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Economics explained with cows + a few sheep

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Economics explained with cows + a few sheep

Old 12th Sep 2008, 10:47
  #1 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: england
Age: 41
Posts: 38
Economics explained with cows + a few sheep

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.


COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated
general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island
Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven
cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows,
with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States,
leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then
buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.


A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two sheep.
The one on the left looks very attractive.
MarlboroLite is offline  
Old 12th Sep 2008, 10:58
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 58
I know we're supposed to recycle, but...

http://www.pprune.org/jet-blast/6522...-cows-new.html

Hasn't changed much in 6 years either.
Forkandles is offline  
Old 12th Sep 2008, 12:27
  #3 (permalink)  
Sprucegoose
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Hughes Point, where life is great! Was also resident on page 13, but now I'm lost in Cyberspace....
Age: 54
Posts: 3,492
Actually it's reduce, re-use, recycle...
Howard Hughes is offline  
Old 12th Sep 2008, 13:41
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Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Cape Town
Posts: 1,852
AFRICAN STYLE

The Swedish government gives you 2 cows
You use one for lobola to get another wife
You have a big wedding party and eat the other cow
You demand 2 more cows......

Mac the Knife is offline  
Old 12th Sep 2008, 14:41
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: De Dam
Posts: 28
PPRUNE VERSION

You have 2 cows.
Remember years ago when when we only had one cow but nobody got stabbed?
Bloody Poles - coming over here drinking our milk.
My cows have been frightened by a low-flying Israeli jet.
Cows today, dear oh dear.
What does George Bush know about dairy farming? Nothing!
There once was a heifer called Billy...
13thDuke is offline  
Old 12th Sep 2008, 15:13
  #6 (permalink)  
Fit like min?
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ...
Posts: 2,010
NULABOURISM

You have two cows, but rising costs mean you need some help. The Govt dithers & dithers, then screws you by putting up taxes to fight wars overseas. You are teetering on the brink when terrorists launch an attack on your cows, killing them. It is then discovered that your cows had foot & mouth disease anyway, spread by a Govt-run Dept.

You, bankrupt & broken, wonder why you ever took up bloody farming in the first place...
Richard Taylor is online now  
Old 12th Sep 2008, 15:18
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: South of Old Warden
Age: 82
Posts: 1,380
13thDuke

A most incisive observation
goudie is offline  
Old 12th Sep 2008, 15:19
  #8 (permalink)  
Incurable Romantic
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Nr ABX (NSW)
Posts: 73
[QUOTE][TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income/QUOTE] Tell that to an Aussie dairy farmer getting 17 cents a litre for his milk and ask him if he could retire-then run-fast before he lets the bull out of the paddock.
NIGELINOZ is offline  

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