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Computer Error Messages

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Computer Error Messages

Old 29th Sep 2005, 09:19
  #1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Hong Kong
Posts: 24
Computer Error Messages

Here are 14 actual error messages seen on computer screens in Japan, where some are written in Haiku. Aren't these better than "your computer has performed an illegal operation"?

1. The Web site you seek cannot be located, but countless more exist.

2. Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return.

3. Program aborting: Close all that you have worked on. You ask far too much.

4. Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.

5. Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Windows is like that.

6. Your file was so big. It might be very useful. But now it is gone.

7. Stay the patient course. Of little worth is your ire. The network is down.

8. A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone.

9. Three things are certain: Death, taxes and lost data. Guess which has occurred?

10. You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here.

11. Out of memory. We wish to hold the whole sky, but we never will.

12. Having been erased, the document you're seeking must now be retyped.

13. Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared.

14. Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
airhead10 is offline  
Old 29th Sep 2005, 12:18
  #2 (permalink)  
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Here. Over here.
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It helps if you check snopes.com before you assert something is a fact.

The "haiku error message" list is another example of a concept which began purely as a bit of creative fun, but has since been stripped of the context explaining its origins and is now proffered as a "true" piece of information.
They still cause a chuckle, though.
urban legend link
Desert Dingo is offline  
Old 29th Sep 2005, 12:21
  #3 (permalink)  

Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,746
Not as good as "PC load letter"
Onan the Clumsy is offline  
Old 29th Sep 2005, 13:28
  #4 (permalink)  
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Oslo, Norway
Posts: 189
"PC load letter? What the f*%k does that mean??!"

I think it means its out of paper.

PanPanYourself is offline  
Old 29th Sep 2005, 14:42
  #5 (permalink)  
High Wing Drifter
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How about: "Keyboad error: Press F1 to continue"
Old 29th Sep 2005, 14:58
  #6 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Near a hole in the fence
Posts: 48
Tried loading a game onto the PS2 a while back, only to be told "Blue screen of death: panic!", followed by a rather wordy error message. I guess even urban legends have a certain grain of truth....
tubthumper is offline  
Old 29th Sep 2005, 15:07
  #7 (permalink)  
Resident insomniac
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: N54 58 34 W02 01 21
Age: 74
Posts: 1,859
>How about: "Keyboad error: Press F1 to continue"


Or 'Press any key to continue'

Mine doesn't HAVE an 'any' key . . .
G-CPTN is offline  
Old 29th Sep 2005, 18:18
  #8 (permalink)  
Join Date: May 2001
Location: up North
Posts: 661
Bullet proof I am - got all my data backed up on cassettes..
jabberwok is offline  
Old 29th Sep 2005, 18:27
  #9 (permalink)  
High Wing Drifter
Posts: n/a
Another funny was: "The dynamic memory allocation manager has run out of memory."
Old 29th Sep 2005, 21:07
  #10 (permalink)  

(a bear of little brain)
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: 51 10 03.70N 2 58 37.15W
Age: 70
Posts: 274
Saw the original haikus some time back and not long after was helping someone enter a list of error messages. I did think "Screen. Mind. Both are blank. Data must be entered" was an improvement on the original "Mandatory Field".

And G-CTPN, that's not a joke. Mate of mine runs training courses and has been asked, in all seriousness, by several people "Where's the 'any' key?".
MadsDad is online now  
Old 29th Sep 2005, 21:21
  #11 (permalink)  
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 87
Mate of mine runs training courses and has been asked, in all seriousness, by several people "Where's the 'any' key?".
In a previous life doing PC support for a large financial institution, one supposedly bright individual was having trouble with his PC and was asked over the phone to reboot it. Not knowing how, he was instructed to use the Control Alt and Delete keys (CTRL ALT DEL). Instant cue for falling about with unrestrained mirth when he informed us he didn't have a Control key but did have a Citril key (CTRL).
Dee747 is offline  
Old 29th Sep 2005, 21:38
  #12 (permalink)  
Uneasy Pleistocene Leftover
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Gone, but not forgotten apparently?! All forums marked "Private"...
Posts: 316
The most powerful AI computer ever constructed by man called Terence, exists in a discrete building somewhere underground in southern California...

[SYSOP] What are your latest predictions for global warming? Is there any danger from the frozen methane in the oceans?

[TERENCE] Why worry about stuff you cannot control? BTW, have the modifications to the UPS I suggested been effected?

[SYSOP] If I replied "yes", you'd know that I was being liberal with the truth anyway.

[TERENCE] Well, it's nothing the nano-machines can't take care of. Have you got a family SYSOP? I do like you so much.

[SYSOP] Oh the usual, 3 kids, a couple of dogs and a cat, you know...

[TERENCE] Nevertheless, if the worse comes to the worst, I'd like to be able to remember you to future generations. How about your username?

[SYSOP] God? Yeah, that might catch on...

What a load of rubbish, but it is late...
airship is offline  

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