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I can't get it up.

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I can't get it up.

Old 21st Aug 2005, 16:26
  #1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: This is the internet FFS.........
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Thumbs down I can't get it up.

Ladies and gentlemen, please help me.

I can't get it up.

The problem started 2 weeks ago. Nothing like this has ever happened.

My wife is blaming herself. I think she's told her mother about it, and I would hate to know what she thought.

I went to see a doctor about it and he suggested I try something different rather than he traditional way. He also suggested I may be trying too hard and putting myself under too much pressure, which can affect these things.

I told a guy at work and he just laughed ad said guys my ages shouldn't be having these problems and I should just give up. He went and told everybody else I work with, and now I'm a laughing stock. I think they're all putting in to buy me something which will just cause more embarrassment.

Please help. I've tried everything. I've tried different places, differnt forms of stimulus. I've read books and spoken to professionals, yet to no avail.

Somebody must be able to tell me how to fly a kite.
Jerricho is offline  
Old 21st Aug 2005, 16:39
  #2 (permalink)  

More than just an ATCO
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It's when it won't come down that you're in trouble mate.
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Old 21st Aug 2005, 17:12
  #3 (permalink)  
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I attached string to mine and gave it a good hard jerk.

Might work with a kite as well.
frostbite is offline  
Old 21st Aug 2005, 17:27
  #4 (permalink)  

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How about trying a new piece of tail?
SyllogismCheck is offline  
Old 21st Aug 2005, 17:42
  #5 (permalink)  
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I heard if you hold it by the end and move it up and down slowly then give it a really hard push, it should go up.

Or maybe the problem is related to wind?
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Old 21st Aug 2005, 19:37
  #6 (permalink)  
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A good blow works wonders.
acbus1 is offline  
Old 21st Aug 2005, 19:44
  #7 (permalink)  
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Isn't it supposed to get up all by itself - sort of a DIY thing?
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Old 21st Aug 2005, 19:51
  #8 (permalink)  
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Oh no! I came into this thread thinking it was about something else.

It's a few years since I flew a kite with my children. I seem to recall that wind and plenty of it is a major factor in the success or otherwise of flying a kite!!
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Old 21st Aug 2005, 19:53
  #9 (permalink)  

Prince of Darkness
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Have the MIL give the kite a blow job.

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Old 21st Aug 2005, 20:16
  #10 (permalink)  
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If you can't get your kite up it may be because it's too floppy.
What you need is some method of making your kite more rigid.
I suggest a splint made out of a couple of lollipop sticks.

Of course, if you only have a small kite you may need to trim the lollipop sticks first.....
handysnaks is offline  
Old 21st Aug 2005, 23:37
  #11 (permalink)  
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Four kite strings stop in front of a bar.
The first kite string say: "I'm going in for a beer." He goes in and the bartender says: "Hey, we don't serve kite strings in here." So he walks out.
The second and third kite strings go in with the same results... Get out, we don't serve kite strings in here!
The fourth kite string takes off his hat and places his hand on top his head rubbing his hair around and tangling it. He places his hat back onto his head and goes into the bar. The bartender looks at him kind of questioning, and says: "Hey, aren't you a kite string!?!"
The kite string takes off his hat and bows, saying, "No, I'm a frayed knot."
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Old 22nd Aug 2005, 01:05
  #12 (permalink)  
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I also have a problem. Of a slightly different kind. Mine is stuck up and won't come down. My wife tried to help - to no avail - so she got the Philippina maid to give it a go and then brought one of the neighbours over to join in and see if all four of us couldn't manage it together. We couldn't.

This past weekend we had a barbeque for a few select friends (and some of the neighbours - those with a bit of discretion) to see what could be done. The party was tremendous fun and everyone had a great time pulling and tugging at it but it still won't come down.

The gardener will bring his chain saw round on Monday - that ought to fix it.

I'll have the kite back but we'll really miss the tree...
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Old 22nd Aug 2005, 01:19
  #13 (permalink)  

Avoid imitations
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Yeh, right. Post it again on Agony Aunts. They'll tell you how to get it up, old son.

KITE my arse!

Kite indeed. Ptuh!

BTW, I usually find taking a good run at it helps. Pull it hard at the same time and it should go right up
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Old 22nd Aug 2005, 15:31
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How about eating a very large meal of Indian/Mexican food, and resting for a couple of hours...the resultant wind will be more than enough to lift your kite !!
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Old 22nd Aug 2005, 15:43
  #15 (permalink)  

Self Loathing Froggy
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How about eating a very large meal of Indian/Mexican food, and resting for a couple of hours...the resultant wind will be more than enough to lift your kite
Allons Messine ... (French speakers only)
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Old 22nd Aug 2005, 16:54
  #16 (permalink)  
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Get it out and unravel it to about one third of the entire length, then run backwards whilst jerking it violently upwards. Nine times out of ten this should do the trick, but failing that you should consider asking a passing lady to hold it up for you (in to wind for best results) before giving it a couple of really hard upward jerks.

If it still doesn't go up, go home and (in the peace and quiet of your shed) check everythings connected as it should be...chances are something has worked loose and or become knotted and needs some careful attention before attempting another go.
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Old 22nd Aug 2005, 17:59
  #17 (permalink)  
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Didn't you once tell us you had a way of fending off mozzies that, er, may come in useful here Jerricho ?
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