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Moronic adverts

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Moronic adverts

Old 3rd Aug 2001, 03:08
  #1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Reading,Thames Valley, England
Posts: 26
Unhappy Moronic adverts

I know we have this thread under various guises from time to time but the advertising people still treat us as total morons.

Recent example. On Classics FM there is a most annoying advert for WATER of all things. Not bottled water but plain old H20 TAP WATER. Now this adver has a smug voice saying " What could be more refreshing than a glass of water from the tap on a hot day..? " Well, for a start a nice cold glass of lager, or a chilled white wine. Even a suitably cold can of a soft drink would be better. In most homes tap water in hot weather is at best tepid, not refreshingly cold. The idiot on the ad then goes on to talk about "delicious" tap water. Absolute Sh*te"! at best tap water is tasteless and bland, at worst it has the tang of the chemicals used to purify it. Since we cannot chose which water company supplies this commodity to our homes, nor where they source it from, this advert is tedious, superfluous, banal, and insulting to the intelligence. Id love to drown the patronising moron who reads this advert in a few million gallons of the stuff!

Now what adverts, on Radio or TV most annoy you good folks out there.
Tartan Gannet is offline  
Old 3rd Aug 2001, 03:38
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Eight Gun Fighter
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Yes that's a stupid one. Advertising tap water with the intention of what? At whose expense? I hear most of it still leaks out of the pipes before it gets to the taps.

Besides, the water in my part of Oxfordshire is chalky. Fine for coffee and tea, usually, but for drinking and ice cubes I prefer a nice bottled variety.

There's a water bar in LA with over a hundred varieties.
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Old 3rd Aug 2001, 03:42
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Join Date: May 2001
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Slightly of topic I suppose.
They are heavily advertising that movie
Jurassic Park 3 at the moment, just watched a pirate copy of same, I know, I know I shouldn't.
If you have the chance to see it and you're over eight years of age don't, it has to be the singularly daftest film I've seen to date apart from Iron Eagle. its not even possible to suspend you're disbelief.
Good Dinosaurs as usual.

[ 02 August 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]
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Old 3rd Aug 2001, 07:02
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Join Date: Feb 1998
Location: Formerly of Nam
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What p!sses me off are cable channels advertising each other. HBO advertises an upcoming Discovery channel documentery on fossilised dinosaur sh!t, Discovery advertises Larry Kings interview with some burnt out has-been on CNN, Nickalodeon advertises Frasier on Star World RIGHT in the middle of a Ren & Stimpy suspense thriller, etc.
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Old 3rd Aug 2001, 12:13
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Join Date: Oct 2000
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I really hate that one where the couple are in a restaurant and she asks if he'd like to stay the night, and then starts to say 'Do you have.........., and the t*sser responds in a very loud voice, (as everyone at the other tables stop and watch this poor embarassed girl) 'Protection, yes I do etc etc' Not sure what he's advertising, I think it's chewing gum. He is one of the most nauseating guys on TV at the moment. Since they have American accents I assume it was made for that market, but it hasn't managed to make the transatlantic leap very well.

I haven't yet managed to watch it without leaping to change channels.
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Old 3rd Aug 2001, 16:48
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Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: London, England
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The Shake 'n' Vac ad with the woman dancing round her living room usually gets the vote as the worst ad ever. But apparently it was incredibly successful in selling the product - so there must be an awful lot of morons out there. The sort of people who bought pictures of horses running through the surf from Woolworth's.

Another ad which defies belief is for Dorothy Gray Salon Cold Cream (back in the fifties). For this a model was smeared with radioactive dirt - verified by a Geiger counter - then used the cream to clean the dirt and radioactivity off!

View this ad an other 'gems' on www.TVparty.com/emcomm.html

Rallye Driver is offline  
Old 3rd Aug 2001, 17:06
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Join Date: Jan 2001
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I'm with you on that one Velvet. Nauseating!

Keeping the water theme, there's an add for Brita water filters. A couple are bickering and after a while he makes a cup of tea. "Mmmm that's a lovely cup of tea" he says. She replies "Incorrect, that's my cup of tea". Now I'm not usually a pedant about such things but this one annoys me as her response is totally inappropriate to his statment - it just doesn't sit right.

The ads that really annoy me are the chocolate bar ads. When the person involved effortlessly tears off the the wrapper in a perfect band rather than having to use their teeth, leaving a raggy bit of plastic/paper. They also never seems to get caramel all wrapped round their teeth either!

Best ads - has to be Castlemaine XXXX "Snowy, I can see the pub from here!"
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Old 3rd Aug 2001, 17:53
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Thumbs down

"Oh Mister Ambassador,with these Ferrero Rocher you really spoil us"
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Old 3rd Aug 2001, 18:16
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Gravity Victim - I'm sorry, but you miss the point with the Ferraro Rocher ad. It is SO bad that it has transcended the genre and actually become a thing of wonder. (Went to a party based on it once - an absolute scream).

I agree with the Brita water filter couple - the one where she's doing the sit-ups is particularly bad. And you get a look inside their perfect fridge; filtered water, orange juice, nothing half-open/decomposing and ONE bottle of wine...I wouldn't like to meet the sort of person who's impressed by that ad...
I'd rather is offline  
Old 3rd Aug 2001, 18:45
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Join Date: Jun 2001
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Pure Sh*te Vol 3

A: Meeting the girls?
B: Yes.
A: And you're eating onions?
B: Yes, I love 'em.
A: She's going to love you're onion breath.
B: Nah mate, I've got doublemint!

Need I go on?
itchy kitchin is offline  
Old 3rd Aug 2001, 18:57
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Join Date: Aug 2000
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There are so many ads that have obviously cost loadsamoney, and equally obvoiusly are not going to sell zip to anyone. I stood in amazement staring at a huge poster in central London for a new high-powered Hoover vacuum cleaner (desperate effort to regain ground from Dyson).
The slogan was "At last - A Turbo that women can drive."
I wonder how many machines that little gem sold to the ball-busting female lawyers and media types in the area?
gravity victim is offline  
Old 3rd Aug 2001, 22:33
  #12 (permalink)  
Posts: n/a

Try www.adcritic.com

The downloads may take a little while but some are worth it. Try the PETA badcat one.
Old 3rd Aug 2001, 22:48
  #13 (permalink)  

Jet Blast Rat
Join Date: Jan 2001
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I suggest you pop to the tap now and have a drink. In your area it is Thames Water, and has come against bottled water in blind tasting several times, and come top. Originally done by a consumer group (could have been 'Which?') to give a lie to the claims of bottled water distributors' ads.

This then leads me onto : irritating ads for bottled water. The stuff is still water! OK, so I will drink it here (Bournemouth water is sometimes foul, like swimming-pool water). I also have it good authority (a hydrogeologist, no less) that it is less healthy than tap water. Evian's current one is especially crap. Remember, Evian backwards spells naive
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Old 4th Aug 2001, 00:49
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What I alway find amusing is the way people are willing to pay a premium for "mineral water". That's just a euphemism for dirty water! Has it not occurred to them that we build filtration plants for a reason?
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Old 4th Aug 2001, 01:22
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PowWow water bought out 'Crystal Spring' of Long Hanborough (between Kidlington and BZN). Crystal Spring it was not - it comes from a local bore hole! The hole is bored into oolitic limestone (Cotswold stone) - not a lot of crystals there.

Heineken are winding every one up with the Paul Daniels singing ad - genuinely awful!
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Old 4th Aug 2001, 05:23
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And that one where the female barrister pauses for a second, and the judge says, "I URGE you to...." and the barrister starts to swing her hair around like a frigging lasso....,
I'm glad to say that I've got no idea what the ad's for!
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Old 5th Aug 2001, 00:27
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Join Date: May 2001
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mmmmmm so sickly sweet, i think im going to puke
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Old 5th Aug 2001, 00:44
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There are some good ones,
I like the one where the old granny is over for dinner and says.
"He's not really your dad, we never knew who your dad was"
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Old 5th Aug 2001, 01:24
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The Guvnor
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Thumbs up

*Nil nos Tremefacit's* post reminds me of the Only Fools and Horses episode where Del Boy comes up with the Peckham Spring mineral water which sells like hotcakes ... and glows in the dark!
Old 5th Aug 2001, 02:03
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Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: South of England
Posts: 1,060

I know it's contrary to the thread, but sometimes, some ads just make up for the bad ones.

My favourite at the moment is the man from John West who kicks the grizzly bear in the b*ll*cks to relieve him of the salmon, so that "John West gets the best"! You can totally sympathise with the bear when you see - and hear - his reaction!
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