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If you were PM for a day...

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If you were PM for a day...

Old 12th Jan 2006, 16:29
  #21 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: manchester
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Re: If you were PM for a day...

I'd insist that my annual salary be paid to me in full on that particular day. then declare that from that point onwards i would donate all of my future income to a young fellow called neil mulligan, who needs it for more important things.
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Old 12th Jan 2006, 16:48
  #22 (permalink)  

Hovering AND talking
 
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Re: If you were PM for a day...

Having just encountered YET ANOTHER appalling display of driving skills in North Norfolk, I would mandate that everyone has to re-do their driving test every five years. There will be a minimum number of driving hours that have to be done in the interim thus getting rid of dozy women who drive to the school, supermarket and back and never drive on motorways 'cos that's too scary. Ditto little old ladies (of either gender). The driving test will be made a lot harder (involving motorway driving, night driving, rain driving, fog driving etc).

Cheers

Whirls
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Old 12th Jan 2006, 16:58
  #23 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: cage wheel
Posts: 42
Re: If you were PM for a day...

I'd bring back hanging for the day for fat, triple chinned Scottish politicians !

( Wass up Whirls ? I'll sort em out for yer !! )
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Old 12th Jan 2006, 17:15
  #24 (permalink)  
StandupfortheUlstermen
 
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Re: If you were PM for a day...

Originally Posted by Whirlygig
Ditto little old ladies (of either gender).
mmm, that reminds me, I must avoid north Norfolk. Sounds a bit dodgy what with the geriatric trannies and all.
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Old 12th Jan 2006, 18:49
  #25 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Someplace where the water smells
Posts: 227
Re: If you were PM for a day...

Whats wrong with a good "dictatorship?"

Get prune in government, that would make things interesting!

"what do you mean you disagree?!!.............Hang the bastard!"

well, only if it was Draper was at the helm!
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Old 12th Jan 2006, 19:15
  #26 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Edinburgh UK
Age: 33
Posts: 16
Re: If you were PM for a day...

also make GCSEs and A levels as hard as they used to be.
I'm probably jumping in at the deep end here but I really feel the need to point out that not everything that is published in The Daily Mail is true. All the way through my A levels I had know-it-all arrogant old farts constantly telling me that what I was doing was a piece of cake, and well, it pissed me off to put it plainly. Yes, for Media Studies that is often true (I dropped it at AS level as I found it infuriating) but I'm sticking to my guns on this one, the structure of A levels may well be very different to how they used to be, but the syllabus is also much wider, making the majority of them just as hard as I'm sure they always have been. Grump over.
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Old 12th Jan 2006, 19:33
  #27 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2005
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Re: If you were PM for a day...

Edus...you took media studies as an option,therefore,utilising my pre 1990 education I hereby deduce that,you sir...are a ****

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Old 12th Jan 2006, 19:59
  #28 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 69
Re: If you were PM for a day...

Ban gap years.
Ban crustys with a dog on a bit of string.
Ban any idiot from speaking to me.
Ban call centres.
Ban cyclists.
Ban people who let their dog poo on the pavement.
Ban people who let their horses poo on the pavement.
Ban anti hunt types who live in the city.
Ban ASBO's for being a complete waste of time.
Ban cash machine charges to get your own money.
Ban bad beer.

Fos
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Old 12th Jan 2006, 20:40
  #29 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Milton Keynes
Posts: 3
Re: If you were PM for a day...

So many policies to agree with here, but I'll pick up on just one. Getting rid of Two Jags No Council Tax would ease my blood pressure immeasurably. Can anyone tell me, in all sincerity, what the point is of that thug? His routine slaughter of the English language has gone beyond the funny, his inabilty to introduce a single meaningful piece of legislation in 8 years despite taking full advantage of the grace and favour abodes and similar trappings makes him the worst kind of champagne socialist. And as for him being 'Minister for Turning Up at Disaster Sites', have the poor unfortunates not suffered enough? I could go on but my gasket needs replacing.
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Old 12th Jan 2006, 21:27
  #30 (permalink)  
Recidivist
 
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Location: Essex, UK
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Re: If you were PM for a day...

According to BBC News, the thug has just been stiffed for 4,000 Council Tax, paid by HMG (us) but actually his responsibility.
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Old 12th Jan 2006, 21:35
  #31 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Milton Keynes
Posts: 3
Re: If you were PM for a day...

Apparently an oversight on his part... yeah right. Surely even he could see that one was never going to fly. Simple ethics (and basic personal PR) - you're in charge of the department which oversees Council Tax, you make sure your record on payment is whiter than the proverbial.
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Old 12th Jan 2006, 22:06
  #32 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Edinburgh UK
Age: 33
Posts: 16
Re: If you were PM for a day...

sir
Well at least I can deduce that you didn't study biology.
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Old 12th Jan 2006, 22:23
  #33 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: New Forest
Posts: 119
Re: If you were PM for a day...

I would double road tax, but with the proviso that it came with govt funded third party insurance.
Anyone pulled over lacking said tax/insurance disc to be shot on the spot.

I would also ban Burberry, anyone caught wearing it shot on the spot.

Caravans only allowed on the road between the hours of 0100 - 0130, anyone caught flouting this rule to be locked inside said caravan and then caravan to be blown up.
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Old 12th Jan 2006, 23:06
  #34 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Newcastle/UK
Posts: 1,473
Re: If you were PM for a day...

The UK would just be a start of course,one would insist we take back the lands that are rightfully ours in France,**** it, we will take back the whole bloody place, then there is the rest of Europe of course,for their own good mind you,and once the middle and far east is in my hands one shall have oneself declared a God and appoint SWH as consule.
It ok Australia,your safe, I don't want you,one is raving mad, not daft.
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Old 12th Jan 2006, 23:09
  #35 (permalink)  
 
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Re: If you were PM for a day...

But Herr Draper, what about all the other colonies in Africa?? Surely they'll feel left out?
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Old 12th Jan 2006, 23:12
  #36 (permalink)  
 
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Location: Newcastle/UK
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Re: If you were PM for a day...

Ah yes Africa would have to be assimilated,if one leaves it as it is they will only break it.
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Old 13th Jan 2006, 00:01
  #37 (permalink)  

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Re: If you were PM for a day...

I would also ban Burberry, anyone caught wearing it shot on the spot.
I partially agree yet I don't. Some of us are of an age and background where we can remember what Burberry originally meant. Yeah, that's right guys, I'm a posh bird really!

I have a beautiful Burberry leather jacket yet feel embarassed to wear it in public. Why's that?

Cheers

Whirls
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Old 13th Jan 2006, 09:07
  #38 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: SX in SX in UK
Posts: 1,083
Re: If you were PM for a day...

I have a beautiful Burberry leather jacket yet feel embarassed to wear it in public. Why's that?
Because we'd have to call you Whirly-chav, or Chav-gig.

As PM, I would pass the Protection of Airfields Act. This would make it a hanging offence to propose the closure of any airfield.
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Old 13th Jan 2006, 09:10
  #39 (permalink)  

Hovering AND talking
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Propping up bars in the Lands of D H Lawrence and Bishop Bonner
Age: 54
Posts: 5,711
Re: If you were PM for a day...

That's the whole point - it's irksome that the chavs have taken over and given a bad image to a label that was once considered classic. It's going that way with Louis Vuitton as well!

Cheers

Whirls
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Old 13th Jan 2006, 11:39
  #40 (permalink)  
Oh Shazbat!
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Leeds, UK
Age: 59
Posts: 239
Re: If you were PM for a day...

Whirlybird - The words 'Leather' and 'Chav' would never be used together. Wear the jacket & no-one will question it!
Anyway - my PM actions:
1) All supermarket aisles made into Urban Clearways so no-one can stand and block the way while yakking to their neighbour. Instant fine of 1000 for any offender
2) Incentives for all companies to retain good staff over the age of 55 so that youngsters had a body of good common sense and experience to learn properly from.
3) All 'New' universities revoked, and youngsters encouraged to learn proper trades instead of doing Media Studies (see (2) above)
4) Double number of traffic police to catch silly b*****rs on roads instead of using more cameras. Give them instant powers to impound car of miscreant and make them walk home barefoot.
5) Revoke TV company licences so that they are not allowed to broadcast Breakfast or Day-Time TV. Also no Reality TV shows.
6) New law to ensure daily newspapers delivered before breakfast and not just as you are walking out of the door on your way to work.
I hope that all can see that these are common sense policies and not the ramblings of some grumpy old git!
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