 2009, 00:57
  #97 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Wanna Be Up There...
Age: 48
Posts: 278
Happiness is finding out you are not alone
notmyC150v2 is offline  
Old 14th Apr 2009, 01:16
  #98 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Redding CA, or on a fire somewhere
Posts: 1,671


Gordy is online now  
Old 14th Apr 2009, 01:23
  #99 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: australia
Posts: 607
Augusta. 4-5 hours. 18 holes.
Amen corner. No contest.
In my single days, eternity was the time between when you come and she goes.
max1 is offline  
Old 14th Apr 2009, 01:43
  #100 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Redding CA, or on a fire somewhere
Posts: 1,671
A similar one to the DB post:

LIFE WITH A PILOT

HER Diary:

Tonight I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say I love you too. When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V.

He seemed distant and absent.

Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else.

He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

HIS Diary:

Made the worst landing of my life today, but at least I got laid.
Gordy is online now  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us Archive Advertising Cookie Policy Privacy Statement Terms of Service

Copyright 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.