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Snipping or Tying?

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Snipping or Tying?

Old 30th May 2005, 05:42
  #41 (permalink)  

Short Blunt Shock
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 631
the pain afterwards is no worse than catching yourself on the crossbar of your pushbike!
Only a woman, who by definition does not possess love spuds and has never therefore experienced this pain, could make such a comment!

"It's no worse than the most painful experience you have ever had in your life" is how that should have read, Whirls.

...or perhaps "It's no worse than being buggered with a rusty pitchfork"

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Old 30th May 2005, 07:48
  #42 (permalink)  

Hovering AND talking
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"It's no worse than the most painful experience you have ever had in your life"
Only a man who has never been pregnant, had periods or given birth could make such a comment


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Old 30th May 2005, 07:56
  #43 (permalink)  
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: over the rainbow
Posts: 66
Thats another good reason for the hysterectomy/get the whole plumbing ripped out outta the missus brigade!
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Old 30th May 2005, 08:05
  #44 (permalink)  
Scalextric for Men
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Southern England outside the M25
Posts: 277

Now in addition to the physical procedures: there is the expense. I read in a financial column, that a child costs £160,000 at 0 to 16 years. Surely for that outlay one could afford commercial pilot training?
No point preaching to those that don't want to be converted.
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Old 30th May 2005, 09:47
  #45 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: The Green Heart of Europe!
Age: 62
Posts: 233
Had the snip nearly four years ago. The best thing I ever did The ladies seem to like it

Price wise it was, as usual, the same price here in Euros as you lot pay in pounds

May the Matatu be with you (whenever you want it - safely!)

Matatu Man
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Old 30th May 2005, 09:55
  #46 (permalink)  

Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 354
Only a man who has never been pregnant, had periods or given birth could make such a comment
Give him a bit of leeway there, Whirls ... getting buggered with that rusty pitchfork must have hurt him a bit.
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Old 30th May 2005, 10:25
  #47 (permalink)  

Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 354
I know it hurts, Cheerio ... not from experience, you understand but because the guys all say it does. All one has to do is look at the agonised faces on "Funniest Home Videos" to understand that it's no joke ... judging by the sheer numbers of videos sent in it seems to be a distressingly frequent occurrence though.

(My own small nephew once gave me a black eye ... nowhere near as painful as your own injury, but it felt at the time as though he'd broken my nose. These toddlers definitely know how to use their hard heads.)
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Old 30th May 2005, 11:09
  #48 (permalink)  
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: The Road to Nowhere
Posts: 1,013
The crucial question for me was not whether the op or immediate after-effects would hurt, but whether 'the act' would feel the same without the little tadpoles. I checked with a mate before letting the surgeon at my gonads.

For those in the mil, the snip seems to be positively encouraged. Only took me a couple of months to get to the table after the first appointment with the MO.

Unfortunately, I got an infection which meant they grew to the size of large eggs (not quite tennis balls), leaving me in considerable discomfort whilst visiting a station somewhere near Walter Ash with the wife. Now those of you in the RAF will know what happens when you walk into a Med Centre without an apointment; "We have an appointment in 3 weeks with the dentist"... "We've only got the nurse in at the moment"..."The Medical Centre is closed between 0845 and 1630 for admin and arse scratching" etc etc. I walked in, staggered up to the desk and a young SAC(W) walked over and looked at me as if about to say one of the above phrases, at which point I simply said "I think I need to see a doctor".

No idea what I looked like but I was in some pain... she just said "don't move" and disappeared. Two minutes later my Gonads were in the hands of a very helpful and lovely lady with a smile on her face that I can still remember to this day. She gave me some extremely powerful antibiotics which started working immediately and all was well with the world (thanks Dr Mac). .

Would I recommend it? Yes if you've already got kids or don't want any, but the docs will talk all that through with you (and your missus!). Does it actually hurt? Had mine local anaesthetic, and it was uncomfortable but I think it was mostly in my mind. On the table the doc was having a bit of trouble with mine as they had decided to retreat to somewhere just beneath my larynx:

"Sir Toppam, this would be a lot more straightforward if you'd just relax..."

"Yes, I appreciate that, but they're not your gonads."

ALso, didn't help that I was driven to the hospital by an old guy who'd had one of the first ever ops carried out in about 1970, and insisted on regailing every single detail, including the rusty hedge trimmers they used and the way the anaesthetic didn't work...felt every single cut etc etc etc .. He also managed to find every bump on the raod back between Peterborough and Norwich ... Thanks Terry!!!!

Overall, the nicest thing you can do for the other half, and would I recommend it? Despite all the above, YES!


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Old 30th May 2005, 13:36
  #49 (permalink)  
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Darraweit Guim, Victoria
Age: 61
Posts: 507
Had mine snipped a decade or so ago, completely trivial, even with a local. It was just a snip for me, none of this cauterising stuff. I'd put a bit of thought into it, and would really like to emphasise a couple of points:

Be completely sure you want to do it. Regardless of it being 'easier' than getting the missus fixed, you don't want to resent the concept later.

Be aware it will not prevent your wife having more children, just you being the father. I'm not suggesting this will happen, but just get your head around the concept.

Supportive undies. I wore boxers, big mistake.

Spend a day on your back, and a week off the nest. If you try and exercise your equipment after 2 days (like I did, to see if it still worked) you will discover sensations that would bring a glow of appreciation from NKVD torturers.

You need to operate the equipment about 20 times to clear the magazine. Make the missus keep a diary. If you have been married for more than 10 years drink stout and eat oysters for this unusually busy time for you...
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Old 31st May 2005, 02:57
  #50 (permalink)  
Cunning Artificer
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It doesn't hurt, there are no side effects - apart from the lack of any further children - and everything appears to work exactly as before.

Actually "V" day turned out to be pretty hilarious as far as I was concerned. There were three of us in the waiting room, all dressed in a shortie gown and looking nervous as we tried to make polite conversation. I was last in. Chatting up the nurse who gave me the local anaesthetic I learned that she was from Singapore. Ten minutes later, we discussed the difficulty of finding a decent bowl of Laksa in London while she checked that my nuts were properly numb. It sounds like something from an erotic dream, having your (numb) nuts manipulated by a charming young asian lady in a white coat, black stockings and a nurses cap. Erotic? Not really but definitely exotic!

During the procedure the surgeon's wife called him up from her car to ask how much longer he would be, as she was driving around the block, unable to find a parking space. Surreal.

I walked to the tube station crabwise - nothing to do with my 14 years in the RAF - and made it back to Ruislip safely without anyone kicking me in the groin. If you ever see a hunchback shuffling sideways up Tottenham Court Road clutching his crotch in both hands you'll know he just came from the Mary Stopes clinic.

Later my nuts swelled up to the size of a small orange and turned blue, yellow and green. Mrs. B thought it was hilarious and, since it wasn't painful, I could certainly see the funny side. As this was before digital phtography I haven't got a photo but it would have been a fine one for the album, don't you think? It was just seven days later that I was able to try out the tackle to see if it still worked properly. It did.

A couple of months later, back in Borneo again, I had to send off my sample for testing in the special container provided for the purpose. Pop it into the pre-addressed jiffy bag and off to the Post Office. Now, what do we put on the Customs Declaration Form? Best to tell the truth I suppose.

Vasectomy - is it a problem? Nah, go for it. Its a real hoot from start to finish...
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Old 31st May 2005, 10:11
  #51 (permalink)  

Gentleman Aviator
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Teetering Towers - somewhere in the Shires
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Posts: 3,477
Got done years ago and it seems I had a shorter and better time than many previous posters.

Done under local, and they even gave me a Walkman to listen to - only took three tracks of the tape!

"Uncomfortable" afterwards, but much less than a kick in the nads or drunkenly slipping across the crossbar after Happy Hour! Considerably less than when 3 year old son-and-heir launched himself unexpectedly onto lap.

Only problems:

1. Tape in Walkman was James Last - I can't stand James Last!

2. Nurse in attendance was known to me socially/professionally (from aeromed flights) - small talk with her at such a time was rather surreal.

Best days work I ever did......
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Old 9th Jun 2005, 16:30
  #52 (permalink)  
Wurzel's Brother
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: midlands, uk
Posts: 47
Hmmm - perhaps I was unlucky

Firstly anybody saying it does not hurt is some kind of masochist - when I had it done a few years ago the first injection went into a round bit and the second one went into something that is not round.

After the doc had got me off the ceiling it was a simple 'cut and stitch' job (no cauterising....)

It would probably been ok after that but got back to my friend's car to find a parking ticket. In my haste to get in I'd misread the parking charge. However there was some relief as if I paid the charge plus a small fine within 3 hours then it would be quite cheap.

Walked to the local council tower block - it was as I approached I started 'coming back to life'.Not happy to find that the lift was not working so walking up 9 flights of stairs it was.

I grabbed the counter at the payment desk and said through gritted teeth "I think I owe you some money.....". My mate then chipped in with "Sorry if you can't understand him but he's just had his balls cut off".

I was the subject of much laughing from everyone who worked there and many other council customers!

By the time I'd got back to the car I had two large rugby balls in my trousers.

A bag of frozen peas really did it for me when I got home!!
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Old 9th Jun 2005, 16:44
  #53 (permalink)  
Join Date: May 2002
Location: "Deplorable but happy as a drunken Monkey!
Age: 72
Posts: 16,612
Whirly and the pain of childbirth....


Recently, you accused me of being a bit cheeky, however, I think your comment about women and the pain of childbirth is a bit insensitive to men's feelings.

What about the pain of conception that men go through?

Do you ladies ever consider that?

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Old 10th Jun 2005, 18:57
  #54 (permalink)  

Hovering AND talking
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Location: Propping up bars in the Lands of D H Lawrence and Bishop Bonner
Age: 55
Posts: 5,711
SAS, I'm sorry; you are right. It WAS very insensitive of me and it's not fair that I should imagine that women are the only ones who can suffer


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Old 10th Jun 2005, 19:20
  #55 (permalink)  

Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,747
what a ripoff
No no no no no...it's either a little snip, or cauterisation.

If you're worried about wanting more childer at a later date (expanding the mill maybe) then you cold always freeze a few wads first. I always wondered if the children that grow from frozen sperm prefer to live in Arctic regions.

Failing all of the above, strap your wrist watch around the root of yer trunk for about twenty minutes. That should do the trick
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Old 11th Jun 2005, 00:58
  #56 (permalink)  

Prince of Darkness
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: USA and a Brit
Posts: 350
Well this has been very enlightening. Smell yer gonads being burned or lie back and get them snipped off while the pain will return within hours. Watch yer groin swell to the size of a punnet of strawberries. Oh, and try imagining the pain of childbirth, that'll teach yer.

Fairly simple choice really. No one, and I mean no one attacks me gonads with a sharp object or a burning spear.

Thanks folks!

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Old 11th Jun 2005, 03:47
  #57 (permalink)  
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Singapore
Posts: 30

If a chap has his connecting tubes cut (and sealed off, I presume) what happens to the tadpole factory?

Does it eventually give up? Or are them creatures being re-routed somewhere else?

Worried of Turnham Green.
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Old 11th Jun 2005, 04:08
  #58 (permalink)  

Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 354
You will produce around 50,000 "tadpoles" per minute throughout your adult life, 24 hours a day, non-stop. Each one will last about a fortnight before breaking down and being reabsorbed. Having a vasectomy makes no difference at all to this process, it's business as usual in the "factory."
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Old 11th Jun 2005, 04:40
  #59 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: California USA
Posts: 719
the procedure is much less invasive than it is for her
Exactly why I had "it" done instead of suggesting that she have "it" done. No regrets.
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Old 11th Jun 2005, 06:40
  #60 (permalink)  
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Kammbronn
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Following the safe arrival of the second of our children, the wife and I decided it was time to seriously consider our future family-planning. Since she had trouble with both chemical and mechanical contraception, and I was none too keen on latex, we got the ball rolling and approached our doctor with a view towards a vasectomy.

The counselling consisted of several sessions of “Are you sure that’s what you want?”, then I got my appointment at the army hospital at Catterick. The procedure would involve both cauterisation and the removal of a section of the tubing. Reversal would not be an option.

The nurse doing the pre-op was nice, a chap called Brian IIRC. The doctor had a strange sense of the dramatic, asking if I minded having a couple of med students in to watch the procedure – I hope all 14 of them enjoyed the show.

The only pain I experienced at the time was a tugging sensation just under my lungs, strangely, then into the car and home before the local wore off.

I was away from home when I got the result of the samples, in the same post arrived a letter from the wife’s solicitor informing me that she wanted nothing more to do with me – the two events were unconnected.

Several years later I remarried, my new bride well aware of the situation, and we have become resigned to the fact that no more progeny will be forthcoming. I still feel that the decision made was the right one for the circumstances, though I do understand my wife's feelings of unfulfilment.
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